Dear Ros,
I just finished skimming over a past topic posted by you re "what drives x-jw's to atheism?"
Last year (still active JW then) I briefly lurked on H2O and found your posts refreshing, informative, well-articulated and compassionate. Now that I'm no longer in borg-control and can read whatever I want on the www whenever I want with unmitigated abandon, I am glad to be able to benefit from your points of view.
The reason I am addressing this to you is I've been wondering for years about why I'm such a weirdo and would appreciate your feedback.
Weirdo: (no definition available nor desired)
Twenty-some years ago I got completely enmeshed in a cult called the Gainesville church of christ. After four years, I came to my senses and literally had to pack what I could stuff into my car and leave in the middle of the night - I knew I could not handle the pressure tactics if encountered (being DF'd feels like Mister Rogers' giving you a hug compared these guys' guerilla manipulations). This cult evolved into the Boston Movement, led by a Bill Gates-clone named Kip McKeen, and is now known as "The International churches of christ" with infestations around the world. The control tactics they employ NOW are - well, it is bone-chilling. (ExIcoc.org is one site FYI)
Seven years later, there I was again completely captivated by another controlling organized religion (a milder, gentler one, but the longer I'm out, the more confounded I am by my suceptibility). You have mentioned that you had experience in a fundamentalist organization prior to your adventure with the WTS. Could you share which one/type?
I have a tremendous thirst for information about "God" (Creator, Explainer of all inexplicable, Almighty powerful one who will vanquish all evil (= child abusers, to me) and bring justice.... ). Having experienced early childhood in the home of a totally wacked high-degree mason, I guess I could add "occult" religious experience to my resume.
I will never ever again be able to engage with or participate in another "organized" religion; I do wonder about, however, the following (this is the SHORT list):
1. Why was I (presumeably still am..) so suceptible to these ultimately human-spirit-anhiliating clusters of people? We cannot all live in a vacuum; we (generic term! Please, no offense intended) seek like-minded people for companionship and self-identifying experiences; most people seem to yearn for some kind of construct within which to organize our thoughts and beliefs... what alternatives are there other than anarchy/chaos?
2. Perhaps this belongs in a separate forum or thread, but does my exposure to chronic childhood abuse mean I'm destined for live to just be "wired" such that I'm just hosed, no matter what, in terms of being able to "reason" (logically, or any other way).
3. If there is a god who wants to be worshiped, why doesn't he/she/it make such a thing accessible or discernable? (I know you or anyone can't answer that one. I just threw it in for fun.) Well, maybe Fred Hall will respond to that and I would enjoy reading it, actually.
I'm continuing to really enjoy and benefit from certain individuals who post here. Mulan, Orange blossom, jurs, larc, Amazing, Tina, Prisca, Esther, Francois,Mommy, Roaming Feline, Simon, sixofnine, to name the few of many, thank you for willingness to share your thoughts on this board.
Anyway. If you are inclined to respond to any of the above, ros, I'd be grateful.
lauralisa
Klueless Klass