the life of a dieing spirit

by tsunami_rid3r 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • tsunami_rid3r

    I'm feeling ever sad again, so I wrote this:

    goin where i dont belong
    lost and lonely i walk
    cause im an empty shell
    looking for my spirit
    going and coming through
    a repeat of this and that
    will we ever learn
    im just a dying soul
    and i want to let go
    cause im a ghost
    in a world full of spirit
    never ever want to live
    this way i want
    i want it back ever so

  • AlmostAtheist

    Welcome to 17, my friend. I wrote lots of great angst-ridden stuff at your age. It's just the way it works, unfortunately.

    The upshot is it gets much better from here. Your college days are going to help you decide what best fills that spirit tank of yours, and your career and family will make it that much better.

    1. college

    2. career

    3. stable home and income

    4. marriage

    5. children

    6. lots of cool stuff like travel, hobbies, friendships

    7. death



  • El blanko
    El blanko

    1. college - not the be all and end all, but a basic education is necessary

    2. career - hate that word - it sounds like such a dull cliche (sorry AA)

    3. stable home and income - possible for some, not for all

    4. marriage - optional

    5. children - definitely optional, after careful consideration

    6. lots of cool stuff like travel, hobbies, friendships - definitely, if you are fortunate enough to afford/find these things

    7. death - maybe

    I think there is far more to life than those 7 points personally. Existing on the fringe of this mad world is my course.

    Like your poem by the way. I know the feeling well from my own past.

  • love2Bworldly

    Be patient--things will get better. Easier said than done. Teenage life is very hard, even harder with JW parents. Glad you come here to vent rather than doing something not constructive. Writing always helps me feel better, especially using a journal.

  • doogie

    here's my list of things you can look forward to (you know, in addition to the career and school stuff...)

    1. beer

    2. doin it

    3. then you die (but who drank beer and did it!)

    the teen years sucked for me too. at least you're almost through with em. then life can begin.

  • Dustin

    I understand your pain. The JW's leave a definite scar on your emotions. It's something that no matter how hard I try I can't forget. I like your poem/song whichever you prefer it to be. So I'll share one with you that I wrote shortly after leaving the JW religion behind.

    I?ve been left without hope

    This small town

    It f?ing chokes

    Nowhere to go

    When you fall apart

    You break alone

    Without a God

    In the dark

    Faded hopes

    Black and endless dreams

    Alone it leads

    To the deep dark sleep

    Just remember you aren't alone. There's alot of us here who understand, and care about you.


  • RunningMan

    Ah, kids today. They think they invented angst. Hell, back in my day, we had angst out the wazoo. You couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting some angst.

  • LongHairGal


    I know that you are hurting now but it will pass. I know because I have been through it. Pain so bad I could hardly stand it. While you are waiting for this miserable phase to pass, try to make the time count by doing something constructive. Whether it be a hobby, job, losing weight, etc. Do it. Keep yourself occupied. In time the pain will be over. You will be happy again.


  • GentlyFeral

    El blanko,

    2. career - hate that word - it sounds like such a dull cliche (sorry AA)

    OK, how about "a lifetime of attractive labor"?


    I think your poem shows a clear view of your present situation, but realize that it's not permanent; a life-saving change can begin at any time. Your prom date sounds pretty shallow, not terribly uncommon for someone in their late teens. Cast your net a little wider. Do you have many "worldly" friends? If not, seek out more - get to know the friends of your friends. And their sisters, and their sisters' friends

    gently feral

  • Check_Your_Premises

    Tsu... oh come come. I know your life appears to suck and be full of despair right now. But it is a temporary condition. You are going to move on and be the master of your own destiny very soon. (which might not be as great as you think... it is... just not like you think)

    And like another poster said... you are 17. Did it ever occur to you that you are SUPPOSED to feel this way?! It is simply part of the age.

    The skirt.. what can I say. Women come and women go. Never get to bummed about one, there is always another around the corner. And once one doesn't like you anymore, there isn't a damn thing you can do to change it. You already lost the girl, don't lose your dignity also. I have always found when a women stops/doesn't express interest, the most interesting thing you can do is act like you could care less. Have you ever taken economics? Think supply and demand. If that is to over your head, think scarcity. Everyone wants what they think is scarce. A woman can't resist the take away.

    And cheer up for criminy christmas! If nothing else you are well fed, have a roof over your head, and you will soon have your freedom. That is more than most who now or ever have lived. You were born an American! Count your blessings!

Share this