Recovered memories

by recoveringjw 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • recoveringjw

    While I was writing about my time in the "borg", I remembered a time that my mother had been disfellowshipped. I don't remember why it had happened. I am not sure that anyone ever told me. I am curious now and it wouldn't make me feel any different about my mom to find out why it happened. She has never told me because I never asked. Do I have any right to ask her about what happened, 22 years later??

    Perhaps I should let well enough alone and just forget about it.


  • Balsam

    Ask her, perhaps she will be tell you. My ex-husband was disfellowshipped for 2 years while my oldest son was a little guy for adultery. He never wanted my sons to know about it. I always felt they should know it because someone will surely mention it someday in their presence. Well when they were teens he continued to refuse to tell them, so I did. He was not happy about it but they had heard it from others at the hall, and had wondered. It opened the way for some honest talk, which we really needed. Hope your Mom will feel free to tell you, could bring you much closer to each other if she will.


  • kls

    If it were my kids coming to me i would tell them but i think it depends how close your mother and you are . You could start out by saying." mom wasn't there a time that something happened when i was such an age". Then see what her reaction is. If she has the look of horror on her face just leave it but maybe she has no problem telling. You know your mom so it is hard to say but remember what ever it is it could be very shocking or it could be something very trivial.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Yeah I agree. It really does depend on how close you are to her, and how comfortable you feel in bringing the subject up. If it were me, I'd tell my children.

    No harm in asking, but be prepared for your mother being reluctant to talk.


  • recoveringjw

    Thanks. I am pretty close to her, but I don't know that much about her life......she is pretty closed down when it comes to her past. But, I guess it can't hurt to ask her about it.

  • nb-dfed

    My husband didn't know his father had been disfellowshipped until after our marriage. He was afraid to ask, but finally did. He had been disfellowshipped b/c he married a df'ed woman. (My husband's mother was his thrid wife.) His father was a very understanding man, very non judgemental. Knowing his history helped undstand why he was so tolerant and wise.

Share this