I grew up in a JW home. Baptized at 16. I wasn't molested by anybody in the congregation, but I was approached by two different elders in two different congregations, wanting more than just to be my elder...ifyaknowwhatimean...
I led a double life for a few years and finally slept with a worldly boyfriend at 18. I was put on public reproof. I was told this was to help me understand what was at risk in my life and to turn me around. All PR did was take away my friends and responsibilities in the organization. I slept with my boyfriend again and was laden with guilt. I went to the elders for help. I didn't know how to get out of the cycle of 'sin'. Help is not what I got. I was disfellowshipped for immorality. Yes, I was immoral, but I was asking for help to get away from it. They did not provide that help.
Since then, I've gone through years of therapy and problems in my life. I finally decided a few years ago, that I'd thrown the baby out with the bathwater by giving up on God. I lost trust in Him because of the picture the JW had painted for me. I've since realized that God (Jehovah) is not who I thought He was. He actually IS loving, patient, full of forgiveness and grace. He wants me to be happy, where ever that may be.
I have a peace in my life now that I've never had before. I've found a church that stimulates me and encourages questions and believes you grow through those questions. I've found people in my life that love me UNCONDITIONALLY. Even if I do screw up I know they won't abandon me.
My prayer is that others at this board find the same peace that I've found. I pray that my family (who are still JW) be given strength to question with an open mind. I have two brothers that are 19 and regular pioneers. I love and miss them terribly. My hope is that someday they understand their older sister isn't an apostate monster. I hope that they come to an understanding with the God that I've become friends with.
There are so many more details to this story, but this is the basic gist of what I went through. I truly am happy to have found all of you people out here that have shared the same experiences. Godspeed to you all!
Love,
Billygoat