Looking for some help

by ?£âzârú§?Çhùrçh? 6 Replies latest jw experiences

  • ?£âzârú§?Çhùrçh?

    I'm not a Jehovah Witness but my ex-wife is and so is her family there very devoted to the "truth" and her parents run her life and tried to run mine as well as my children's.

    I'm a wheelchair user and i don't live as local as I'd like. So far her parents have killed the marriage with pushing her to take our children to all meetings and conventions, using many excuses why she should take the children and as she is a devoted Jehovah Witness she listen's more to them then she ever did to me. I.E. Not letting me look after our children while she went to the meetings and knocking on doors trying to get people to listen she'd take them saying they want to see grandad/granny or the other children. This also disrupted there sleep pattern as they were normally in bed for 7pm every night of the week except on her meeting nights when they would arrive home at about 10:30pm half asleep and then rushed off to bed. Now my son who is at nursery school has days off to go to the conventions which I find totally wrong!

    We are now divorced and i have access to the children through the solicitors BUT.... In reality she has only let me see my children 3 times in the last year when she wanted to let me see them under her demands. which have let me see them for just a few hours each time where she has stated the meeting and time. I'm looking for any information to help he get proper access to have them for weekend visits as seeing them for just a few hours when it's suits her is messing up the children. My eldest who is 4 has started bed wetting when i phone up to speak to him and his 2 year old sister since I last saw them at the end of May. When i speak to him 3 times a week he's asking to come and see me but he's being told by his mother he cant he's to small, your not well, your sister is going through the terrible 2's, Etc.Every time I speak to her to try and get her to let me have my children for a weekend she comes up with different excuses up to the 3 times I phone and chat with my children each week. She must see the mental harm she is doing to them as they will if not already know I'm trying everything I can to get to see them and spend some quality time with the both of them.

    This is slowly destroying me inside as I'm wondering if I'm harming them by wanting as much as my son to see each other he ask's her to let him come and stay with me but she just comes out with another excuse not to let him see me.

    What is she scared of????

    Is she worried that they wont want to return????

    Is it she thinks they will not want her faith????

    If anyone has any similar experiences or help they can offer me I'd be very great full and any legal points you know of i can hand over to my legal team would be greatly appreciated.

  • Evesapple

    Get a good lawyer.....they can help set up your visitation rights. Since my cousin and his wife split, she no longer is a JW he is....he tried to keep the son away during holidays etc., (he has custody unfortuantely...long story), she finally got a good lawyer that set up 1/2 way boundries for them to meet as well as specific visitation times also, she gets him on all the holidays that he has off, specifically because her ex (my cousin-the JW) doesn't celebrate them anyway...so the judge ruled in favor of her having him on all holidays....the key is get a good lawyer that knows their stuff. What she is doing is unfair to you and to your kids....any judge will see that.

    Good luck....I hope everything turns out well for you.

  • Nosferatu

    Sounds like she's taking the Watchtower Society's advice. She's helping her children avoid bad, worldly association (in other words, anybody who isn't a JW). Unfortunately, this includes you, even though you are the childrens' father.

    I'm sorry to hear you and your children going through this mess.

  • kls

    That is sad i am truly sorry, but yes you need a lawyer that has dealt with cases like this before, meaning one parent is in a controlling religion . It is the watchtower controlling her and she is controlling your children to keep you away from them . The watchtower is very strong when it comes to controll over their flock ,you are the enemy and the influence you have as not being a jw is that you are part of satan. These are your children get a lawyer and fight for your sake and theirs.

  • sunshineToo

    I don't know how it works in England. But here in the U.S., you can use some good lawyer. What she is doing is not fair, and obviously is damaging to your children. Try to get a joint custody at least so that you can see and have your children regulary. If you can get the full custody, it'll be even better. Problem is that she is going to get a lawyer through the watchtower society free of charge.

    I do hope that you can get a lawyer who is willing to work for you for your interest and benefit.

  • ?£âzârú§?Çhùrçh?

    Many thanks for your ideas and support. I'm off to see my lawyer next week but he's never had a case with Jehovah's involved before:( I've looked around but it seems it's a rare thing where I'm living so I'm just hoping he can hold my case together and get some where with it for me.

    Once again many thanks and I'll keep you posted

  • Leolaia

    Lazarus.....Take a look at this page (from a JW publication)....this is what the children are being taught will happen to you:

    This is from an older publication, but the essence is still the same: your children are being taught that God will kill you at Armageddon because you chose not to become a Jehovah's Witness. And they will be pressured to become baptized at a young age lest they face the same fate. And if they do chose to be baptized, it will be like a binding contract of them being members of this organization....when they grow up, if they chose to leave for whatever reason, they will be shunned by all their former friends and family members within the organization.

    It's a cult. Be sure you are aware of this fact when you consult your attorney.

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