Hmmm what did i do...?

medstudent

Hi all,

My first question on the board...

Ok so what did i do? Well I was browsing through the website of my former high school and i ran into an emailaddress of a former friend. So I decided to email her. Somehow I didn't even think about the fact that she is a JW and i'm not because religion somehow was not something we ever discussed. After high school she moved to another country and we lost touch. Only when I got a very enthusiastic reply of her today did i think of that fact. So what to do now? I mean she obviously is still a JW i got disfellowshipped.

So what should i do? Should i just tell her 'yep i'm doing great' or should I tell her i am disfellowshipped? Somehow i feel that i owe it to her but i'm not sure what to do cause it is so nice to hear from her again.

Hope to hear your advice,

medstudent

RunningMan

Disfellowshipping is an evil mechanism for controlling people. It will only go away if people simply refuse to recognize it. Don't play their game.

I would just be me. If she brings up religion, just say that you left it behind a long time ago.

Gopher

You only owe her friendship, not explanations about philosophies/religious differences. I'd say continue on as if normal. Only if SHE insists on making it a "witnessing" relationship -- at that point you might choose to fade away. For now, feel her out.

Maverick

DFing is a non-issue unless your friend makes it one. If pressed tell her you have outrown the WTS and let it go! If she still pushes it tell her to drop it! Go on the another subject. I have found that often the things I worry about never happen and the things that do come up could not be anticipated. Maverick

Max Divergent

I think I define my religious status, not them. But probably a good idea to make sure she knows you're not one anymore. I've said before, 'Oh, I just see things a bit differently now...'.

Take care, Max

mouthy

Well I differ ! I akways think honesty is the best policy- If she is a JW ( strong one) she must like you!!! why let it go further .Just tell her right off the bat you dont think JWs are the truth....My opinion only-=-cos I am an oldie & have made MANY wrong choices in my life- so do what YOUR heart tells you to do...But being mouthy I always like to butt in.....lol ( But I would pray about at THIS time in my life -maybe you should)

asleif_dufansdottir

Has she asked you about it? I certainly wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't bring it up, either. I'm sure you have many more things in your life to talk about than being an xJW...tell her you're in med school (I assume from your name that you are). That should be a big clue...

If you bring up that you "left the truth (tm)" right away without it being a normal part of the conversation, she might suspect that you had motives for emailing her that you didn't have...like trying to 'poison her against the truth' or something.

Besides, maybe she's no longer a JW! (wouldn't that be cool)

medstudent

Thanks for the advice :)

She indeed didn't ask me, but there is one more complicating factor i didnt tell you. Although she has moved to another country her family (JW) still lives here, and they are in the same cong as my aunt and uncle who are very JW and shun me a little. She also asked me whether i'm still in contact with some of the friends we shared in the cong. What do i say? Just 'no we lost touch?' or 'no because i got dfd'?

Maybe it's all not so important, but i just don't her to find out and then thinking that im some kind of hypocrit not telling her, but i also don't want to lose contact by telling. 'sigh'

Thanks for the advice again, mouthy i'm inclined to follow your advice but still have to sleep a night on it i suppose.

She herself entered law school though a few years ago, but she told me that she is married, so i suppose she is still a JW because she is only 22 and married....

medstudent

Hmmm what did i do...?

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