Hi Gang,
I saw an advert on television where the mother of a teenage girl was really frustrated trying to speak to her.The daughter spent every second of the day either sending text messages or yacking-away on her mobil to her teenage friends.So the mother started sending text messages to her daughter saying things like: ru going 2 B in @ 6-4 T?
So, one of the reasons I`m writng this post is to get some-one on this forum [ I don`t know his username ] to read this.If you think you know who he is,please send in a post below and tell me,thankyou.
In my old congregation I had a mate from the United States,I`ll just call him "Tom" because he looks and sounds like Tom Hanks [Films: Casterway/ Sleepless In Seatle];I`m English and more of the Hugh Grant type and talk just as Prat-ish.Although this made us chalk `n' cheese,we still hit-it-off together...ie..both of us hating the Pharisee elders,and the brown-noses in the congregation reaching-out to-be elders.But the main thing we both had in common was that we both fancied the same sisters and are both sex maniacs[ we met one Thursday night at the meeting both fighting to get the same seat down the front...Sister Suspender Stockings a 25 year old Strewberry blond pioneer, was giving a talk that night!!!].
About three years ago there was a program on Panarama(BBC television) called "Silence of the Lambs" which REALLY upset us both.Tom has 3 kids and I have a young daughter, so we desided to go on the internet to get more informatiom; which is how I found this Forum.Cut a long story short, we both left; but not before I metaphorically shit on the Ciruit Overseers carpet infront of the gang of six arse-lickers around him....( did I let him have it or what!(info from this forum) God, you should have seen his face! it looked like a slapped ass !!! His bottom lip was trembling like a school boy pouting after being smacked on the butt....
Tom worked for a witness so had to pack-up his job and go on Social Security after leaving, not that- that bothered him.Tom broke-up with his wife a few years ealier and she pissed-off back to New York,but Tom still lives here in his little house in the suburbs.It`s one of these new plastic Lego type looking places with the carefully manicured lawns out front with the conservatory and decking out back etc.. All the little houses look identical on his tiny estate where it`s mid-summer and sunny every day.All the families have a HUGE silver Michibullshiti 4+4 Shogun or whatever the hell they call them, thats driven by the wife ofcouse. All the kids are immaculately dressed and well behaved,no one ever gets angry /swairs or ever farts....They`re all the perfect TV commercial family.These people,apart from the brainwashed religious fanatics of this world, are the sadist people on this planet! I will spare you a discription of all the family members, but the women on Tom`s estate are probably the most sadist, obnoxious, middle-aged women in England, many of this type are in Jehovah`s witness congregations.
They spend every single second of their pefectic lifes worrying what their neighbours and total stangers think of them.It`s probably even sadder knowing they are hated by their [jealous] neighbours and will die alone with no one at their funeral.They spend a small fortune on "lables" and other things just to keep-up or ahead of their perfetic peers, and in doing so end up looking like and sounding like clones [ they have a put-on snobby/snot-nosed Britishit accent all trying to talk like the Duchess of York or some other silly bitch].When you step in to their sitting room you can only hear them talking but can`t actually see them, as they all ware a Lara Ashley flowery dress that perfectly matches the Lara Ashley curtains which matches the Lara Ashley seat covers which matches the Lara Ashley wallpaper[$150 a roll]which perfectly matches the Lara Ashley carpet which....oh shit, I`d better stop otherwise I`ll be sick over my Lara Ashley keybourd my mother bought me last Christmas!
The last time I saw Tom was in a computer shop two years ago, he was buying another PC as he`d smashed-up his other one with a sledge hammer after trying to download music from KaZaa desktop earlier that week.He was holding his old keybourd and mouse,which were both covered in teeth marks and blood/sweat and tears. We had a long chat about good web-sites when suddenly I realized HE hadn`t been on THIS discussion forum, he only visited Watchman or wharever a year ealier to get info about the JW cover-ups! So I excitedly told him all about this Jehovah`s witness discussion forum; how you can talk to ex-witesses all over the world, read their experiances, start a thread etc..etc...etc.. Tom was REALLY excited and cut short our coversation to rush home and register for this discu s s i on for...... ( Sparks suddenly stops typing, puts his head in his hands and say`s " Oh my God....WHAT HAVE I DONE???" ).
That night after seeing Tom in the PC World shop I tryed to telephone him but kept getting a really nasty screeching sound [internet] on his land line. And only the Answer phone on his mobil.I tryed to call him dozens of times over the next few weeks, both in the daytime and at night but he was always on the internet obviously on this forum.Once after a romantic night in,[I`d just remarried] I nipped to the bathroom at about 3am in the morning,and thought I`d try again getting Tom on the phone, only to get that internet busy screech again...!
"Dosen`t that guy EVER come off that bloody forum..??? ah sod it,I`ll wait until he gets fed-up with it and calls me!"
Well that was 18months ago,[ funny how time flys when your married to a pervy-wife!!!]. And Tom hasn`t answered my letters and is still on the internet non stop, and definately on this forum.
Yesturday I was out in the suburbs,when I thought I`d pop in and see if Tom was home.When I drove into his estate I saw several Safari type Land Rovers outside Tom`s` house with a large group of important looking people and a dozen natives carrying specialized equipment all looking eager to go on some dangerous expedition.I parked my van and walked over to them.
The first thing I noticed was Tom`s front lawn, it was really over grown, when I say "overgrown" I mean REALLY OVERGROWN..!!! I asked some American guy what the hell was going on.
" Well, some of these guys are from the National Geographic Magazine, it`s been reported that a lost tribe of cannibals called the Wairthefuk Arwee tribe are living in there some where"
he said pointing at the front of Tom`s house.
"How did they get their name?" I asked him.
" These people are Pigmies they`re only two feet tall, and got their name from what they say or chant as they cut their way through the tall grass ` Wairthefuk Arwee-Wairthefuk Arwee-Wair Are we ???! "
A small group of Archaeologists had managed to cut through the undergrowth, so I clambered my way through to join them-
" Hi guys,I`m Sparks a friend of the guy who owns this house, where do you gentlemen/lady, come from,and why are you here?"
" We`re from the British National History museum,my names Mr Jones,but my friends just call me Indiana.I specialize in braking into tombs and Aztec burial sites etc..some of these sites carry an evil curse.Right now as you can see theres some sort of huge ancient rusty metal container blocking the path.I`m going to see if theres some-sort of door hidden in the side.I`ve seen this sort of thing before out side the gates of a lost city called Troy, please stand back"
While the team of Archaelogists were bussy trying to find a way in,I squeezed around the side of it and came near to Tom`s front door,which was covered in spiders and their webs.The front of the container-skip thing had a large hindged slopping lid which I lifted-up and looked in.Inside was broken computer monitors,countless floppy discs and keybourds etc..thousands of empty beer cans,pizza boxs and KFC tubs...
Suddenly Indiana Jones came up behind me and shouted-
"(((GET BACK)))holy shit!!! you shouldn`t of opened that, you could of unleashed the ten plagues of Egypt on us!!!"
He then turned to the front door beside us; " Get back, get back all of you, this looks like the main entrance,I`m going to force it open..."
As we all steped back I could feel my heart pounding like a drum, sweat was running down my back as I heard the natives shout-
" Uck tiss forumm gama o solgerrrrrssssssss ahhhhhhh!!!"
I asked the girl from the museum what they said-
"They said- a game of soldiers..!`and ran off in blind terror..."
After five minutes of brushing the cobwebs away, Indiana stepped back to give the door a kick and said-
" HERE GO`S [lets hope theres no snakes inside this time...!]ready..." Crash! there was a huge cloud of dust and bits of wood,plaster and shit flying all over the place.Then after what seemed an eternity, Indi came out carrying a pair of stinking trainers on the end of a long stick, "These were left in the hall,quick get a priest to exorcize them.I don`t think theres any more traps in the hall way.God it`s hell in there! It smells like Bin Ladden`s armpit.Theres thousands of empty beer cans,empty pizza/cigarette boxs and stuff.The place is crawling with Cockroaches and mice.The curtains are closed,but through the darkness and tabacco smoke, theres a Mummy covered in cigarette ash.The computer monitor has the Jehovah`s witness discussion forum web-site on and the Mummies hand is still clicking on the mouse!"
At that point I was told to leave by the police, and a team of doctors carrying a white jacket with lots of straps on the sleeves was entering the house.Later that night I telephoned the hospial to see if I could visit Tom,but was told he was in some sort of trance,stairing straight-ahead only moving his right hand in small circular movements and clicking his index finger...click-click...click-click...
I telephoned the hospial again today but was told he`d stolen a lap-top computer and escaped....
Obviously I can`t use your real name on the internet, but "Tom" please answer this thread or call me.I`m very concerned.I think your spending -just a tad - too long on this forum.You can have too much of a good thing you know!
[ Just incase Tom dosen`t read this message, do YOU think you may know who Tom is and can you please help him? any suggestions?