JW's are so quick to judge those who leave

by unbeliever 9 Replies latest jw friends

  • unbeliever

    Major shock I know. My mom called me today and I asked her how everyone was doing. She mentioned an old childhood friend of mine left her husband and 2 kids. Mom said she abandoned them and was living the single life. She had not been to a meeting in months and let her ex keep the kids and noone ever sees her with her kids. We have not been in touch with each other since high school. She left the borg for a couple of years and married a non-jw but went back. I don't know why mom did not say anything until now. So anyway this did not sound like her. I could not picture her abandoning her kids. I do a quick search on the internet through county court records and sure enough she is divorced but has shared custody with her ex. In our state if a parents has the kid(s) more than 120 days per year you get a major reduction in child support. It even showed that. Now if she is getting a reduced amount of child support from her ex then they must be living with her 50% or more of the time.

    I called mom back and told her she better get her facts straight. Telling people that someone abandoned their own children is a very serious accusation. That really pissed me off. It's such a shame that everyone in the KH thinks she abandoned her kids. Rumors usually go crazy after a person leaves but this is really low.

  • rekless

    rumor do fly...for instance when I quit there was rumors about me becoming a warlock. THough I should have looked into witchcraft and white magic.. They will say anything to ruin a person's reputation.

  • jeanniebeanz
    It's such a shame that everyone in the KH thinks she abandoned her kids.

    This is exactly what my ex, with the help of the local congregation, tried to pull on me. I suppose that there are still some people that think that, but then, they still believe that the GB is the Faithful and Discreet Slave too, so their pretty damn gullible!


  • steve2

    How familiar this sounds to me. I don't think the JWs could cope with taking the time and care to obtain a "balanced" view of why people leave. The JWs have a vested interest in putting the most negative, and even sinister slant on someone's reasons for leaving. I used to think that other religious people were very unfair in the way they jumped to wrong conclusions about what JWs believed, until I began listening to what the JWs themselves were saying about "inactive" brothers and sisters. Seldom, if ever, did the JWs bother to check out the facts or listen to the other side of the story. It suited their closed-minds to judge and label and reflects a very defensive religious faith. "By this all will know that you are my disciples if you have judgement among yourselves!"

  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    My husband has been fading away for a while now. His mother has tried over and over to offer new uplifiting literature and invitations to the memorial of course.

    I have to say though most of my husbands family are the most miserable people in the world. My mother in law is chronically depressed. My sisters in laws all have some form of mental illness and live in horrid pig-sty conditions.

    If being a Jehovahs Witness is the right thing and they are to be blessed by Jehovah why are none of them happy?

    My husband and I are happy and get happier the longer he is away from the hall and the witnesses.

  • Golf

    Good move unbeliever. There is so much gossip and rumor that floats around such people that they need to be reminded, hey, get your facts straight!

    This may be a good opening to talk to your mom about the org not preaching and getting their facts straight. Worth a try.


  • Balsam

    I left my JW husband and the JW's, my oldest son was 18, my youngest son was 13. I talked to both the boys and told them I was leaving their Dad and divorcing him. I was leaving with another man from my childhood that I had reconnected with. He was helping me get out of the verbally and abusive marriage I had been in for 30 years. Ok so I ask my youngest son to come with me. He said no he wanted to stay with his friends and his school. Both the boys said they understood why I was leaving their Dad, because he is an idiot and jerk.

    Here is my story, I leave, divorce my son's Dad and I get joint custody of my youngest son who comes and spends a lot of time with me but not quite the 120 days a year. I don't pay child support directly, because the ex and my son live in the house I jointly own which covers that. Anyway what happens is everyone of the JW's tell everyone I abandoned my sons. My childrens father threatened me with death if I took the youngest one from the house. I would have done it anyway if he would have just come with me.

    They told people I had run off with a man I met on the internet, which was not accurate. This man and I grew up together long before I ever became a JW's. They told people I never saw my sons, another lie. Even with the youngest one coming for his weekends they still run their mouths and lies. My youngest son came to hate his Dad and the religion for the petty lies he found his Dad circulating about me and refused to go to meetings anymore by the time he was 15. Then when the opportunity came along he moved out of the house and is living with his big brother who is now 21 and supporting himself in the same town, and has an apartment. My son still wants to remain in his home town, but has come to hate the JW's. My oldest son is out of the JW now too and disfellowshipped. In the mean time their Dad has remarried another JW women he knew for 3 months and they both continue to lie about me, and now our sons. I am now married to my lost childhood love for 2 years and we have a new home which we have been trying to get my youngest son who is now 17 to move into his bedroom. But he wants to stay with his brother, and he is doing fine in school. Both the boys like their new Step Dad far more than they do their own Dad because he is good to them. Both my sons say the best thing that happen to them was when I left their Dad, because he is completely self-centered brut.

    Jehovah's Witnesses thrive on the lies they create about people who leave. And their is always a negative twist to the story about the one who left right or wrong. I know of 4 JW women who have left their husbands in the congregation I was in alone. 2 of us had children under 18 and the children stayed with the Dad. The young Mom eventually got custody of her 3 children is working and taking care of them fine. The husband had threatened her if she took the kids, just as my ex-jw husband threatened me about taking our son. Threatened to kill me. Do JW tell that, the potental violent personalities of them men they are leaving? No of course not.


  • freedom96

    Many witnesses live a very sheltered life, so when someone leaves, gets df'd or whatever, rumours are quick to spread, as there is not much else going on.

    Plus, the quicker they are to condemn, the better they can justify their life to themselves.

  • unbeliever

    You know I am surprised they did not accuse her of running off with another man. I wish I had the WT CD on me. I would quote some WT articles on slander and gossip and send them to her and she could pass them on to her gossipy jw friends.


    Happy Birthday!

  • TheEdge

    oh yes - once you leave, the 'Congregation Harpies' will dig up anything they can on you, multiply it, and add some......

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