Hey all.
I've been quite absent from posting for the past long time. I don't know what has made me think that this is the time to post this letter to my friend, but here it is. If she reads it, she knows how to reach me...my email address has remained unchanged for all of this time. If she doesn't, then, well, I've gotten it out of my system...for now anyways.
This one's for you Mia! Hi sweetheart. Ok...I admit it...I can't get you out of my head these days and it's driving me nuts!! So I just keep writing letters that I'll never send and hope like crazy that I'll get it out of my system. I'm worried about you. I'm worried that you're getting buried under a pile of doctrine that cuts you off from those "other" people who love you. When I imagine you now, all I can see is that "mask" that I've seen on your face when you're around other witnesses. I don't want that kind of life for you X. The X that I remember was so free and happy. Ok, albeit a bit too free but a lesson was learned from that! What I'm talking about is freedom to love who you chose to love, not having some magazine or other human tell you who you could associate with. That is just not kosher. I do not see how a loving God could support such a destructive way of thinking, no rather, of being. You know that I love God and His teachings; that they are the right way to live one's life (and yes, I know that I've not always done that but I'm learning from my mistakes to become a better person). One of His fundamental teachings is to love thy brother (or sister as the case may be) as you would be loved yourself. When man teaches man to "make as dead" someone who does not share the same belief as him, well that's just downright nasty and dare I say it...bordering on evil. The thought that comes to mind is Hitler telling his people to kill the Jews because they were not worthy of life because they weren't German. Truly ick!!! I would think that God would want you to love that person even more if for nothing else than to show how loving and giving that religion is, kwim? To have families torn apart, friendships put asunder all because of what a man has taught them...well that's just not right X. You are living in a cult my dear and it scares the living shit out of me. Who YOU are deep down inside is being destroyed by fear and manipulation. I'm not saying that it's your family that's doing that but rather the whole JW community. Yes what you did years ago was wrong...no doubt about it, but to have a group of elders tell you that you will no longer be as them to keep you in the group is just plain manipulation. Should the story have come out then, it should have been up to each and every individual who knows you to come up with their own idea on how to proceed. Yes you might have lost some friends over your behaviour but you also would have had tons of support from others. NO ONE on this earth is in the position to impose judgement on you for what has been done...not until they become you and walk a mile in your shoes. No elder on the face of this earth can tell you who to talk to and who not to talk to...that is YOUR choice and your choice alone. X, if we all lived by the teachings of the WatchTower, we would not have anyone to talk to! Just think about it for a second...one year they teach that such and such a way of thinking is OK and you can talk to anyone who also believes such a thing and then the next year, they say "oh you know what? We recieved New Light on this subject and found that we were wrong. So you guys can't talk about this anymore or else you'll suffer the consequences." Before long, there would be nothing left to talk about for fear of losing all of one's friends and family. What kind of love is that?? It's not. It is pure propoganda honey, put forth by a bunch of control freaks. I know you love your religion and trust me, I know that there is a lot of good in it. But I want you to think, I mean REALLY REALLY think about some fundamental issues here. Do they really teach love? Do they really teach global community? Do they teach acceptance of all people? No they don't. They teach that you can love only if "you think and believe the same as me"; they teach that unless you believe what they do, you don't belong to the group; they teach shunning of those who do not espouse all of the same doctrines as they do...even if that person is your own daughter. That is NOT Godly love honey. Again, it's more like Hitler-ish than anything else (imho).Sweetheart, I love you. I always will, you know that. But I find it extremely difficult to accept your way of life. It is closed minded and bigotrous (hehehe...I just made that word up!) and actually (again, imho) based on hate. One of the teachings is "beware of false prophets"...honey, you are surrounded by them. They have prophesized Armegeddon so many times only to have it not come true. That fact alone should be enough to open your eyes! The men who run this organization are just that...men. Men who are human and fallible just like you and I. They are not capable of making up rules of conduct because they themselves are not perfect. Do you get what I 'm saying here? You do not have to listen to them X! Live a good life and have a good heart and you will be welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven for all eternity! Be remorseful over the bad things that you've done and learn from them and vow never to do such things again. You know God can see into your heart and he knows that you are such a good person with so much to offer the world. He knows that you're sorry and that you try every day to be better. He knows you X and He would never ever turn you away from the Eternal Paradise...not ever! You will not be granted access to Paradise because you did not talk to me for the rest of your days, or did not talk to Julie or whoever. Because you shun does not grant you entry into the Everafter X. He wants you to enjoy the gift of life to its fullest and to show love to all that you know, not just a selected few. It's like a parent having a favorite child and neglecting the others. That's not right is it? No it's not. By all means, continue to love Jehovah and to believe in the teachings of God! But please, please please...do it away from the group. Do not let their small mindedly based fear dictate to you what is right and what is wrong. You know in your heart what is and what isn't...let that be your voice of God. And yes, God also knows that my heart is very selfish for saying all of this to you. I want and need my friend back and I think that one of the main things keeping us apart is this religion. And yes, I desperately want to break that connection that you have with it. I don't want to take away your belief system, just the power and control that they have over your everyday choices. I want for you to be able to associate with whomever YOU choose because YOU choose to, not because it's sanctioned by some elder. Do you know what I mean? And if you say to me even once that you do associate with whom you choose, I'll scream! If that's the case then why aren't you in contact with Julie? She's a very good friend and quite frankly does not deserve the cold shoulder. K, well not the cold shoulder exactly, cuz from what i understand, you are very nice to her when you run into her. But what I mean is that she does not deserve to be cut off from your daily life. Alternate points of view are what make us grow. They can also solidify our choices but you have to be able to hear them! You have to be able to have contact with those other view points in order to make those choices. Just because you listen to something or maybe even begin to believe it, does not make you a bad person unworthy of Heaven. X, bottom line is I love you and I'm worried about you. And...I desperately want my friend back, for this time that we have on this earth is just far too short. Why (and if you can give me one good reason, I'll buy into it) should we be cut off from those that we love? Why should we be denied that gift? I'm not saying pick me over them; I'm saying pick open over closed. I love you and you will always be my friend no matter what...you will always have a place in my heart and in my home. Absolutely nobody or nothing could ever take that away!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT????? Nothing or nobody... Always, me PS: And just in case you're wondering, should you choose to stay within the flock, I will not judge you. That's not my place to do. You will be the same wonderful, loving and funny person that I have always had the pleasure of knowing. That will not change. I will be sad though because I can see so much more for you. PSS:Does Prov 4:18 really justify an organization replacing doctrines and failed prophecies with new doctrines and prophecies, or does it simply contrast the benefit to the "righteous" of obeying a wise father (Prov 4:10-19)? False teachings can be called "false words" and Prov 13:5 says, "A false word is what the righteous hates..." When the WTS changes a teaching to something that is totally different, is it like a light that is getting brighter and brighter or more like having one false light (word) completely turned off and a totally different light turned on? Do you think the WTS would be critical of any other organization that changed its teachings as many times on as many different issues over the last 100 years as the WTS has?