need help making a decision again

by crizlee 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • crizlee

    i posted about this earlier here

    i got my papers from A&M and i wnated to live on campus, so i tell my dad if you let me live on campus ill go to the sunday but if i stay here i wont go at all still, and he didnt even answer. everyday i ask him are you sure that i wont have to go the meeting anymore when i turn 18 (may 5) all he says is we'd like you to go. then today he comes up to me and i ask him about the deal on campus housing again, and he tells me i have to go to the meetings after i turn 18 anyway and if i dont want to go ill have to move out.

    im so moving towards moving out to A&M, the semester starts in august though, i turn 18 may 5, FAFSA is due march 1. what are the steps i should take right now? i have 60 bucks on me, and i just submitted my W-4 form as dependent because i had no other choice i guess.

  • Aude_Sapere

    Pretty sucky situation.

    I would hope that you can apply for financial aid - but recent experience with family member in California is that much aid was denied because the parents 'could' contribute. They just refused to.

    Parents 'qualifications' played a significant roll until - I believe - age 25.

    Under the circumstances I would probably push for independence. It's alot of work, but then so is meeting attendance and parental constraints on an adult living at home.

    Not much help, I know. sorry....

    I do feel for you. VERY impressed that you are going to school. That should be #1. Have you spoken with financial aid? I wish I had pursued college right out of high school. I didn't even start until age 32.

    Maybe my suggestion is: explore all your options. Choose whichever one will ENSURE that you stay in school.


  • blondie
    he tells me i have to go to the meetings after i turn 18 anyway and if i dont want to go ill have to move out.

    Not an unusual request. It's his house (and your mother's); they are responsible and pay for the bills. So their rules apply. It might be a good idea to find a way to move out and go to school. Check with your guidance counselor (or equivalent). You may have to borrow money and work as well. There is no reason why you should expect your parents to take care of you financially after 18 (or you finish HS). This is your opportunity to show that you can make your own decisions and make this work.

    With independence to make your own decisions comes responsibility.

    Love, Blondie

  • Carmel

    Go to the A&M campus and discuss your situation with the student guidance office. Tell them about the JW issue. Believe me, they are probably fully conversant with the goofiness of it all. You would be surprised how many people will come to your aid if you are open and honest with your hope and desires. This may be a stepping stone!


  • crizlee

    update: i can live on the dorms but i still have to attend all the meetings and go to field service. they will help me financially with everything, sounds like a pretty good deal, what do yall think?

  • Nocturne

    sounds like a good deal, but the question is do you think it's worth it to sell your soul to the WTS for your education? In my experience, it's not a good thing to be completely dependent on your parents given your situation, because then they'll try to use that as a hold on you once you finally start moving towards your independance. I agree with the others who say look for other options at your school's guidance office and explain your situation completely. I would probably only take your parent's offer only as a last resort.

    I'll pm you my email address, and if you have MSN or yahoo messenger if you ever feel the need to talk.


  • metatron

    Take it from me, it can be very shocking to hear your kid say they want nothing further

    to do with the "truth". You'll need to be gradual - and gentle with them. I presume that

    you're going for 4 years - which isn't forever. You might weigh the consequences of telling

    them that you just can't believe in it anymore and ask if they want you to be a hypocrite

    for the next few years. Be as nice as you can be and after some time. they might slowly

    change, as many Witnesses are quietly doing.


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