Harrassment and Stalking

by Xandria 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Xandria
    Xandria

    A friend of mine is suffering from harrassment and it is affecting work, home and even marriage life. I, for one will not stand for something like this and feel this friend's pain. It is a frightening thing to happen to someone. I know, for a fact Simon would not allow it to continue here. But, in some instances we have had it happen on this board. SO I am going to say this to all the newbies:

    Please be very careful of giving out personal information on this board.

    To people who use the methods of Stalking and Harrassment as a form of passive/ agressive behavior. Beware you are not anonymous as you think you are. Phone companies are offerring something called "call trace & track" when *69 doesn't work. With Call Trace when you receive a harassing call you enter a code on your phone and the call is automatically traced, even if the number is blocked or unlisted. If the calls are frequent, the phone company can set up a "trap." With a trap the phone company tries to determine the telephone number, or area from which the harassing calls originate based on the date and time the call came in.The information collected from Call Trace or from a trap is turned over to law enforcement personnel, not the customer. Law enforcement officers try to put a stop to the harassing calls by either warning or arresting the harasser.

    These are some things you can do:

    If you are a victim, how can you tackle the problem?

    You can help yourself by using some simple techniques and installing some electronic equipment.

    1. In the first instance, notify the following:

    • Your telephone service provider.
    • Your family or those living with you .

    2. Consider changing your number.

    3. Keep a call log - accurately record times and dates of malicious calls. This information can be invaluable in bringing your case to a prompt and successful resolution.

    4. For your personal safety and security it is possible to install a device on your phone line. It is your telephone service provider's (BT, Cable, NTL etc) role to provide the call-tracing evidence, which will enable the police to identify the telephone where the calls originate from. The following equipment can be used:

    Call Tracing
    Call Tracing is normally initiated when other options, such as a change of number, are either inappropriate or have failed to help. Your telephone company may initiate a trace if they feel it is warranted, or they may reccommend you contact the police, who can authorise the trace.

    Caller Display
    Caller Display is part of a new network service, which is dependent on Calling Line Identity (CLI) technology. This service allows customers to see the number of the person calling them before they answer the phone.

    Telephone service providers have other new facilities to put a stop to unwanted calls. Speak to their customer services for further details.

    If it is by Mail let the Postmaster know that you are recieving malicious mail. Threatening someone is a crime.

    As soon as you see that someone is being overly persistent, protecting yourself and your family must be your top priority. To limit your accessibility:

    • Utilize private post office box services for all mail. If necessary, list your mail box as Ste. #123 or Apt. #123 instead of Box #123. File a change-of-address card with your local post office giving the box address as your new one. In addition, send that address to friends, businesses and associations. Request that they remove the old one from their address boxes or Rolodexes.
    • Advise all utility, phone companies, and creditors of the change. Request a copy of your credit report. Then write a letter to the credit-reporting agencies to notify them of your ?new address? so that they remove your home address (both past and present) from your credit history.
    • Notify any companies and catalogs of your new address and advise them that they cannot include your name on lists they rent or sell.
    • Don't list your name on a list of tenants at the front of your apartment building.
    • Register your driver's license and cars to an address other than your home. You'll need to file a change of address with the Department of Motor Vehicles and get a new driver's license with the new mailbox address on it.
    • List property in a trust, not in your own name.
    • Remove your home address from personal checks, letterhead, and business cards.

    • Use a non-home mailing address for voter registration and credit card applications.
    • Ask the three credit bureaus (Experian, Equifax and Trans Union) to flag your account in order to lessen opportunities for fraudulent access.
    • Make sure your name doesn't appear on any service or delivery orders to your house.
    • Rent an outside office if you're self-employed and your business requires in-person visits. Next, take personal and family precautions:
    • Get an unlisted phone number, and limit the number of people to whom you give it. Should you need to be more widely available, opt for an off-premises answering service or voice-mail.
    • Don't change your number should a stalker gain access to it. Instead, get a second one. Keep the old number hooked up to an answering machine.
    • Never talk on a cordless phone (those conversations can be monitored). Scanners can also pick up conversations via baby monitors and hearing aids.
    • Make sure your address isn?t listed in the phone book or in the reverse directory.
    • Avoid calling 800, 888, 877 and 900 numbers, so that your phone number isn't captured by a service called Automatic Number Identification.
    • Never verify your home address or any other personal details over the phone.
    • Make sure the area where the phone lines enter your home is inaccessible.
    • Let appropriate people around you know what's going on and enlist their help. Describe the threatening person (and any vehicles he or she drives) to family members, neighbors, household staff, co-workers, school officials, receptionists, and police. Photographs work even better.
    • Carry an air horn with you. Use it if approached.
    • Know the whereabouts of family members at all times. Accompany kids to school or bus stops.
    • Vary the routes you take, whether in a car or on foot, as well as your routines and social habits. This may mean finding new health clubs, bars, or places of worship to frequent.
    • Plan ahead. Know the locations of police stations, fire departments and busy shopping centers. Head there if you're followed, and honk.
    • Always park in well-lit areas. Opt for a secured garage if available. Avoid parking lots where car doors must be left unlocked and keys surrendered.
    • Visually check the front and rear passenger compartments before entering the vehicle. Keep the doors locked when not in use.
    • Equip your car's gas tank with a locking gas cap. The hook-locking device should be controlled from the inside of the vehicle.
    • Invest in a DIGITAL cellular phone so that you can call for assistance should you need it, without leaving your car. Analog phones can be scanned.
    • Don't stop to assist stranded motorists. Phone in a report instead or offering personal assistance.

    If you do have children, they need to know the score, whats at stake and what to do. So do those who care for them. You'll want to:

    • Ask a friend or family member to accompany you whenever possible. Never walk or jog alone at night.
    • Teach children not to give out information to strangers.
    • Accompany your children to school or bus stops. Always know their schedules and whereabouts.
    • Let the school and childcare center know about any restraining or protective orders.
    • Have a third party drop off and pick up your children if your stalker has visitation rights.
    • Keep an eye out for any adults in your child's life (such as teachers, coaches or neighbors) who show signs of being overly invested in your kids. Clues include hyper-control, obsession, speaking to a child as an object of affection or romance, personal notes, letters and presents. Make sure you can be safe in your own home. Most police will supply a free home security check-up. And follow the following suggestions developed by the LAPD's Threat Management Unit:
    • Positively identify callers before opening doors. Install a wide-angle viewer in all primary doors.
    • Install adequate outdoor lighting, including a porch light at a height that discourages removal.
    • Keep doors and windows locked.
    • Install dead bolt locks in your residence, as well as an alarm system hooked into a police station or security organization. Don't hide emergency keys outside. If you have a deadbolt and can't account for all the keys, change your locks.
    • Keep garage doors locked at all times. Use an electric garage-door opener.
    • Trim the shrubbery around your property. Install good outside lighting, and locks on gate fences.
    • Keep your home's fuse box locked.
    • Install a loud exterior alarm bell that can be manually activated in more than one location.
    • Maintain all-purpose fire extinguishers--and smoke detectors--in your home and garage.
    • When away for the evening, place lights and the radio or TV on a timer.
    • Invest in a family dog -- one of the least expensive but most effective alarm systems.
    • Post emergency numbers by each telephone.
    • Prepare an evacuation plan and brief household members on the procedures. Provide ladders or a rope if you live in a two-story residence
    • At the office, make sure all visitors and packages pass through central reception. If your name appears on any reserved parking areas, take it off. Have a secretary or co-worker screen all calls if necessary. Brief any on-site security personnel. And be aware of anyone who might be following you on your way home from work.

    Finally, don't neglect to take these safety precautions because they sound long and like a lot of work. This is not the place to take any shortcuts. And don't ignore them just because you think that you shouldn?t be forced to change your life. You're right. It isn't fair--but it is reality. So do whatever it takes to keep you and your loved ones safe.

    http://www.stalkingvictims.com/survival/pdfs/10_measures.pdf

    http://www.stalkingvictims.com/home.htm http://www.abika.com/Reports/TracePhoneCalls.htm http://www.west-midlands.police.uk/victims_of_crime/malicious.shtml Keep safe. Lots of Love. X.

  • Ciara
    Ciara

    Thanks for the warning and good advice. You can't be too careful these days, but I still say it's a shame that those precautions are necessary.

  • Celtic
    Celtic

    For an absolutely massive resource on the many types of bullying, please go to http://www.bullyonline.org

    There is also a section on cults http://www.bullyonline.org/related/cult.htm

    Hope this of some help too.

    Mark

  • Stefanie
    Stefanie

    Thanks!

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Yeah, I went through the stalking thing (yes, it can happen to guys). I did a search on the net, and came up with basically what was posted here. This information is excellent.

  • bsmart
    bsmart

    While I havent had this issue the information is so important! Thought it deserved a bump to the top.

  • Simon
    Simon

    Always good general advice.

    We have a zero tolerance policy to those who are abusive and harassing others. Once you cross the line, there are no second chances - you will be banned and will never be welcome back. There are no excuses.

    I think there is a certain degree of "broken windows" ... if poor or aggressive behavior is allowed then it moves the bar and possibly encourages or at least opens the door to more serious things. Thankfully, we've always done pretty well avoiding serious issues and have addressed anything that people have brought to our attention - we can't stop anything before it happens but we can respond if it does.

    No one should ever feel threatened or uncomfortable - if you are receiving unwanted attention then notify me. But beware, false allegations or the discovery that the complainer has initiated the issue will also be dealt with - don't play games.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit