by Taisha 8 Replies latest social relationships
I want to know why it is so bad for a JW to have a relationship with a non-believer. Maybe I already know the answer and maybe I am asking out of frustration. It kind of annoys me that a wonderful partnership is wasted and never realised fully.
As an athiest woman, I am happy to live amongst everyone else and accept other peoples opinions and beliefs - why don't JW's feel the same ?
Thanks in advance :o)
Taisha
because JWs are not themself (they are supposed to be clones - and got psycho issues related to that - they can't love and hate who they really feel like - they follow the WTBS orders and stupid rules) sorry this a short answer, you'll get better than that in a little time
Taisha, I take it you are not a JW?
JWs feel that they will be contaminated spiritually and religiously if they have a romantic relationship or close friendship with a non-JW perhaps even being tempted or pressured to do something sexually immoral. Of course, that is ridiculous since most JWs commit "immorality" with other JWs.
JWs have non-JW relatives, neighbors, workmates, acquaintances but are supposed to be actively trying to convert them to "The Truth" TM. That is why JWs are cautioned to not socialize with the non-JWs they study WT publications with (euphemistically called 'Bible' studies).
Blondie
Welcome to the forum Taisha
They follow the bible verse which states not to become unevenly yoked with a non-believer.
Truthfully it's the one thing they got right, in comparison to other religous unions a JW with anyone else but a JW is a relationship filled with sacrafice and heartache..often on both sides...there are exceptions as there are to every rule.
Thanks for all your replies... they were all appreciated
I suppose as an athiest I feel I see things more clearly... although anyone from any other religion would feel the same
Hmmm it is frustrating to think that I know we could live side by side harmoniously without this stupid rule... although I also know that I am a target for conversion.... arrgghh !! hehe I've got to laugh because laughing is all I've got left... it's an impossible situation but one which carries on in secret while we search for answers... but of course there will never be any answers... ho hum
Thanks for listening and responding so quickly...I think I will like it here !
Taisha
Taisha-
Hmmm it is frustrating to think that I know we could live side by side harmoniously without this stupid rule... although I also know that I am a target for conversion.... arrgghh !! hehe I've got to laugh because laughing is all I've got left... it's an impossible situation but one which carries on in secret while we search for answers... but of course there will never be any answers
I don't mean to give you too much hope, but there is some. When I met my husband I was a believing JW and he an athiest. Now we are two athiests happily married and glad we didn't make the wrong decision.
You never know what the future holds.
The elders may use the "unequally yoked" scripture as the excuse, but I think the real reason is that mixed marriages are hard to control. The local Kingdom hall could just as easily lose a member as manage to convert the spouse. Also, their wierder doctrines are open to "outsider" scrutiny in a mixed marriage. A regular convert may not notice until after baptism, since they sneak that stuff on you slowly.
I always took the "unequally yoked" scripture as good advice, not a command:
2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
There is some sense to it. Some people conduct their lives based on their worldview, their beliefs. A moral relativist might make different choices than one following the golden rule, for instance. A marriage of two people with different worldviews does create interesting dynamics, for sure.
Taisha,
Well JW do leave their religion behind in some cases. I did to be with my beloved lost love. It was a very had to do though. I caused me to examine what I believed over a period of a couple of years. The JW you are interested in probably views you as a temptation from Satan.
A book you might want to read is "The Origin of Satan" by Elaine Pagels. From a religious standpoint it helps you understand how people following the bible demonize people. It might even interest your JW friend. Nothing apostate about that book.
Falling in love or even dating a person outside of JW's is a no no but it happens all the time.
In my case I left my JW husband to be with my lost love from my past. I started reading up on JW's religion, reading up on the bible and it's source, and have since become a Deist. Deist believe in the exsistence of a creator god, but that he/she does not make themselves known through writings of men.
Ruth
Thank you again for all your replies..... you are helping me !! really....
I would like to think that I could convert 'him' to being an athiest but I feel I should not even try... he is devout JW...infact he is an elder...hmmm
....so that brings questions straightaway...how can he be devout if he falls in love with an athiest.. and continues to be with her?...hmmm again... i don't know.... but I do know he would choose his religion over me...eventually....cos the fear of not doing so will be too great.
I can only help him see reason in the vain hope a light will turn on somewhere... he will not convert me...although it seems the easy road to take... I am as firm in my beliefs as he is... the only difference being that it matters not a jot to me what religion he is... and I totally agree with you jgnat..... in saying that:
'I think the real reason is that mixed marriages are hard to control. The local Kingdom hall could just as easily lose a member as manage to convert the spouse. Also, their wierder doctrines are open to "outsider" scrutiny in a mixed marriage. '
I think that has already begun to happen... in our case... but whenever he panics inside I'm sure he will turn back to what he knows and what he believes. It must take massive strength to leave behind such a closed community and way of life... especially if you are one of the leaders of that community...it's like stomping all over all you have worked hard for. So it remains to be seen what will happen.
....and yes Stinkypantz (lol) i have some hope.... I have to have hope or I wouldn't still be here :o) I like to think there is an answer to everything... and maybe it will take a great deal of time... but there will be an answer somewhere along the line...even if it wasn't the answer i longed for.
Thanks
Taisha
