Only a few more months to go and I will cross over into the 30 and over club. THere are some things I have learned along the way...the jws will never go away....the confusion of being an xjw never goes away...parenting is so much different without the jw component...sometimes my 3 yr old daughter is the wisest person I know, as childish as that sounds...Xmas starts to finally make sense, through her eyes...birthdays finally start to have meaning with each new year adding onto the experience of the year before...
I also have finally gleamed something rather painful as well...I will never really have my parents back as the way it used to be. I think that I have finally come to more of a grip with that. I have tried to contact my mother to no avail as the only contact I am allowed to have with her is through my father or if I have my daughter with me. I have come to terms with that. Or at least as much as I am able to come to terms with that. 30, damn, who would have thought Ida made it this far. I am disfellowshipped but I am free...I had a lot of friends who fell and were df'd and some didnt make it and some went back to the thing that they knew and became jws again. I have been down, homeless, broke, starving, strung out, wrung out and rail thin but I am not there anymore. I have worldly people, family, friends, coworkers that helped and a strong sense of self preservation.
30...hmph...wonder what the next 25 years holds for me...I think that I will have earned the rights to be somewhat at peace and somewhat stable. 30...wow I actually made it...more or less...not til april but for the most part I have lasted longer than I anticipated...(chuckles)
30 years around this planet
just kicking around in and out
stuck in a jw box for 17 or em
spent the remainder living balls out
survived..made it this far...
must be doing somethin right
maybe I got some got some good karma
to guide my life in flight
those coins I gave the homeless guy
the burger you gave to that kid
all the little things in life count
to some end of what you did
I've done 30 years coming up on
and life's been up and around
but im still here...you hear ME
course not..jw's never hear the train sound...