I've posted here before about my teenaged daughter's boyfriend (yes Brenda, he's still here...) and his "liberal" JW family. I understand those who fade or choose to stay in because of family ties...and there have been a few posts by those who still believe but choose a more worldly lifestyle--I think that is where this family is at.
I was giving the boyfriend a ride home the other night and he was talking to my daughter about how his JW friend's parents had decided that they couldn't associate with his family because they didn't do enough for "the truth". I don't think they have been officially marked, just by this other family. He was very hurt/offended and felt that this was totally against what the religion taught--in his mind, to be loving to everyone. I kept quiet but my daughter gently pointed out that, although his own family had taught him that, the shunning was actually typical more "normal" JW behaviour. He was quiet for a minute then asked, "Is that how it's like a cult?" A different friend of his was recently made to break up with his worldly girlfriend of 3 years. Yet, his own family has several nonJW's, including mixed marriages, and they all still seem to get along fine. His mom has told the 3 kids that they are not allowed to get baptized, but they do still go to some meetings. I think he is feeling the conflict between the official rules and his family's interpretation.
In the long run, I think it's great that they are telling him to think for himself but it doesn't correspond to what he sees in practice from the other Dubs. For any of you in similar situations, how do you reconcile having one foot in/one foot out for your kids?
Riding the Fence
by ConcernedMom 3 Replies latest jw friends
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ConcernedMom
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Billygoat
I don't really think CoC will help this man. He's a little young to appreciate the details of something that far in the history of his religion. But I applaud the efforts of making him think on his own about how the religion's actions don't match their words. That is really what made me get out and realize I found more love in the world than inside the walls of the Kingdum Halls.
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ConcernedMom
I try not to directly criticize their beliefs to him...I'm afraid it would open the door to his parents passing on their propaganda to my daughter. I do give the information to my daughter and she passes it on to her boyfriend when it comes up. That way, she is also prepared for anything that might come up when she is with his family (for example: "You get better medical care if you refuse blood." "There is no need to go to university--this system is almost over.") She has spent a lot time lately explaining our family's Christmas traditions. If it weren't for a freak snowstorm Christmas day, he would have come for dinner (Jehovah's intervention???) Mostly, I try to just show him that us "worldly" folk aren't evil lol.