My husband has been disfellowshipped for 2 yrs. and I have been inactive as long. I don't want to bash the brothers and sisters because most of them are sincere. Even doctrinally, I accept much of what I was taught but i take issue with men's opinions taught as policy. When my husband was DF I almost left him but realized I had no way to support myself, having spent a good many years pioneering by doing menial jobs. I had taken the truth out of high school in early 70's and was discouraged from going onto university because the "end" was only a few years away and besides, there was no need for doctors and nurses in new system. I also had delayed marrying until the new system (almost) and did put off having children which is my second biggest regret.Now that I am close to 50, worry about retirement (actually lack of it) and all the years I wasted because I was afraid to be viewed as weak by pursuing such things. Happily hubby and I have resolved our problems. We don't intend to pursue any other religion as they have nothing to offer nor do we intend to take up religious holidays.We are simply trying to overcome the guilt and build a new life. Unfortunately, this whole debacle had put me into a depression which I thankfully am overcoming because I have found a friend outside the truth that I can pour my heart out to without my words being reported back to someone else or being judged unfairly.Being in the truth was not entirely a bad experience but I do realize that when those taking the lead are rigid and impose their ideas, the whole congregation suffers but is powerless to do something. Anyway, those are some of my thoughts.
testing the waters
by its_my_life2001ca 6 Replies latest jw friends
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Mulan
Welcome.......I hope we can help you recover. It's a hard process, but worth it.
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AlanF
You can certainly pour your heart out on this forum, and get a lot of stuff resolved. A lot of great people who've been through it all.
How did you find this board?
AlanF
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its_my_life2001ca
Thanks for the welcome. I found the sight by visiting jw sites.
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WildHorses
Hi it's,
Welcome to the forum. I hope you stay awhile, and make a few friends here. Most everyone here will help in anyway they can to make you feel at ease.
Lilacs
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ZazuWitts
Hello Its-my Life,
Glad you decided to post. There are many here in your age bracket, give or take a few years. Also, you will find a variety of beliefs/opinions on almost any topic. Just jump right in when a topic 'grabs' you, and share your insights/thoughts.
I'm glad you have a good non-JW friend you can share with - and, you don't have to be concerned re people here 'turning you in' - so you can express yourself freely.
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Sunbeam
Hi IML,
I just wanted to add my welcome too. Your board name sounds like a pretty good philosophy.
As to bashing JW's, many of us have loved ones in the organisation and would be more accurately described as WTBTS-bashers. We know that the people are often sincere - it's the system that's at fault.
I'm pleased to hear that your relationship with your husband has improved. Hopefully you can work this out together. I know it may sound cheesy, but have you thought about seeking out any local ex-JW support groups? As you seem to have discovered, confiding in friends 'on the outside' could be a big help.
As for the guilt, many people have found that reading analyses of the organisation's history, doctrines and psychology have quickly dispelled this. If you haven't already found it, Randy Watter's Freeminds site is a gem.
Wishing you all the best on your journey of discovery.
Sunbeam
xxxx