I have a hope, but it's still hard to cope.Sitting in my room alone, depressed about,where do I go from here? From my eyes there are fallen tears.
My mind is now Idle. I'm coming to the point that I don't care. I try
to meditate on all the bible promises I may Know, but my mind and my heart won't adjust back to the hope I know.
I have lost the love for Jehovah I had at first. I feel hurt, I feel life is something I didn't ask for or deserve. In my imperfect state, I try to do the right thing, But im tired now, I want to go the wrong way. Im missing meetings every week. The hope I first had, is now something of the past. Today I'm totally inactive, the world looks so good, it seems so attractive, being in the truth compared to being in the world is so dull. The end is never coming, if it is, I have enough time to enjoy the world and make it back in time. If I don't it's because I don't care, If I live or die.
I been in the world separated and alienated from Jehovah for a long time. Then I finally realize satan had blinded me from the light of life, then jehovah's day came like a theft in the night.
I had tears in my eyes
I was about to die
Why couldn't I Keep the faith and do what is right ?
WHY COULDN'T I ?
my name is Bernard Lovell Jr. I was a Faithful Jehovah witness for 11 years of my life. I auxilary pioneer off and on and served as a ministrial servant. I did the accounts and gave instruction talks until ONE DAY I question my material that was the begining of my awakening. As you can tell by my poem I was and did considered myself Brainwashed when I wrote it and will be posting other poems I've written while a jw to prove the mind control. I disassociated myself two years ago. Im happy and at peace with myself. My wife and two kids still go to the meetings With the false belief of the the doctrine I once had in my mind WHY COULD'T I. FEAR AND GUILT DOES NOT CONTROL MY ACTIONS ANYMORE NOR SHOULD YOU EVER LET IT CONTROL YOURS.WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE AND WHY ? IS YOUR KEYS TO MENTAL FREEDOM GET THE FULL GRIP ON WHAT THE TRUTH REALLY IS FOR YOURSELF BY YOURSELF THROUGH STUDY OF EVERY BOOK PRINTED TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS IN YOUR LIFE. IGNORANCE IS YOUR GREATEST ENEMY AND TRUE KNOWLEDGE FOR SELF IS YOUR GREATEST POWER.
don't be a victim of mind control get the facts for yourself and keep your soul on earth alive until you die. love bernard BEEN THERE DONE THAT