Another thread on Disfellowshipping

sandy

My poor niece may be disfellowshipped soon. She is worried how the family will treat her if she does get df'd.

I told he not to worry about my hipocritical family. The will get over it in a few weeks and everything will be back to normal.

She went to the elders on her own, she said she was feeling guilty about all the things she was doing and couldn't take it anymore.

She took down her friend from the KH with her. At first I was a little upset but after what she told me about her little friend I was glad she ratted her out too. I don't want to get into details about her friend but she is basically a hipocrite and a bitch.

Well, my nice said she didn't cry at all talking to the elders. I told her to be prepared to be df'd. But since she came forward herself they may spare her.

I never know what to say to her. I don't want to be negative and tell her the elders are full of crap because it may scare her.

I just gave her the same advice I always give her. I tell her to be responsible and take care of herself physically and emotionally. And that she is a normal teenager, she shouldn't feel guilty about wanting to have fun and go out with her friends.

Were any of you not DF'd even though you didn't cry in your JC meeting?

Frannie Banannie

My daughter was df'd even tho she DID cry at her meeting....but that's because she chose not to change what she was doing.

LyinEyes

Are her parents active , " well respected" ( I hate that term ) , pioneers, elder in the congregation? If so, she may be spared , because we know the elders do take into account the reaction of the family , their personal friendships with the family . She may be spared being d/f because of this or the others girls family. Sad , but that is the bitter truth of how some elders decide what to do. Sometimes if certain "sins" from children of prominent ones in the congregation can be kept quiet that is what they will do. If she had no family to speak of in the congregation , they would probably d/f her just to make an example of our her , to keep other young ones in line. They are just sick !!

bikerchic

Well, my nice said she didn't cry at all talking to the elders. I told her to be prepared to be df'd. But since she came forward herself they may spare her.

((((Sandy))))

I hope you don't take what I'm going to say as being mean but seriously your niece getting df'ed might be the best thing for her, it just may be her way out of the WTS forever and how could that be a bad thing?

I just gave her the same advice I always give her. I tell her to be responsible and take care of herself physically and emotionally. And that she is a normal teenager, she shouldn't feel guilty about wanting to have fun and go out with her friends.

That was very good advise! She is lucky to have an Aunt who is as caring and insightful as you! I wish the best for her, it's a tough time for teenagers but even tougher when you are in a cult which inhibits normal life developments.

Keep us posted, I'm interested in what happens.

sandy

I hope you don't take what I'm going to say as being mean but seriously your niece getting df'ed might be the best thing for her, it just may be her way out of the WTS forever and how could that be a bad thing?

No offense taken bikerchic. I agree with you but my niece is not ready to hear the idea of getting out of the org. for good.

I talked to her a little this morning but I do not want to persuade her one way or the other. I think she wants to be df'd so she doesn't feel like a hipocrite but at the same time she is afraid of what my family will think of her.

Though my family has no room to talk she still fears their judgment.

zev

if she does indeed get disfellowshipped, and she could let you know ahead of time, maybe you could go to that meeting with her (if she chooses to go) and sit with her for comfort and support. that will stay with her, that you were there for her, when others (maybe even family) were not.

my 2 cents.

minimus

Crying means zippo to the elders. They are trained in "discerning" crocodile tears. Of course, they know as much as the guy next door.

fifi

if she does indeed get disfellowshipped, and she could let you know ahead of time, maybe you could go to that meeting with her (if she chooses to go) and sit with her for comfort and support. that will stay with her, that you were there for her, when others (maybe even family) were not.
my 2 cents.

I really feel that this is an excellent piece of advice. I also agree with what was said about it maybe being the best thing fo her, although I appreciate that she may not be able to cope with the reality of life outside the org. She can be really thankful to have someone so supportive as yourself. Keep us posted.

Hugs,

Fifi

sandy

Well, my niece will not have a decision till after this week.

Elder A cannot make a decision till after he gets back from his Vacation. I wonder if while on vacation and while having sex with his wife, if he'll think of what my niece told him about her sexual experiences.

I am afraid to say too much to my niece. I asked her why she doesn't want to be DF'd. She just said the standard line: "I believe it, I know it is the truth."

I used to say the same thing at her age and for quite awhile after that. I always thought I would go back after I did all my bad deeds.

sandy

Ok, they are disfellowshipping my niece. They said: We know you are sorry but, it is not the "godly sorry".

It really upsets me because my niece had no idea of the kind of remorse she was supossed to feel. Just like me at the time of her baptism she had no idea she was supossed to dedicated herself to god before being dipped.

Most JW kids have no clue what they are doing when they get baptized so damn young!!!!

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