A local Staen Island Newspaper asked me to write about my experience in the Borg. Here it is - What are your comments? Thanks :)
----------------------
My Life In The Jehovah's Witness Organization
By Larry
The Genesis
Since the age of five I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness (JW). I can vaguely recall celebrating a birthday and a Christmas before my mother accepted the teachings of this religion. My mother came into the organization as a result of the proverbial ‘JW sticking their foot in the door.' The JW women that taught my mother was very aggressive, as were many JW at that time. Once she accepted the doctrines, all seven of us a children naturally followed, at least as children. My father never accepted it, but he didn't oppose my mother from being a member. His biggest hang up with the religion was the fact that the ‘Governing Body' (men who run the organization) were all ‘white.' Since the religion doesn't promote African American consciousness, we all thought our father was ‘crazy,' and we would constantly be embarrassed over his Pro-Black views and lifestyle. As I reflect on those times, any thing Afro-centric was discouraged. When I went into homes of fellow JW's I never saw African American artwork, books, sculptures, artifacts, etc. However, the liberal arts of other cultures, as long as they were not idols, were proudly exhibited in many homes. Since that was during the late sixties and early seventies, I guess it was a reflection of the lack of consciousness by some African Americans at the time.
I have fond memories of being raised a JW. I can recall looking for my father in the neighborhood to adjust my tie before I went to the ‘Kingdom Hall' (place of worship), he would always be in the middle of gambling or drinking a beer with his friends. On a couple of occasions, when I wanted to see something on TV I would misplace my dress socks so I wouldn't have to go. The District Conventions at Yankee Stadium or other large facilities was a time to meet people from all over the world. We would spend all day at the convention, but as kids we would find distractions to help the many hours go by. We would constantly go to the bathroom just to walk around the stadium or coliseum. I can recall walking around endeavoring to be like the older guys by getting telephone numbers from many of the young girls. However, the best way to kill time was to volunteer in the food service or cleaning department (you could wear your sneakers for those jobs). At the end of each Convention, I could recall the adult JW's robotically saying, "These Conventions get better and better every year." Of course I wasn't at that level of appreciation, I was hoping they would get shorter and shorter each year. Seven through ten days & evenings in a row was a bit too much. In fact, if left up to me and many other JW youths we would definitely not want to: Attend the Conventions or Kingdom Hall; Knock on people's doors or stand on the street corners selling magazines; Tell our friends ‘We don't celebrate birthdays, or any other holidays'; Refuse to participate in school sports, plays, or bands; Remain silent or stay seated during the pledge of allegiance or saluting the flag. As children we had no choice in the matter and made the best of the situation - Trying to convince ourselves and other people that it didn't bother us - but in reality it did.
Why I Got Baptize
Basically several factors were involved with me getting baptize - positive peer pressure, wanting acceptance, and sincerely believing I was doing the right thing based on what I was taught. For most of my adolescent life I didn't want to be with other JW youths because they would always appear too ‘preachy' and ‘up tight' at the Kingdom Hall and since I like to have fun they didn't really interest me. It wasn't until I finally listened to my mother and started hanging out with them that I was in for a rude awakening. Some of these JW youths were doing all the things my mother didn't want me doing - smoking, cursing, stealing, having sex, drinking alcohol, etc. I'm not saying I didn't do some of those things, but I wasn't the one at the Kingdom Hall pretending to be an ‘angel.' One thing I had a problem with was that I always felt that the congregation never ever respected our family, largely because my father was always hanging out in the street, we didn't have much money, and when I was 12 my father died while my mother was pregnant with her last child. Those situations fueled much discussion about my family. I guess I resented that because I can recall during the height of my JW career telling my mother something like "remember how those parents would look down on us? Well they can't do that anymore because we are all productive adults."
As I got into my late teens I developed friendships with other JW youths from other boroughs and states and did many things together - ski trips, bus trips, amusement parks, bowling, etc. It was during this time that I reasoned it wasn't all that bad being a JW - I could hang out, drink beer, and still be considered righteous as long as I did these thing with other JW's. So I started taking the religion very seriously, reading the Bible everyday, reading all the JW literature, reaching out for greater privileges in the congregation and so forth. I even started to seriously date a JW female. However, since the religion believes in dating with the intentions of getting married, I had to break off that relationship since I wasn't ready to get married at that time. As my progress began manifesting itself, I went the to Elders (Leaders in the congregation) and told them I wanted to dedicate myself to the organization. Afterwards, I went through the 100+ questions and got baptized in July ‘83 at an assembly hall in Harlem. I was on a so-called ‘spiritual high' at the time, reading everything authorized in ‘Watchtower land'- Always being ‘at the feet' of the older men in the congregation wanting to acquire additional knowledge. At this point I was officially recognized as ‘Brother Henderson' in oppose to Larry
Getting Married
A few years later I met my current wife (of 15 years) at a JW social event in Red Hook, Brooklyn. Since we wanted to do the right thing by the Elders and the Organization, prior to our marriage, we decided to have a bible study with an Elder & his wife based on a JW marriage book. The book talked about the dangers of being of un-chaperoned, petting, and sex before marriage. It also spoke about sex after marriage, having respect for one another, and how to maintain a happy family life. In retrospect, after meeting the requirements of having a JW marriage in the Kingdom Hall I deeply regret complying with them, because it meant that my closest friends couldn't be in the wedding party. Although they were associated with the religion, through their parents, they were not in ‘good standing' with the congregation. Since I wanted the approval of the Organization I went along with ‘the program' and excluded them from the wedding party, but they were invited guess at the wedding & reception. (Speaking of marriage, just last year, during my youngest sister wedding, I was slighted in a similar manner. Because of the fact that I was no longer a JW, I was not wanted or invited at her wedding or reception.) So after a year of courting, Judine and I got married - I was 22 and she was 20. I left the Lower East Side of Manhattan and we moved to Coney Island, Brooklyn. Admittedly, that bond with her was one of the few positive things that resulted from me being a JW.
My Progress In The Organization
As I submerged myself in the dogma of the organization I was gaining greater responsibilities, not to mention my new founded family responsibilities with the addition of our two beautiful children.
I volunteered for every available service, constantly talking about my faith in the public, spending hours preparing for any on stage speaking assignment. I even progressed to the point of traveling to other Kingdom Halls on speaking assignments. Being that I worked the midnight shift, I sacrificed many hours of sleep to help the congregation in any capacity possible. After years of this routine, I was being considered for the appointment of Elder. In all honestly, I really enjoyed that time. I wasn't really doing it to become an Elder, I just loved the learning, and it just seemed like the natural thing to do - Since going to college at that time was discouraged. I was so zealous, I couldn't understand why all the males in the organization wasn't doing the same thing. However, as much as I treasured those times, it wasn't as enjoyable for my wife. She was ill, with constant respiratory problems - we were in and out of the hospital. Despite her health situation much pressure was put on her to do more for the organization. Everyone, including myself wanted her to do more. I was so blinded by my progress I regrettably didn't realize I wasn't supporting my wife as much as I should have. Unfortunately, it wasn't until I left the organization that I realized how wrong I was. But, while I was in it was there was no stopping me. Just before I was about to be appointed Elder, I received a letter from a housing complex in Staten Island for a three bedroom apartment. I didn't really want to leave Coney Island, but I had to take my family in consideration, so around 1993, after some of the members in the congregation had three different going away gatherings (parties) for us, we moved. This meant that I had to start all over again on my organizational career in a new congregation.
Life On The Island
Just as Staten Island is very different from the other boroughs in the city, the Staten Island congregation was very different than the other congregations in the city. It was a difficult adjustment for us in the Staten Island congregation. For one, the preaching work (knocking on doors, or strolling the streets and/or ferry terminal trying to convert people) was different - Instead of knocking on doors in apartment buildings we now had to knocked on the doors of houses, even mansions at times. I can vividly remember one wintry morning when my little daughter was attacked by German Shepard dog in a women's front lawn. Lucky, it occurred during the winter because she had a big coat to shield her from the bites. The whole episode reminded me of the attack dogs during the civil rights era. It took every bit of self control for me not to kill that dog. After we recovered, we cautiously went on to the next house. Dealing with the houses and dogs weren't easy, but dealing with a new congregation and it's Elders was the real challenge. The Elders were apprehensive at giving me assignments, they didn't really know me or my family and my achievements in the prior congregation didn't amount to much in their eyes. Understandably, they had a ‘wait & see' attitude. However, after a couple of years of perseverance I was recommended and appointed as an Elder. I could still remember the euphoric sensation the night I heard the announcement from the stage. Interestingly, it was during my Elder years that I started having serious doubts about this organization being ‘God's Chosen Representative on the Earth.' Being in this position afforded me many privileges, but it was mentally challenging. Not only did I help ‘shepherd the flock' by dealing with other peoples issues, such as: divorce, adultery, sexual abuse, teenage delinquency, fraud, suicide attempts, depression, jealousy, etc., I had to deal with the varied personalities of the established Elder-body. Speaking of which, recently I spoke to a JW (who is on the verge of vacating the organization) and he told me that many JW's felt the reason I bolted from the organization was due to the personalities of a few strong- minded Elders. In fact, one of those Elders asked me during a conference in which I resigned as an Elder, at the headquarters of JW's, if I ‘stepped aside' because of him. I told him "No" and that no matter how much I disagreed with him, I wasn't going to allow an individual to stop me from serving as an Elder. My resignation and departure from the organization was due to several factors, one of which was my disagreement with its teachings - more on that later.
END OF PART I