Dear Abby, I need advise

Outaservice

Dear Abby,

I have two brothers and two sisters; one brother is a Jehovah's Witness Circuit Overseer, and the other one was just sentenced to death for murder.

My mother died from insanity when I was very young. My two sisters are prostitutes, and my father sells narcotics to feed the family.

Recently I met a girl who was recently released from a reformatory, where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child; and I want very much to marry her.

My problem is this: If I marry this girl, should I tell her about my brother who is the Circuit Overseer?

Thank you,

Outaservice

No, if that part of your life is behind you, there is no need for you to feel like you have to "confess" every dark corner of your life to your partner. On the other hand, be sure that if you decide to keep quiet about this, you don't later on change your mind, and, in effect, drag your innocent spouse through the mud of your past.

Francois

Beautiful.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Volkswagen full of Jehovah's Witnesses? On the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

Francois

Music Mouth

Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call
Signed Bewildered

Bewildered, Bewildered...
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy

Unhappy, Unhappy...
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed Noise-maker

Noise-maker, Noise-maker
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married

Just Married, Just Married...
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

larc

Brother Notinservice,

It seems like there is one bad apple in every family. I know you are ashamed, but like the others who have given you spiritual counsel, I think you need to hide your shame from your dearly beloved. I am glad you have us to share with. We understand, or as Bill Clinton used to say, "I feel your pain."

larc

Notinservice,

I am worried about you. You have not written back after receiving some good advice. Please don't get too depressed about having a Circuit Overseer in the family. I know it is a source of shame for you, but it is not your fault. So please do not get depressed and blow your brains out with your father's 45. It is not good for your health.

On a more positive note, may I attend the wedding?

Dear Abby, I need advise

Outaservice

SixofNine

Francois

Music Mouth

larc

larc

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