We stopped by Satan's place. He says "Hi."

by kwintestal 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  kwintestal

  At least growing up I was told it was Satan's house. We just made the long cross-Canada drive to attend my wife's grandfather's funeral.

  My wife has had somewhat strained relations with her parents since she became a JW, 8 years ago, and it seemed that this visit was going to be more of the same. One of the first things her mom said, was that they were having a Mass for the funeral in a church. I think she expected that my wife wouldn't go. At first she wasn't comfortable with the idea. She didn't say anything, but I could tell.

  So we talked about love, God's love, respect for God, and respect for her family. In the end she thought that (in her words) "It was a matter of concience." to attend the service at the church.

  You know that really got me thinking. How many JW's don't go to support, love and respect their family members and close friends because they don't want to step foot in a church. It's sad really. I went and I didn't see one person become converted, and not one person asked me if I wanted a bible study afterward the service either.

  Would a God of love be offended if you go to remember someone that you love who's died? I doubt it.

  Kwin

  P.S. On the plus side of this we got to see our family that we haven't seen for 1 1/2 years. Was nice to see them all. My wife and her parents seem to be getting along better too.
• 

  Happy Guy :)

  I share your opinion about the God of love...in fact that was the reasoning that prevented me from ever being converted to the JW beliefs. So many of their practices are unloving or, in my opinion, unchristian.
• 

  Cicatrix

  While JW, I never hesitated to attend funerals or weddings of family members that were held in churches. It certainly rendered me part of the "fringe" class in my congregation, but it was worth it it in the end.
  
  There were some in my congregation who made a great show out of not attending funerals and weddings in churches.It was kind of funny that when one of their loved ones died and a non-Witness family member refused to attend the memorial service at the Kingdom Hall, they were incensed by the "persecution." I was amused that when it was them, they were "honoring Jehovah," but when their equally religious family member did the same, it was "persecution for Jehovah's sake."
  
  It was just one more incident on my list of wake-up calls;)
• 

  Will Power

  Hi Kwin

  for a minute by the title, I thought you meant my place LOL!

  Was this your wife's parent's church? I only ask cause their parish priest is my cousin. We grew up together. He presided at his own mother's funeral (my aunt) 2 weeks ago. It was a beautiful experience.

  So was this your first time? How did YOU feel? Did you feel guilty or "spooked" at all? Were the kids allowed to go?

  Will P
• 

  kwintestal

  Hey there WP, no it wasn't your house. HA! It was her grandparents church, I'm not even sure where her parents go. Both the kids went too, the oldest was a bit concerned at first and after said she didn't want to go back because of all the standing and then sitting again (lol), but the little one didn't care. It was the first time I was in a Catholic church. I didn't think it was that spooky. I was going to go and eat the cookie too, but I wasn't Catholic so I couldn't, I could just be blessed, so I thought "What's the point." Wifey commented on the amount of ceremony in the mass during it. I think it was kinda a "OMG, look at it all." But I quickly pointed out the amount of ceremony that God required from the Isrealites in the temple and the High Priest's requirements. She didn't think of that.

  Kwin
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  HappyDad

  Cicatrix said exactly what I did while a dub....amd an elder dub at that....

  While JW, I never hesitated to attend funerals or weddings of family members that were held in churches. It certainly rendered me part of the "fringe" class in my congregation, but it was worth it it in the end.

  My then PO and his wife attended his aged mother's funeral at a church and sat out in their car during the service so as not to get 'contaminated' by satan's teachings. His whole family was in an uproar.

  HappyDad
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  Special K

  Hi Kwin

  Sounds like this all turned out okay.

  I look at the results of all this as a BIG plus for your wife.

  Obviously the funeral was far enough away from her home congregation that she didn't get drop in visits from elders etc who would pressure her as to her "not" attending the funeral.

  Sounds like she weighed it all out in her own mind with some positive feed back from her husband (you) as to what would really be wrong with attending the funeral in the church.

  Kind of a look at the pros for attending,.. respect, love, support of other family..etc.

  and she made a good decision based on love and what felt right to her. A big step in freeing the mind from the J.W.'s where decisions are made after forking through all the WT publications and calling several elders.

  I remember the first Catholic funeral I went too after exiting the J.W.s' . I too thought it was quite interesting and a bit weird. It was all the standing up and sitting down then standing up and sitting down. Anyways, I wasn't there to worship or be converted but just to support the family and friends of the deceased.

  all the best Kwin

  Special K
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  kwintestal

  Sounds like she weighed it all out in her own mind with some positive feed back from her husband (you) as to what would really be wrong with attending the funeral in the church.

  I wasn't there to worship or be converted but just to support the family and friends of the deceased.

  That about sums it up Special K. She really wasn't sure at first, but she really wanted closure, and that's how she got it. When her other grandfather died a couple of years ago, we weren't in a position to head back for the funeral. She still says that it seems he's not really gone. I think that was a big factor in it too. Her mom and dad weren't sure if we were going to go or not either because it was a Mass. They were happy when they found out we were, and her mom privately thanked both of us afterwards.

  We got home and my mom called, (a JW) and the first thing she asked was "Did you go? But wasn't it in a church?" But I guess what can you expect, she also asked "Didn't you find it ackward?" when she found out we visited with my DF'd sister. "Um, no mom. I grew up with her, she's my sister remember???" Then the conversation went downhill from there, but that's another story.

  Kwin
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  Special K

  Hi again Kwin

  Sounds like you got most of the flack.

  It's funny how J.W.'s through their programing change what is natural and normal, like going to a family members funeral into that it should feel "awkward"and wrong. Maybe it's because of that programming that they as J.W's don't think they are going to die? and of course as you mentioned you went in Satan's house. You NASTY boy. LOL

  I find it awkward to go to any funeral (most people do). I think your wife is right. It brings a sense of closure.

  Interesting that your mom chastised you for talking to your sister.

  Sounds like your mom might have had a list waiting to hit you up with when you got back home.

  Special K