Howdy everyone, I must start by saying "thank you"for posting all this information on the JW way of life in here, I appreciate everything that you guys are putting out there, both for your own use and to help others like me. I've posted a couple times, but mostly I'm here to learn, but now it's time for me to ask questions!
I am not a JW, I was involved with one for several years, and we have a son. Never married, (and I have to say thank God for that). It was not until our relationship was over and he was married (within 6 months) that I learned what an idiot I was for so long. Ok, maybe that's harsh, but I didn't realize what I was in for until after my heart was broken. Cheesy yes, but true. He was not "practicing" while with me, at least not that I was aware of at the time, and it wasn't until after our son was born that his guilt kicked in big time and he went & got himself a nice JW wife, and pleased his parents, and whatever group of people he sits with several times a week. I don't begrudge him his beliefs, but now he's really shown me what it's all about. Should have paid attention to the signs before huh??
We have shared custody of our son, when I get him home after visiting with his dad, he tells me that dad says he can't pray, that birthdays are bad, etc. Ok, I can handle this to a point, and but I'm wondering if any of you out there have had similar problems? And what did you do? My son is only 3..its not like he's old enuff to make these decisions for himself (yet) and before the crazy JW came back out of my ex, we talked about exposing our son to both religions (I'm protestant) and letting him come up with his own decision when he's old enuff. Naive yes, I realize that now! I know he won't do this, and there is a court battle, again in my future. I do not plan to allow my son to be exposed anymore than he is now, but I need some advise on how to approach his father (who rarely speaks to me and won't do it without the new wifey present) on the subject, let him know I won't allow it. I should include the fact that I've tried, so many times since we broke up, to talk to him about things that are important, he shrugs me off and does what he wants anyway. We've been to court, he's been ordered to do certain things (and not do certain things) and he still does what he wants. I know talking to him and trying to reason are wasting my time, but my attorney says that's the route I have to take for now. In the meantime all I can do is express to my son that his dad has different beliefs and that it's ok to pray, etc. I just don't want my son to be a stark raving lunatic before I can rectify the situation. I should mention that for 3 weeks now I've asked for time with him (the idiot) to discuss this, and he keeps putting me off. Says he won't talk to me without his wife present, and that's not a good idea, she tends to answer for him, and that makes me crazy!
Any suggestions?? He's pretty smart, but his dad diciplines with fear you know and so knowing what I know now reading all these posts he's already afraid of making his dad mad.
thanks for listening!