My JW brother is dating

by jwNOT 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • jwNOT
    jwNOT

    Ha! A few months ago my JW father and stepmother took me and my kids to a movie (rated g...LOL). Anyway my grown JW brother who still lives with them called on their cell phone and he was planning on his "friend" coming over. My stepmother told him that if the girl was coming over she would be home immediately to provide some supervision. Are couples not allowed to be alone at all before marriage? The have been dating for 6-8 months. It really ticks me off because I know they will go all out for his wedding and I know when he has kids they will be wonderful grandparents. I didn't even get a card when I got married and they only see my kids 2 or 3 times a year and then we have to go somewhere, we can't just hang out at their house.

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool

    No, couples are not allowed to be alone before marriage. Once, about 15 minutes before a Tuesday night meeting I was practising my talk in the second school. My fiance was with me. An elder from Bethel? came in and broke it up, telling me it was inappropriate for me to be alone with a woman who was not my wife. It pissed me off a little, so I answered, "Roger, if I want to get laid I can think of better places than the kingdom hall to do it."

    Walter

  • Mamacat
    Mamacat

    I remember getting interrupted by elders I didn't even know at the assemblies for standing out on the concourse talking to another teen-aged brother by myself.

    "Sister, it's time to take your seat."

  • Nancy Drake
    Nancy Drake

    I know what you're going through, jwNOT, My mother said I could come to her house, but we were not allowed to have a meal together. But when I moved to another city, I could stay for a little bit and have a meal because I was traveling. Later they changed their minds and said I could only come over if I agreed to get a piece of furniture that belonged to me and bring it back with me, because then I would be going there for "family business."

    Also, they've seen my six-year-old son only a couple times since he was born. The first time they actually came to my house when he was a few months old. Then my father wouldn't come because it was against his conscience. But my mother decided it wasn't against hers, but she had to meet me in a park, she wouldn't come to my house. Now they say that he's of the age that he can come visit them on his own. That the only reason they were allowed to visit me before was because my son was too small to be visited by himself.

    So now when they call me every two years or so "for family business' they ask if they can pick him up and take him for a weekend. I'm like, yeah right, like I'd let my son go off with a complete stranger so you can start brainwashing him!

    Roger, if I want to get laid I can think of better places than the kingdom hall to do it."
    Haha, Walter, this reminds me of a fantasy in the apostababes thread...
  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    "Roger, if I want to get laid I can think of better places than the kingdom hall to do it."

    What a brilliant reply izcool! LMAO

    crumpet of the "wouldn't mind getting her oats in a kingdomhall " class.

    Jwnot - even after marriage you couldnt be alone with a member of the opposite sex. I had to go with my dad to drop off bible studies who were female to their homes after meetings while my mum put my younger sisters to bed. I think this has a lot to do with my attitude and severe possessiveness today where I get mad if my b/f has to be in a car with another female for work or in the same hotel. He just can't understand it - as he says men are not made to pounce on any woman the second they are alone with them and is offended that my jealousy is not restricted to the young or the pretty but woman who are old enough to be his mother! It is irrational and ridiculous the way we brought up to distrust everyone, ESPECIALLY OURSELVES!

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    Crumpet (that sign in name is hillarious, i think its great)

    You are so right...the message from above....dont trust even yourself, because you are not worthy to be trusted or to trust; its so the way we were brought up. Its a self esteem attacking mind f*ck.

  • Es
    Es

    I remember in our congo couples who were not engaged were never allowed to sit next to each other in the hall!!! I was like WTF what can we do in a kingdom hall. We were never allowed to hold hands till we were engaged either

    es

  • barry
    barry

    Ive never been a JW but the lady I studied with would come to my house for the study alone and I would go to her,s too. At the kingdom hall she told me not to sit with her during meetings because the elders may think there was something going on. Is that nuts or what.?

  • jwNOT
    jwNOT

    Well, he called me the other day to let me know he is getting married. They have been engaged a week now and are already having the invitations made. They are inviting over 300 people. I asked him how he proposed to her. He giggled and told me that they met at the hall and went to Applebees later so he proposed to her the same way they met. He acted like he had something to do at the hall so he took her with him. Once there both sets of parents ran out from hiding and he proposed. Then they all went out to Applebees. How DUMB!!!!! He wanted to know if I will be at the wedding. I will go but I already dread the thought of being the worldly one in a room of 300. I think that might be the day I turn into an alcoholic. He kept beating around the bush in our conversation and I was hoping he might ask for my kids to be part of the wedding. But that didn't happen. I got a 50 dollar bill and a card when I got married. I bet they go all out for him.

  • Honesty
    Honesty
    No, couples are not allowed to be alone before marriage. Once, about 15 minutes before a Tuesday night meeting I was practising my talk in the second school. My fiance was with me. An elder from Bethel? came in and broke it up, telling me it was inappropriate for me to be alone with a woman who was not my wife. It pissed me off a little, so I answered, "Roger, if I want to get laid I can think of better places than the kingdom hall to do it."

    Walter

    I would have loved to have been the fly on the wall when you told him off.

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