Hooray, you're getting married so that you are not fornicating anymore!!

by outbutnotdown 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  outbutnotdown

  My best friend just called me and told me that his 18 year-old sister, a JW but not yet baptized, is getting married very soon. She has had a boyfriend, a JW not baptized either and they have been having sex regularly. Her mother sent her 2000 miles away to try to prevent this from happening anymore. Within no time she was back and "getting into trouble" again.

  My buddy (raised in it but not a JW now), said his parents and sister are ecstatic that she is deciding to marry the guy, since then she won't be insulting Jehoober. I have never met the guy, but my friend has told me stories about how controlling he is. IMO he will be abusive to her to the extreme, if not physically, at least emotionally and probably financially abusive.

  The moral of their JW story: God likes you better if you subject yourself to years of abuse than if you have sex before marriage.

  How sad!!!!!!

  Brad
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  blondie

  Brad, how is marrying someone raised a JW but not baptized any different than marrying someone who has never been around the WTS? Are they both getting baptized before the happy day?

  A poster on JWD was told that her son's marriage to a not yet baptized person raised in in JW family could not take place in the KH and the congregation boycotted the wedding even when it wasn't at the KH because it was considered the same as not marrying "in the Lord" and "insulting Jehoober."

  Blondie
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  outbutnotdown

  Brad, how is marrying someone raised a JW but not baptized any different than marrying someone who has never been around the WTS?

  Blondie,

  You're kidding right?

  Neither are baptized. Neither will get baptized before the marriage (no time). Since neither are baptized, they can get married in the hall, despite what they have been doing. But yeah, like you said if one was baptized already, the other would have to get baptized before they could get married in the hall.

  But back to your question. If neither one ever had anything to do with the WTBTS they wouldn't be getting married so quickly. Regardless of a person's view of whether people should have sex before marriage or not, after the act has happened, it is sad that the solution to the problem is to go ahead and get married.

  My friend's parents have made it very clear that they do not like the guy. They even recognize that he is controlling and mean to her. They didn't want her to see him even BEFORE they were "getting into trouble". Yet now, it's "Go ahead and get married", because to them, in that JW mentality it's more important to FOLLOW THE RULES than it is to find a good partner in life.

  Sad indeed. I feel really bad for his sister. If/When she does marry him I will help her in anyway I can as far as making it work, but I fear that she is going to be a very miserable girl. She just turned 18, after all.

  Brad
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  Mutz

  I reckon 95% of JW marriages are simply so the couple can have sex without the guilty conscience. I've lost count of the number of sisters I had met at one DC only to see a year later with husband and six children in tow (slight exaggeration re the kids). :)
  I am so pleased I never ever felt the urge to get hitched while I was in.
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  blondie

  Since neither are baptized, they can get married in the hall, despite what they have been doing.

  Brad, that is not a foregone conclusion. People who are studying but not yet baptized are always routinely turned down for having the wedding at the KH in this area. A brother may perform the wedding but only if there is no objection among the rank and file.

  I take it none of the elders are aware of the sexual activity of this couple or are at least concealing it. You can tell that God is not "readl" to them. Big surprise.

  Blondie
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  Poztate

  Since neither are baptized, they can get married in the hall, despite what they have been doing.

  You must belong to the most liberal congregation in Canada. In my area there would be NO WAY they would be married in the hall.The very fact that they were not baptised would disqualify them,let alone doing the "naughty"
• 

  LittleToe

  Good post Brad, however I'm with Blondie on this. Before the Hall is allowed to be used, the couple is usually asked some intimate questions. Of course they could well lie through their teeth and call it Theocratic Warfare
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  willyloman

  Before the Hall is allowed to be used, the couple is usually asked some intimate questions

  That's the procedure I'm familiar with. Very little chance they'd get married in any KH I ever attended.