Older JW's and DF'd children

by Ghosthunter 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  Ghosthunter

  Anyone that has read my posts, knows that I am only child and that I have had a strained relationship at best with my mother since my DFing in the early 80's. Now that my mother is getting up in years, what happens if she falls ill and needs to be cared for on a daily basis?

  I lie awake at night thinking about this. Not only am I DF'd and her association with me is limited, but we are at least 5 hours away geographically. Basically, I am her only family besides two sisters that are up there in years as well. Does she expect the people in her congregation to care for her? I've learned from this board that's probably not going to happen.

  Do I just stick her in a nursing home and let them drain away the rest of any money she might have? Do I insist she move closer to me so I can look in on her, despite my status with the JW's?

  If anyone has run into this situation, I would appreciate your comments. Thanks.

  GH
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  Emma

  You're probably right that she won't get help from her congregation. It happens in some exceptional congregations, though. It's good to begin thinking about this now, investigating the options. You can't decide for her at this point; sometimes circumstances make the decisions. I have siblings and likely won't have access to my mom, an entirely different situation. You can keep in touch and leave the door open for her.

  Emma
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  PurpleV

  You might be suprised at the attitude change as parents start needing their children. It's scary to be old and alone, and shunning then can be seen for what it is: Stupid.

  Hope for the best...

  ((Hugs))
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  concerned mama

  A poster named Mulan has been caring for her aged parents for a while . She has had to deal with a lot of elder issues. Why don't you PM her to make sure she sees this thread and read up on her posts about caring for her Mom?
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  garybuss

  
  
  I have simply told my parents if you need anything, let me know. Burden of initiation of contact is on them. They have not contacted me. I assume they are fine. I have stopped by to see them and they have yelled at me. I guess I won't be doing that anymore.