problems with jw daughter-in-law

by QCA1 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  QCA1

  hello to everyone

  i haven't been here in awhile and i'd like to say hi once again.

  I have written what i am about to tell once posted it and it disappeared,must have hit the wrong button.So here i go again.

  Over a period of time my grandson who is 15 has been making regular contact to my youngest son (who is his uncle)they talk about what teens talk about,football and music,Cal my grandson has also been allowed to stay over once in a while,which i might add surprised me a little,you know staying with his worldly Gran, His mum is a jw and my eldest son Cals Dad is almost one you could say.

  Anyway since Cal has been staying over at our house he has opened up about a lot of things none that were instigated by me i must add.He said he dosen't want to be a jw he hates it and his mum and dad have been hitting him quite hard.I believe him because his mum has always been heavy handed since he was a young baby,i did threaten her once after i heard she had knocked Cal to the floor hitting him when he was about 3yrs because he said ' oh God ' has kids do sometimes,my young daughter was there at the time and she told me. Not long after that they left the village,after sometime normality resumed with our family and we got back on speaking terms.

  Cal has always been rebellious and i know his mum has always hit him and now he is 15 he is questioning more and fighting back so i quess he is in more trouble.Then about a month ago my young son had a distressing phone call from Cal he was sobbing and asking if he could come and stay he had some clothes packed so i spoke with Cal and asked if he had been hit again and he said yes very hardbecause he forgot to say a prayer before the meal and his mum lashed out at him. I said he could stay and i would pick him up.His mum was out of the house at the time and she came back and caught him speaking to us the line went dead and i was so upset.Cals dad had also been hitting him which i found shameful as he has not been brought up this way.

  At that moment i rang child-line for advice and as i was being given it Cals dad turned up,Cals mum must have phoned him as he was in the area,i realised i had to confront him with this,i asked why he and his wife were beating up on their child and he said it's nothing to do with you we will hit him if we want, again i asked why in a very calm manner, he said he'd been hit today because he wouldn't eat his dinner,i kept my cool and said could i help with Cal perhaps he needs a break away for awhile,but he wouldn't have it and said to me mother you are boring me and drove off.

  A few days later i phoned to speak with Cal the excuse was he isn't in,my young son has had no phone calls from him as Cal used to phone regular. When Cal came to stay he said his mum keeps on about armaggedon and that if Cal dosen't conform he will die,Cal said to me Nan i don't believe this, so now i have no contact what so ever with Cal or his brothers and i don't know what to do next,is there any advice out there as how to proceed with this i adore my grandkids they are my life,please help.

  regards qca1
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  DaCheech

  Advice, just tell him to play along until he is 18, but in the meantime do not get baptized!
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  Mary

  Cal he was sobbing and asking if he could come and stay he had some clothes packed so i spoke with Cal and asked if he had been hit again and he said yes very hardbecause he forgot to say a prayer before the meal and his mum lashed out at him.

  Oh my god, she sounds like a pscho-bitch from hell!! Your grandson NEEDS to get away from them NOW. Are there any non-Dub family members that he could stay with? Family Services should be contacted as far as I'm concerned. Any mother who would hit her teenage son for forgetting to say a prayer is mentally unstable, a control freak and she should be charged with child abuse. The teenage years are difficult enough without an overzealous religious nut case trying to beat their son into being part of "the Happiest People on Earth."

  Advice, just tell him to play along until he is 18

  You gotta be kidding? You think this poor kid should put up with another 3 years of beatings?
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  DaCheech

  I thought the WT was phasing out the "hitting/stick" things in these days

  I see people hitting their kids less these days in the KH families?
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  blondie

  I find that physical child abuse has not abated in general in society but increased. I think at the KH it has just gone underground more, done at home rather than freely at the KH.

  Biblical beating kills girl The parents accused of beating their 12-year-old daughter to death have told police they were meting out the biblical punishment of "40 lashes minus one, three times," detectives said Monday.
  
  By Maureen O'Donnell, Ana Mendieta and Annie Sweeney, Staff Reporters
  Chicago Sun-Times, November 13, 2001
  
  Constance Slack, a registered nurse at a children's hospital, gagged her daughter, Laree, while she was strapped down to a futon, police said. Her father, Larry Slack, then repeatedly hit the child with an inch-thick section of rubberized electrical cable filled with strands of wire, police said. She died of internal bleeding.
  
  "It was horrific,'' one seasoned police officer said.
  
  The parents were upset that Laree was being "uncooperative" after they ordered their chilldren to find a smock with credit cards inside Saturday night, police said. Larry Slack is a firm believer in corporal punishment, and he and his wife decided to administer discipline from the Bible, investigators said.
  
  "It was his attempt to teach his daughter about responsibility,'' Area 2 Sgt. Stan Salabura said.
  
  Both parents are devout Jehovah's Witnesses who home-schooled their six children, ages 8 to 17, police and neighbors said.
  
  "He was a strict person. Whenever he came out, the kids would straighten right up and pay attention to him,'' said a neighbor who didn't want to be identified.
  
  But friends were shocked by the allegations. "He was a very peaceful guy and a very smart person. And he was very religious," said the Rev. Wayne Lewis Jr., who attended Bible studies in the home. "The first time we met he was trying to convert me, but I am a Baptist minister.'"
  
  The Slack home on South Brandon stood empty Monday, calm, with no traces of the tragedy. The family's two cars were parked outside in the 7900 block. Along the stairway to the second floor were a training manual for Jehovah's Witnesses, stapled sheets with math problems, a grill, a basketball hoop and a Domestic Violence Safety Plan issued by the Cook County state attorney's office.
  
  The Slacks were a quiet family who stayed away from their neighbors, hidden behind a 6-foot-high wooden fence that Larry Slack built to replace a chain-link one.
  
  Larry Slack, 42, is a 23-year employee of the CTA who was known as a "good machinist and a hard worker,'' Salabura said. Constance Slack, also 42, is believed to work at La Rabida Children's Hospital, he said.
  
  Both parents have been charged with first-degree murder and also aggravated battery of a child for the alleged beating of their 8-year-old son, also on Saturday night.
  
  The Slack's five other children all showed indications of physical abuse. They were taken into state custody and placed with relatives, authorities said. Larry Slack was treated at Advocate Christ Hospital and Medical Center Sunday night after allegedly attempting to kill himself while turning himself in to police at Area 2 detective headquarters. He was in the Central District lock-up Monday.
  
  In a statement Monday, the Slack family said it was cooperating with police.
  
  "We loved Laree dearly,'' said Leroy Slack, who identified himself as Larry Slack's uncle and a family spokesman. "We're very disturbed over the circumstances surrounding her death."
  
  Contributing: Cathleen Falsani
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  QCA1

  thankyou for your advice i appreciate it.

  Mary i have come very close to doing this, if i call my son or his wife i'm not sure what kind of attitude i will get,if they refuse to speak to me or not allow Cal to speak to me i may go down this road.

  I forgot to mention that i actually phoned the london jw office and told them about this,they said well we don't know the situation you should discuss it with your family,i said i have just told you my Grandson has been hit because he didn't say a prayer and he has been hit over a long period of time,they wouldn't discuss it.I did say to my son he is a teenager and we have to learn to understand them and listen to them.When Cal stayed over and he talked about his life as a jw i made him promise he would not tell his parents we had this conversation because of the consequences, he understood. I also said to Cal there was lots of things i couldn't discuss with him about the jws,you know, what i know about the religion because he needed to find out for himself i never said anything i shouldn't have,whilst i understood his frustration i asked that he try understand why his mum is like she is,and i know that is hard when you feel restricted and afraid.

  Dacheech the comment you made also crossed my mind,the age these days is 16 as i am to often reminded by my youngest son when he gets cocky,Cal has said many times when i'm 16 i'm out of there.

  Thanks again qca1
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  Happy Guy :)

  I don't think your post or thread disappeared. This is just a very active and fast moving website. If you click on "active topics" and go back a couple of pages you will find not only your original thread but many more responses to it. It is located at http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/78826/1.ashx
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  CeriseRose

  I had posted on one of your other posts...while you're in this post, click on your name and go topic history or post history and you'll see it.

  I've grabbed the link for you with the other comments as well as mine. Hope it works for you!

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/78826/1278372/post.ashx#1278372