I have now felt all the tension drain away!

AK - Jeff

We finished Franz' books just about 18 months back - and that nailed the lid shut on the watchtower coffin for wifey and I. But I just noticed in the last few weeks that I am starting to feel 'normal' - that is all the tension is gone now. No guilt nagging in the back of my head, no concerns about being found out [we faded out]. As if it took 18 months to get the mind free and start the process of getting on with it!

I have known all along that leaving this cult would be a 'process' and not a moment, but I am surprised that all of a sudden it just seems to feel like I am completely out and all the twine is cut!!!

I just noticed today that the tightness that I used to feel in my neck and shoulders was entirely absent. I have noticed too that I feel less and less need to come to this forum for support. Now I feel the need to come here to lend support.

It is not that I do not think about the borg at all, but I just feel a complete separation now. One of my main worries was that I would lose my cousin, who was my best friend for thirty years. It seems as though I have, he doesn't call or answer my calls. But I just don't seem to care! I think it is his problem and his loss! I feel cured!

How long did it take you?

kittyeatzjdubs

feels great don't it? it took me 4 years...i'd get the courage...then they'd have a talk about how the end was nigh, and i'd freak out. i finally figured out it was a load of crap.

cheers to ya!

luv, kitty

love2Bworldly

I think mine was a gradual not worrying about the WTS over many years time. I didn't learn about all the scandals though until a couple months ago when I started surfing the Internet. I didn't know about the change in the outlook in 1995, the Ray Franz incident, the hidden sexual abuse, the UN scandal or the change in the blood issue. I'm still reeling from all this crap I've learned. But I find myself on a mission to help other people like you mentioned, to support others who have left, because I have been out for many years.

zen nudist

one thing I read when I first left JWs was you can see severe psychic trauma on someone by looking at the normal

position of their iris....it should be resting right on the lower eye lid. for normal people...but those who have been psychically traumatized- their lower eye lid droops down making a lot of white show....

after leaving JWs it took nearly a year before mine looked normal again.

AK - Jeff

zen - I will go and do an 'Iris eval' after reading that. Interesting.

Thegoodgirl

congratulations to you! It took me about 2 years to be able to say I was raised a JW or my mom is a JW instead of "I'm a JW but not attending". Feels great, don't it?

Ellie

I wish I felt so seperated from it all.

I'm 25 now, my parents were disfellowshipped when I was 11, I studied for about a year when I was 16 and started a study again last year with my now reinstated family but finished the study last November but I still find myself believing it, maybe not the rational side of me believing it but certainly the emotional.

I feel anxious all the time, I have actually developed obsessive compulsive disorder and my therapist blames this on the witness' and I feel kind of afraid just being on this website.

But after reading your comments I guess I'll just have to persavier (don't think I spelt that word correctly, brain not working as only just got up).

vitty

Ellie

I know what you mean. I was brought up in it till I was 9 then my family fell away. When I was 24 and had children of my own, I still believed it was the truth and went back, BIGGEST mistake of my life. I had done no research, I just excepted everything because I was emotionally connected.

That was 20 years ago,last year I started to fade, Iknew for the first time in my life the "truth" is not the truth. But it takes quite a while emotionally to grasp its not the truth.

Just keep learning about the history of the WT. Maybe if you go on the "best of " section that helped me a lot.

And as for tension, I know what you mean

I have now felt all the tension drain away!

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