I'm not sure... Ode to Uncertainity

by Jang 1 Replies latest jw friends

  • Jang
    Jang

    When I first saw this is reminded me of how most of us feel when we first leave ... and especially when we come to boards like this.

    I'm not sure...

    Not sure of what I am doing

    Not sure I should be here

    My hands they are a-trembling
    and I do feel awful queer

    Not sure I'm in the right place
    My weakness is a disgrace!

    Not sure I'm with right person
    Have I done it wrong?

    Not sure I should feel like this
    Not sure I belong
    Unsure of myself
    unsure of anyone else

    Not sure if there's a God
    Not sure that he loves me
    Not sure if anyone cares
    Not sure if I care
    Not sure if I'm safe
    Not sure if you're safe
    Not sure I know the truth..
    Not sure I want to!
    Not sure I can trust my feelings
    Not sure I have the answers
    Not sure I have the questions
    Not sure I should be this unsure!

    Unsure of the future
    Unsure of the past
    Unsure I can cope
    Unsure I can last!

    Not sure if I'm sane
    Suspect I am unwell

    Not sure of heaven
    but very sure of hell!

    Quite sure of suffering
    and interminable pain
    Of terror, isolation
    and dangers I cannot even name!
    What to do with this uncertainty
    I surely shall go mad
    If I only could feel again clear
    I surely would be glad
    Where will this nightmare end?
    Will I die of doubt?
    Go completely round the bend?
    Scream and rave and shout?
    Should I run away?
    There's nowhere I can go
    Or give my life to another
    whose doubting does not show

    But wait.. now I remember...
    Got to just "Let go!"

    "Let go" of 'dilemma'
    take on board 'Slow!'
    "Let go" of 'choose'
    Let go of 'quick'
    Let go of 'something to lose'
    Let go of 'in the shit'
    Let go of 'care'
    Let go of 'panic'
    Take on board 'aware'
    Let go of 'manic'
    Awareness of my 'worry'
    Awareness of my 'fear'
    Awareness of my 'hurry'...
    at last beginnig to clear
    Awareness of need
    for steadiness of breath
    Awareness of heed
    to preoccupation with death
    Awareness of life
    in me and around
    Awareness of this room...
    and everyday sound
    Awareness to body...
    capacity to move

    A walk can be so clearing...
    Free me from a 'groove'...
    of mental activity
    spinning out of control
    driven by anxiety
    digging me this hole!

    Author unknown

    JanG
    CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
    Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Jang,

    When I left the org, only one thing was absolutely certain.

    NOW I CAN HAVE SOME SEX!

    Yes yes yes

    Englishman

    ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

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