The Atheist and the Bear. (good joke;wrong forum)?

by Big Jim 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • Big Jim
    Big Jim

    Atheist and bear

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created.

    "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

    As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

    He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming down his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear, right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

    At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!...."

    Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.

    Even the river stopped moving.

    As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

    The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but could you perhaps make the bear a Christian?"

    "Very well," said the voice.

    The light went out.

    The river ran again.

    And the sounds of the forest resumed.

    And then the bear dropped his right paw... brought both paws together... bowed his head and spoke:

    "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful..."

  • reagan_oconnor
    reagan_oconnor

    oops..

    I read this wrong, thought that the first line was, "An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring the "accident of evolution" he had created."

    ...i.e., I thought this meant he'd just shit in the woods. Sorry!!

    Laughing anyway; this was good!

    Reagan

    I am the master of my fate/I am the captain of my soul.

  • julien
    julien

    A Christian died and saw a white light. He went toward the light and eventually arrived at the pearly gates.. God appeared and was about to speak when all of a sudden everything went black. Consciousness ceased. Back in the operating room the doctors noticed a brief spike of brain activity before the line went flat.
    "Time of death was 6:13".
    Approximately 10e17 years later the universe experienced heat death by reaching maximum entropy.

  • crownboy
    crownboy

    Doesn't surprise me coming from the Christain god.

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere
    Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.

    Too bad shit like that don't really happen 'eh?

    -An Atheist

  • SYN
    SYN

    But, is it reproduceable in a laboratory?

    Good one!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit