..and it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be, but it wasnt great either. I wouldve normally avoided going to anything dub related, but my best friend had her babyshower on sat. night and invited practically everyone i know, so i had to go. I was a lil nervous cuz i hadnt seen everyone altogether for over a year but everyone was surprisingly receptive. They all thought i looked nice, which was good cuz you how they all believe when you leave the borg you become "ugly" outside and inside. I looked pretty good () and felt that way too cuz i thought oh well i can still associate with everyone but dont necesserally have to be one of them. My friend looked great and i was so happy to see her, My mom and brother were there as well. Towards the end of the party the questions came.."did you go to the convention, what congregation do you belong to", and my personal favorite "oh i thought you left, is it true or not" with menancing eyes..i tried to avoid the subject whenever it came up but ended up just making everyone happy by saying oh yes i still attend to so and so congo and i went to the this and that convention..and then whoever i was conversating with would go..oh ok good i thought you were gone..i would just roll my eyes and think why am i lying. i think i did it cuz it was my friends babyshower and i didnt want to have any uncomfortable moments. i wanted to have a good time and make sure she did as well, so i thought it better to avoid altercations. i did feel a lil nostalgic i have to admit, some of my girlfriends from growing up were there and we were all pretty close so they were shocked to see me again after i disappeared for a year..As the party ended (pretty early of course) i called a cab and went home, thinking i wish i could be honest with them, but i honestly dont think theyll ever accept me for who i really am..which is a normal 23 year old who lives her life the way she wants to..I know im not wrong but i felt so lousy having to take off from the party being dishonest with eveyone...how could i handle the situation otherwise?
Went to a j-dub party over the weekend...
by betty boop 3 Replies latest social relationships
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logansrun
Reminds me of the time I went to a JW party....
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/64267/1.ashx
Bradley
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codeblue
Betty, I really understand how you feel!!! oh so well...
Although I don't live near any of my JW family......I had a recent family reunion, and they met my new hubby (also fading like me). Before we went I asked him to not mention anything that we learned, as it had been 5 years since I had seen any of them. Well he blabbed a few things and 2 months later I got a Nazi hitler interrogation from one of them and I didn't even say anything to her!!!
Since then, I had to scramble with the other jw family members and "lie" like you. I know all too well, if I say I am doing nothing the 20 questions will come and possibly be shunned like the one sister is doing to me (she thinks she is GOD)....
I feel bad about the "lying thing too"...........But I am at a point in my life that I don't think I can handle any more stress!!! It is hard enough to find out that for 36 years you have been in a "cult"....
Hang in there and find people that "feel" the same way you do..........and keep posting her for support (that's what this board is for).
many hugs to you,
codeblue
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4JWY
Betty ~
Knowledge is power. Keep taking it in and you will won't feel the need to be anything but honest about who and what you are. It's the truth that sets one free, right? It does - your OWN truth that you are finding and will one day happily fully embrace - it's like breathing, something that no one else can do for us.
All the best in getting there...
4JWY