When I first saw this is reminded me of how most of us feel when we first leave ... and especially when we come to boards like this.
I'm not sure...
Not sure of what I am doing
Not sure I should be here
My hands they are a-trembling
and I do feel awful queer
Not sure I'm in the right place
My weakness is a disgrace!
Not sure I'm with right person
Have I done it wrong?
Not sure I should feel like this
Not sure I belong
Unsure of myself
unsure of anyone else
Not sure if there's a God
Not sure that he loves me
Not sure if anyone cares
Not sure if I care
Not sure if I'm safe
Not sure if you're safe
Not sure I know the truth..
Not sure I want to!
Not sure I can trust my feelings
Not sure I have the answers
Not sure I have the questions
Not sure I should be this unsure!
Unsure of the future
Unsure of the past
Unsure I can cope
Unsure I can last!
Not sure if I'm sane
Suspect I am unwell
Not sure of heaven
but very sure of hell!
Quite sure of suffering
and interminable pain
Of terror, isolation
and dangers I cannot even name!
What to do with this uncertainty
I surely shall go mad
If I only could feel again clear
I surely would be glad
Where will this nightmare end?
Will I die of doubt?
Go completely round the bend?
Scream and rave and shout?
Should I run away?
There's nowhere I can go
Or give my life to another
whose doubting does not show
But wait.. now I remember...
Got to just "Let go!"
"Let go" of 'dilemma'
take on board 'Slow!'
"Let go" of 'choose'
Let go of 'quick'
Let go of 'something to lose'
Let go of 'in the shit'
Let go of 'care'
Let go of 'panic'
Take on board 'aware'
Let go of 'manic'
Awareness of my 'worry'
Awareness of my 'fear'
Awareness of my 'hurry'...
at last beginnig to clear
Awareness of need
for steadiness of breath
Awareness of heed
to preoccupation with death
Awareness of life
in me and around
Awareness of this room...
and everyday sound
Awareness to body...
capacity to move
A walk can be so clearing...
Free me from a 'groove'...
of mental activity
spinning out of control
driven by anxiety
digging me this hole!
Author unknown
JanG
CAIC Website: http://caic.org.au/zjws.htm
Personal Webpage: http://uq.net.au/~zzjgroen/