Please Help!

by whyamihere 7 Replies latest jw experiences

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  whyamihere

  I dont know how to exactly word this but I am having a problem and am needed of advice!

  My mother and I were talking and I was never intelligent or had deep information on the JW religion ever in my life. I was mainly a follower and thought it was the truth and never had the need to question anything as maybe some of you felt the same as I do and did. I basically just went along with everything!

  Anyway my mom and I were talking and she who believes a certain Elder in the congergation is a horrible man and thinks of him as a person who ruins the lives of people. She knows this from experience. However what I don't understand is how she can just live like that. Knowing bad things happen in the congergation and yet doesn't question. I don't know what to say to her. She says that she is fearful for me and my kids and says that we are given the chance of ever lasting life and worries for me and my kids because we don't go to meetings anymore. I understand why she feels that way. I told her that I know right from wrong and I will teach my kids that. I left it at that. I didn't want to get into it. However I don't know what to say to her that justifies my thoughts and feelings. I hear "New Light" alot. Like if there is a problem and I say that the "Society" changes all the time she gives me the "New Light" comment. Or if I say well this Edler does this. She says to me well "Jehovah's Holy Spirit" will weed out the bad in the congergation and we have to be patient! I think she just thinks that it is only our congergation that has problems.

  I am sick of hearing excuses that have no real answer! I don't know what to say to her that will make her think. I feel like going back to meetings to just make her happy and get her off my back. That would be lying to myself. I don't know what to say or think. Its getting so hard and so frustrating. Please anyone who can find the words for me or the info I need to make her think differently. Maybe I just need to make sure I am doing the right thing. I feel like leaving it alone and making up lies or excuses just so that maybe she will get off my back about it. I don't believe its the "truth" or the "GB" is divine because it is was then there would be no hiding or cover ups or changing. I guess I wished I was in a different position. I hate this. Growing up in a lie and finding out about it later and then starting all over again is hard. I don't want to loose my Mom or my family!

  Please if any advice you may have I would love to hear it!

  Brooke WI
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  SixofNine

  :I hear "New Light" alot. Like if there is a problem and I say that the "Society" changes all the time she gives me the "New Light" comment.

  Well one thing you can do, is let her know in no uncertain terms that you find that explanation intellectual hoowie and unacceptable. Even in the bible, the concept of "new light" involves revealing new information (hence the term "new"), not changing your mind about old information simply because time and progress revealed what a moron you were for believing your "old light". "Tell me mom, is it your position that god is a dumbass who can't figure out what He believes?"
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  Wild_Thing

  I think you are more intelligent than you give yourself credit for .... you are intelligent enough to see through their smoke. It is just that it is impossible to reason with someone who can only repeat lines from WT publications. They are like recordings ... and the recordings are distributed to all of the congregations because my mother says the same garbage ... verbatim! Or at least she did ... we don't discuss it anymore. Do these sound familiar?

  "It's not like this in all congregations."

  "Jehovah's organization is run by imperfect men."

  "We have to wait on Jehovah to clean his own household."

  "It doesn't matter, it's still the truth."

  There are a lot of wise people on here who can probably give you some good things to say to her, but my experience has been that it will not matter. It is like talking to a brick wall. You cannot reason with the unreasonable.

  I think it is admirable that you do not wish to have your kids grow up in the same lie that you grew up in. It is hard to shake the guilt with family throwing the same old tired JW lines at you, but eventually it loses its effectiveness and she will stop trying.
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  Aude_Sapere

  I don't believe its the "truth" ... because it is was then there would be no hiding or cover ups...

  I may choose to stick with some basic generalities and see how she responds. If she tries to deny, then you might just simply say: "But there *are* cover-ups, mom. There are."

  Trouble may be that she starts shunning you rather than pulling on you to attend. That's why I would probably just start with a few generalities. Maybe also tell her that you are concerned about shunning, feel it is terribly wrong and extremely unloving and you do not want to be pushed to the point that she feels she needs to stay away from her child and grandchildren.
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  AlmostAtheist

  You sound just a little unsure about your decision to be outside of the Jehovah's Witnesses organization. That's understandable, the indoctrination we all received from the meetings and other Witnesses was very, very strong. You can arm yourself with education. Read the book "Crisis of Conscience" (http://www.commentarypress.com, http://amazon.com or your library would have it) It's a bird's-eye view of the organization through the eyes of a former Governing Body member.

  Reason on the "truth". I did a write up on birthdays and why forbidding them doesn't make sense, please check it out: http://www.thebentinel.com/jw-birthdays.html I want to do a similar one on blood and other "easy" topics so people can quickly convince themselves that JW's don't have "the truth".

  Maybe on the wrong track here, forgive me if so. But if you've got any doubt that JW's are not the true religion, that will eat away at you in the form of fear and guilt. I hate to see that happen to anyone. Just because they have an answer for everything doesn't mean they have all the answers!

  Dave
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  BluesBrother

  A. A. made some great points which I second entirely...

  Your Mum's attitude is perfectly normal for a witness , especially a female one because they are taught to leave everything to Jehovah and allow Him to sort it out. I remember saying the same thing. I used to enjoy doing a public talk in which my illustration was of the Israelites in the wilderness. They could not see Moses, they might be a long way back down the line, they might have a rough section chief . But they just kept going, following the back end of their neghbours's camel - trusting that somewhere up ahead the Divine Power was showing Moses the way , because to go off into the wilderness would have meant certain death from thirst and hunger...... Well, it seemed a good illustration at the time, I did not appreciate then that I was feeding the controlling mentality of the borg. (sorry)

  For your Mum, I guess one has to work out what makes her tick. Is she likely to be swayed by an emotional argument, or a reasoning one ? Then prepare a discussion, like a return visit.. There is plenty of good ammunition on the net . But at the end of the day she has to make the change herself

  Never think you are helping by considering going back. Returning to falsehood is just not possible.If you pretended then you would be living a lie .. Good luck!
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  Winston Smith :>D

  I was never intelligent or had deep information on the JW religion ever in my life.
  

  Brooke WI

  Brooke, don't beat yourself up girl. You are smart enough to stay out of the JW's, so my opinion is that you're smarter than most. At least 6 million+ people that I know.

  Just because you can not put your thoughts into words doesn't make you unintelligent. Staying a JW knowing what you know would.

  Q: Of all the Earthly Organizations that Jehovah has used from the beginning of time, what organization still has Jehovah's approval to this day, besides JW's?

  Does Adam & Eve, the first marriage performed by Jehovah, still have his approval? Do the 12 tribes of Israel still have his approval? How about when the 10 tribes of Samaria splintered off, do they still have God's approval? The two tribes of Judah, they have the temple in Jerusalem and the presence of Jehovah in the Most Holy, do they still have Jehovah's approval? How about the Jews in Jesus' day? The Jews were the first to be blessed with hearing Christ's words; do they still have Jehovah's approval? Or how about the first century Christian Congregation, did that remain in Jehovah's approval down to our day?

  Q: Since not one of these organizations that were blessed by Jehovah could retain his approval, why do you think Jehovah's Witnesses today are beyond losing Jehovah's approval?

  Q: Could JW's do anything they want today and never lose Jehovah's approval? Are Jehovah's Witnesses "once saved, always saved?"

  Q: Could JW's be guilty of stumbling right hearted ones from failed promises ?
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  metatron

  You must think about outcomes!

  Is it realistic to think that your mother could be influenced to eventually lose faith in the Watchtower ?

  Perhaps she is too old - or 'invested' to do so.

  On the other hand, you may be able to gradually get her to think clearly.

  By what authority does the Watchtower tell people what to do? They claim their authority is because they

  are "faithful and discreet". If they stop behaving in a faithful or wise way, they have no authority to direct anyone.

  If they allow corrupt men to flourish in congregations, if they make false predictions about the future - and so on,

  then they are NOT faithful or discreet - and no one should listen to them ( Deu. 18)

  metatron