Personal Pain - -
Personal Pain comes in many different shapes, sizes and forms. It has many names like ?issues?, ?baggage?, ?events?, ?thorns?, ?Demons? and ?road bumps? and yes it?s even been called ?life?.
Recent events have shed more light into the complexity that is associated with being a Jehovah?s-Witness.
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This isn?t about any one person on the boards or off ? it?s just a general observation from a person that was never a J-dub. If what I say matches who you are ? my apologies ? not my intention.
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It?s bad enough that there is pain in life and we all have our own select ways of dealing with it. However being a JW leaves you without certain tools to help you deal with the situation. Then again it?s not just JW?s that have this problem in general. Its bad enough that society as a whole places a huge burden on ?keeping it to yourself? but it appears that because being a JW ? you?re not allowed to even talk about it. You know keep it in the family or don?t wash your dirty laundry in public. I heard of stories that when someone was feeling pain, that to not worry about it and to consol with elders and that were able to speak on behalf of Jehovah. Put your trust in Jehovah ? as Jehovah will provide. Of course, some of us can deal with pain like the rain and just except it, do what we can and move on. While some have a lot harder time dealing with it. Its not easy facing pain ? however you describe pain in your life. Depending on the level of the pain, some become depressed and turn to alcohol to face it. Some see doctors and explain the pain but instead of getting to the root problem they prescribe a pill of it (note ? some issues do require appropriate medication ? point is ? doctors can be too quick to say take this pill instead of getting to the root cause).
Some pain leads to withdrawal, suspicion, abuse, aggression, accusation, interpretation and of course denial. Sometimes pain can be just a reflection of experiences based on the connection of being in an authoritative religion or relationship. Then as you begin to leave ? you get more pain from the lies, mistruths and fallacies you were told and completely believed in. The world around you that you?ve lived as ? is now completely turned upside down. Some deal with it as taking a nice hot shower on a cold day others drink and discount their life and make assumptions that the grass on the other side is just as painful and full of the same mistruths as they?ve currently lived.
From my stand point ? I see those that are leaving the Borg (as I call it ? no offense on those good souls that believe in their heart that what they are doing is pure no matter how miss-guided their intentions are) are seeing the real truth for the first time. It becomes painful to realize that the fear that was placed on you to conform and follow blindly is completely wrong. As one becomes open to new ideas, new versions and new truths ? your first gut feeling is at first a feeling of guilt. That feeling that you?re doing something wrong. Something to being told ?you?re succumbing to Satan?s views?. But as you sit there and analyze your feelings ? it turns in to anger and betrayal. When you conform to a certain belief you start to lose a sense of innovation in your mind. It?s normally called ?thinking outside the box? or ?what if?, it?s that kind of thinking that has both aided people/companies succeed and of course aided some people/companies fail. This type of thinking is what the governing body is worried about because as soon as you do think for yourself you are threatened with disfellowshipping. Whole families are torn apart because of this statement. If you don?t believe it this certain way then you?re out. No other religion is as extreme which is sad, although some families go the ?Don?t ask, don?t tell? approach.
As one becomes an ex-JW, you start to grow and learn about yourself and your life. I?ve seen a few of you and heard stories of great achievement, great new lives and sometimes some unfortunate circumstances that have lead to a parting of relationships. This sometimes can turn into more pain or a sense of loss or even a sense of no direction ?where do I go from here?. That is how the recruitment of new JWs begins or any other religion for that matter. It just so happens that Jehovah?s Witness have honed in this skill better then anyone else.
So why did I even think of writing this post. I?ve never seen such a coming together of people that are willing and wanting to feel better, to get educated and find answers to the life they?ve lived. Thus the transformation from being a Jehovah?s Witness to being an ex-JW to being an individual has begun. There have been many friends my wife and I have met and cherish deeply even those that we?ve yet to meet in person but are good friends on IM.
Personal pain does get easier with the right support ? I?m just glad that you all have found it here.
Savage