"Shoot the Pipes" Hester: Another story.

by Duncan 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • Duncan

    This is another Hester story, sparked in my memory by news coverage of the US election.

    I first wrote about Hester last year, in a thread entitled ? What?s the stupidest thing a JW ever said?? here:


    Hester was responsible for the legendary ?Shoot the pipes? comment. Do you know, I still, from time to time, get e-mails and PM?s about that post from people who have just come across it for the first time.

    Anyway, to recap, there was this sister in our congregation ? an Elder?s wife ? sister Hester K who was a great source of amusement and stories. Hester was really a lot of things ? she was domineering, pious, utterly loyal to the Watchtower, interfering, strict and righteous. But, what she was mostly, above all other things, was that she was RIGHT. She knew best, she knew more than anyone. She never let her complete, utter and obvious lack of knowledge on any subject act as a bar or hindrance. No matter was too small or trifling for Hester not to correct you on it . She ALWAYS knew best.

    So, this one time, there was this young sister in our book study who had staying with her another girl, a daughter of some witnesses from the US, on holiday in England for a month. Both these girls had joined us for service this weekend.

    After, we were drinking tea in Hester?s living room.

    ?So, Carol, what part of America are you from?? asked Hester.

    ?New York, originally, but last summer, our dad moved us all to Iowa?

    ?Oh, Carol, while you?re here, I can see we?ll have to teach you how to say these things using the English pronunciation?

    ?Excuse me??

    ?In England, Carol, we pronounce it: Ohio?

    Hester had shot the pipes again.

    Duncan (the one-post-a-month guy)

  • Englishman

    Excellent, Duncan!

    I must have been absent for your earlier post. Super stuff!

    Englishman. Blathers umpteen times a day class.

  • Wolfgirl

    LOL! As someone who used to live in Ohio, I find that funny. :) And my husband absolutely cannot say Ohio unless I tell him to say it like a Cockney; then it comes out sounding like O-I-O. Otherwise, he ends up saying O-HI-HO, to the amusement of everyone around.

    We had a sister like that in our area. Very domineering and pushy, always right, and you had BETTER listen to her or else. One day, I finally snapped and told her off in the middle of the KH after a meeting, in front of loads of people. She never ever bothered me again. :D

  • hillary_step


    LOL...Reading that little tale really bought a smile to my face this morning. Being aquainted with the person in question makes it even more hilarious, as this exactly typified her blissful ignorance.

    After your recent visit which rekindled many memories, I amused myself by remembering FW and how he used to put his feet in plastic bags, then into his shoes during his winter Pioneer sessions. Many a time I followed him squishing and squelching from door to door, with passers by frowning as they tried to figure out what that strange noise was.

    Take care Duncan - HS

  • bebu

    Thanks Duncan! My husband and I cracked up over your 2 stories. Shooting the pipes might become a phrase we use around here.

    I'm intending to read your other stories.


  • Odrade

    OMG! My mom used to do that feet in bags in shoes thing too! LMAO!!!

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