if (BLANK) were a Jdub, he would...

by in a new york bethel minute 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • in a new york bethel minute
    in a new york bethel minute

    remember that show Doogie Howser, M.D.?.. well if he was a Jdub, he would have gotten baptized at 4, started pioneering right away because it's the first privelege u can receive when u get baptized... he'd be in bethel by the time he's 6. at age 8 he'd be an elder. by the time he was 11 he'd be a C.O. then a D.O. at age 12 1/2. at age 43 he'd become a member of the Governing Body.

    give me some example of if >>>> were a Jdub!!!

    bethelly love,


  • outbutnotdown

    I can't think of any right now, but I found it funny how Doogie would become a district overseer in 12 1/2 years but there would still be a 30 year wait to make the next step up to GB member.

    That says a lot, I think.


  • in a new york bethel minute
    in a new york bethel minute

    haha im glad u noticed that...

  • kaykay_mp

    If Bush were a Jdub, he would not sign a declaration of war, but give free rein to other countries who want to kick our ass anyway, because he would command Americans not to "take up armaments".

    • He would have the flag taken down everywhere.
    • Homosexuals are screwed.
    • National holidays would be screwed because he would outlaw them and I'd be pissed because I'd have to go to school/work.
    • He'd put the UN in Congress (bc the WT is in bed with the UN anyway).
    • He'd give free room and board to the Gooberning Body in the White House.
    • First Lady Laura would be stuck in the kitchen with the twins because she'd have to fix all the meals and coffee while all the men in the Oval Office talk about who else to screw over.
    • He'd be shirking his Presidently duties to give more time to the "good news".
    • The State of the Nation and Inagural addresses would be about the "good news" as well.
    • He'd outlaw blood transfusions so hemophiliacs are really screwed.
    • He'd totally give Bill Bowen and his other SilentLamb cohorts a life sentence.

    I can't think of anymore right now. I'm not a good American or anything (way way left wing/independent) but I know that if Bush were a Jdub, it wouldn't take a fortune teller to tell you that this country would completely go to hell.



  • kaykay_mp

    Oooh! I got another one:

    He'd make Prince Secretary of State to teach other countries how to be his "Rainbow Children".

    screwed up, I tell ya.



  • ColdRedRain

    If Paris Hilton were a dub:

    Her "contrevertial film" would be of that putting her hand in the back pocket of another brother repeatedly.
    Her service car would be a special made 4 door Ferrari.
    She would date some poor brother from the inner city or poor ruals for a month just to break his heart then get her elder dad to get him reprooved when he bitches about it.

    Waaaiiit a minute. That's how normal dub girls act regardless!!!!!

    Todd Bertuzzi

    He punches out apostates at the convention.
    He kicks unruly pit bulls at people's doors.
    When he's disfellowshipped for smoking a cigar at work, he lights up another cigar, blows the smoke in the elder's face and punches them right after.

    Howard Dean

    He yells during talks on masturbation. "It's a sin to be playing with your bodies before you're married, young brothers and and sisters!!!!"

    He would clearly overtake Ted Jaracz as the most annoying JW in the world.

    Jim Morrisson

    He would get drunk before every talk, and every talk will have a reference to Greek mythology.

    He would be at first, a good looking brother with an enchanting talking style, but as he got older, he would get chubby.

    He would constantly get DF'ed for his many affairs with many sisters.

    He would whip his penis out at a DC talk.

  • kaykay_mp

    Got another "If Bush were a Jdub..."

    If Bush were a Jdub, he wouldn't be President for very long, because there would be a massive mob on the White House to beat the living crap out of him, because he did all the stuff mentioned above in my last two posts on this thread.

    Especially war veterans would come to kick his ass bc of the flag thing.



  • pepheuga

    what if jesus were a dub?


Share this