The pain will get worse - but from now on it will be the ache of healing rather than the numbing shocks of continual trauma.
You are going to find wounds you never even imagined you had, and you will survive them.
You will find depths inside yourself, bitter black pits of loneliness and rage yawning inside your heart like the jaws of the Devil himself. You will also learn to accept them as part of you, a part that the dubs trained you to imagine you shouldn't have. Eventually they will fade in importance, I promise you.
The world will surge around you in a cold wave - a shock unlike anything since your birth. And you will get used to it, adapt it, and learn to love it.
You can and will survive this, and you will thrive. You are stronger than this.
And someday you will look back on all of this and roll your eyes at how little the men who hurt you were. I swear this, you will look back and thank them for the freedom they have given you.
You will also find real friends who will not leave you when you need them most, who will stick by you no matter how dark the hour.
You don't know it yet, but you have won.