I'm So Ashamed.

by Englishman 6 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Englishman

  I am ashamed to admit this, but last week it suddenly became apparent to me that I have been unconsciously following a most despicable witness trait.

  I have been disfellowshipping people!

  Let me explain. In about 5 weeks time I shall be holding my birthday barbecue - apostates welcome! - and I was sat down composing my guest list, I'm allowing for 80 people, tops. My thinking went like this:

  "I haven't spoken to Steve since he broke my expensive garden rake and didn't bother to replace it, so he's not getting an invite. That means that his woman Kim is out and so is her mum and dad. Also, I've not spoken to South African Frederik following his bad comments about "Bliddy Blix" (Bloody Blacks)so he's not coming either and nor is his snooty girl friend. Now, as for my kids from my first marriage, course I want 'em, but the ex is staying with my daughter for a while and we haven't spoken in years, so they can't come - WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING!?"

  I suddenly realised that I had accumulated 3 "I'm ignoring you's", and it was me that was shunning people that I had once been close to. Real witnessy stuff that I thought was beneath me!

  So, last week I set about putting matters to rights. Steve was astonished when I told him to forget about replacing my rake and bought me a pint. Frederik and I have decided to leave racial issues out of our conversation. My ex-wife and I talked on the phone for the first time in years, we decided to draw a line on events right up to the present and to stay in touch. Oh, yes, yesterday she received her copy of "Crisis of conscience" that I had sent to her.

  So, you so called "Loyal witnesses of Jehovah", know this:

  IT'S GOOD TO TALK!

  Englishman.

  ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.
• 

  safe4kids

  Eman!!! {{{Hugs}}}
  Good for you and thanks for sharing this with us...I think I've been guilty of similar attitudes at times. Your post makes me really look at myself with regard to whether I am being judgemental or not with others. Thanks dude!

  And an early Happy Bday to ya!

  Dana

  "A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born."
  Antoine de Saint-Exupery
• 

  mpatrick

  Englishman,

  I also tend to fall back into that judgemental attitude. I have a mother and sister that don't talk to me because I am "apostate" but they talk to my three disfellowshipped brothers. It is very hard not to be judgemental and resentful. Besides that, she tries very hard to discredit me with my Catholic relatives. I sometimes find myself trying to defend myself, but realized in the long run she does that by her own actions. My relatives see the hypocrisy. My brothers on the other hand, think I should keep quiet to keep peace. I find myself torn with whether I should stand up for my beliefs or just sit back and keep quiet. I think in the long run, it is just better if I choose my battles carefully and try not to be a hypocrite and fall back into the same judgemental characterizations I had as a witness. Sometimes it seems like a never ending battle.

  mpatrick

  He does not believe who does not live according to his belief.
  -Thomas Fuller
• 

  AGuest

  Dearest Englishman... may you have peace... and may I say...

  YESSS!!!! (US arm 'pumping' motion thing-y!)

  THAT is the 'law' of the Christ... being about 'setting matters straight'... quickly! Forgiving and RELEASING... and not 'binding' one another again!

  You have accomplished one of THE most difficult things it is in human nature to do... not just to forgive (we do that all the time)... but 'setting [the] matter STRAIGHT'. Being the one to 'offer the peace pipe'.

  I know that you most probably don't care what my feelings on the matter are, but... I AM SOOOOOO PROUD OF YOU! Don't you feel GREAT?! Whatever 'barriers' existed that prevented you from LOVING these people... have been removed! Nothing standing 'between' you and them now... no broken rake, no difference of opinion/view, no past relationship and its pain... nothing!

  That is how it is with my Lord. That is why my Father has said to us and INVITED us... "Come, now, you people... and let us SET MATTERS STRAIGHT BETWEEN US."

  Isaiah 1:18
  Micah 4:3

  The same thing you did with those folks, E-Man? You can do with God and Christ. You can go in your private room, enter 'before the throne of God (through Christ, though), and 'set matters straight'. Confess what wrong YOU have done, and ask forgiveness... AND tell Him what it is that YOU hold 'against' Him... and 'set it straight'.

  Psalm 4:4

  THAT is the beginning... of coming to 'know' God and Christ... and being KNOWN... by them.

  I bid you the GREATEST of peace, dear E-Man... and pray that, if you 'wish' it, the undeserved kindess and mercy of my God and Father JAH of Armies, comes to be upon you... you AND your entire household... to time indefinite!

  Your servant, and a slave of Christ,

  SJ (who's doin' the 'Dannybear' dance - 'frolickin' is what I think he called it...)
• 

  Englishman

  Thank you, SJ,

  Most kind of you.

  Englishman.

  ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.
• 

  Roamingfeline

  That took a lot of courage, and humility. I'm glad things worked out well. Happy B-Day!

  RCat
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  betweenworlds

  Very well done eman!!!!! Proud of ya, and you have inspired a lot of us I think

  BW