"Friends" are gone

BeautifulMind

I have (well had) an extremely small circle of JW friends. Lots of acquaintances and associates but 2 or 3 I would consider my true friends. That list is now 0. Yup, once I told them I no longer believe in the org and haven't for a long time, and their attempts to encourage me thru jw lingo and terminologies to "rely on Jehovah" and not to "stray away" failed that was pretty much it. I haven't heard from them since. So the shunning has already begun - No disassociation, no disfellowshipping, just not believing or attending anymore. It's sad for them really, because I'm still the same person they became friends with, but they only see that I don't believe in the org so they have to cut back or off completely association.

I told the one I felt the closest to -we've been friends since the sandbox - that I am happier now than I had been in years since I stopped attending the meetings.. I asked if she was happy for me. The reply? "Nope. Because your happiness comes from not being happy in Jehovahs organization." Huh?? Really?? Wow...ok. So we were never truly friends. Friends are supposed to be happy for you regardless of the cause.

Thankfully, I have my hubby, my babies and my entire side of the family for love & support. More importantly I have my freedom to live my life. Anyway, I'm feeling a bit more comfortable on here, so thanks for taking the time to read my experience. Enjoy your Saturday!😉

Simon

It's sad realizing that your friends weren't real friends or they are willing to put unknown watchtower writers ahead of their personal relationships. It's their loss, we were the same once.

You make real friends afterwards and it's refreshing that you don't have a sword of Damocles hanging over your relationship.

hardtobeme

Conditional friendship that's all it is. Enjoy your Saturday too... ;)

suavojr

Is not easy to realize that everyone in our lives have only shown us conditional love throughout our entire lives. Nevertheless, life goes on with these people in our lives or not. You now have the opportunity to live free or die a slave.

Oubliette

Simon: It's sad realizing that your friends weren't real friends or they are willing to put unknown watchtower writers ahead of their personal relationships.

Well said.

If it's conditional, then it is not love or even friendship.

On the other hand, once you leave the cult you are able to make real friends: people that love you for WHO you are and not WHAT you (pretend to) believe.

It gets better!

Beth Sarim

Agreed. Once you leave the Borg mindset of ''spiritual'', you have true friends who accept you for who the wonderful person you are. Not for the dogmatic, narrow-minded appearance of how the Borg instructs people to accept others.

The Searcher

Beautifulmind - It's sad for them really, because I'm still the same person they became friends with

Thankfully you're not the same person - you have learned to see through the Org's corrupt teachings and practices, and that's what frightens J.W's.

BeautifulMind

The Searcher I didn't look at from that perspective, more of a personal side. But I agree on that point.

stillin

I personally do not feel the need to bring people around to my point of view. ALL of the Witnesses do feel that way. Any other opinion is not welcome. And I really don't want friends like that anyway. I want friends who can compare their thoughts without it being a contest.

gingerbread

The culture of the Jehovah's Witnesses (individuals, congregation, leadership, publications) requires each member to become judgmental and suspicious.Whether you know it or not, this process begins when a person begins to study and proceeds to baptism.

As soon as a member begins to develop an 'attitude' or conducts parts of his personal life in ways that are not in line with organizational rules (independent thinking), the shunning begins - more strongly with some, less with others.

The longer one is 'in the truth' the more an observant person realizes that real friends don't exist in the congregation. When a person reaches seventy or eighty, they better have some good adult children and grandchildren to assist them. They sure won't get it from the 'friends' in the congregation.

ginger

"Friends" are gone

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