Lonely JW Ex Hubbie

by Lehaa 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lehaa
    Lehaa

    Just got back from picking up my kids from my ex.

    He'd called me to come pick them up early as he was trying to get some work finished and our daughter was cranky and getting in the way. Not a problem, it was not his weekend to have them, he's had them to help me out.

    Any way I get there and he looked terrible, realy sad and beaten.

    I said he looked really bummed, he said he was and had been for a while. I asked him if he had anyone to talk to and he said no.

    I really felt sorry for him, really felt like inviting him round for dinner and a bottle of wine but knew that was not a good idea.

    We stood there talking for about an hour. I told him I was doing really wel and had a great bunch of friends and that I'd been to a ex JW meetup the day before, told him how great it was and how much i enjoyed it. How we did not sit around bagging the witnesess, like they're told we do, but just talking about how we felt now and how much better we were all doing.

    He seemed really interested, so I just kept talking and telling him how i feel so much closer to Jehovah now and how much more at peace I am with myself I am. How I no longer believe in Armageddon as I don't think that a loving god would destroy so many nice people.

    He seemed really interested, but put up the usual counter arguments. I just asked him why he said that, was it because that's what he'd been taught or that's what he truly believed. You can see for the first time he really sat back and thought. I was really pleased for him.

    Also he's really lonely but is sacred of a commitment. He's had a few "worldly girls" after him but he said he doesn't wan't to get involved with them. I asked him why and he gave they usual answer. I told him i thought that was sad, just cause they are not witnesses does not mean they are bad or wicked, he might be passing up something great. He just said he was not sure.

    Was really sad to see him like that, and not feel he can get help.

    I'd really like to help him but I know I can't, he really needs to sort this out for himself.

  • ShadowX
    ShadowX

    Hmmmmmmmm, Well invite him to join this forum!
    That would make him feel better, eventually anyway

  • Lehaa
    Lehaa

    ShadowX.

    Would love to show him this forum but he's totally computer illiterate, that and he does'nt have access to the internet where he lives.

    Bummer.

  • under74
    under74

    Well it sounds like you're being a good friend to him by lending an ear. If dinner's out of the question maybe tell him if he ever needs to talk you'll have coffee with him or something like that. Maybe some offer to take him to a JW meet up if he's up for it.

  • Frog
    Frog

    Hey there Lehaa, it's really great that you have such an amicable relationship with the father of your children:-) You're right though, you can't really help him through this unless he seriously wants your help. Perhaps if you can leave it open for him, tell him that you will always be there to lend a hearing ear, but this is something he really needs to figure out for himself. The more pressure he feels from you (inviting him to an apostafest or the forum would be way to intense I think) the more scared he will become, it could frighten him to pull his bootstraps right up and get back into the faith in full swing. He knows now how well you're doing, he can no doubt see the peace in your face and your voice. That memory will stay with him for a long timet:-) froglett

  • vitty
    vitty

    Have you got CoC book to give him,????

  • Lehaa
    Lehaa

    thanks all.

    Trouble is I don't want to get too close and give him hope that we'll get back together, he has a habit of junping to conclusions. And that will just make him worse.

    I have COC but i'm still reading it, he doesn't like reading either.

    I'm hoping i can get him alone to a meetup. I'll have to take things slowly though.

    Thanks for all your suggestions.

  • Lehaa
    Lehaa

    ok, i've just invited the ex over for dinner, nothing special just take out. Am I mad, of just a soft touch.

    He's getting much better, even gave the kids back to me a day early this weekend so I could celebrate my daughters birthday on her actual birthday.

    What is going on.

    I have no idea. I spoke to my mum about it, she says maybe he's coming over to the dark side. LOL, I doubt it though, he worries too much about what his family thinks.

    God I don't know how to help him.

  • avishai
    avishai
    I have COC but i'm still reading it, he doesn't like reading either.

    Hmmm, CoC books on tape version? could we do it? should we write ray?

  • Lehaa
    Lehaa

    definately

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