Opinions on family situation

by dogon 7 Replies latest social family

  • dogon

    My brother got married to a woman who was wild and selfish. So for those who think I am just biased let me tell you the story. He married her and about a year later she got pregnant. She would call him when he was with his family telling him she was at a bar with some guy and he would make sure she got home OK don't worry. After an argument she had some of her family tear his truck up and when he called the police she threw her family under the bus saying she did not know they did it.

    Several years after the marriage she wanted to leave. She told him that his son was from an affair she had and he was not his. He thought at first she was lying and took his son and had a DNA test done. She was not lying he was not his. After she left him and went to live with her father several states away he ran after her telling her his father [our father] was dying and he had a 100k inheritance coming. Before our father was passed on he was stealing from our dads accounts while he was in hospice buying her everything from boots,jewelry and a new CRV. She came back, no surprise there.

    About a year after my father passed and the estate was divided up and sold off he disappeared. He stopped calling or taking calls, cut off his facebook page and has had no communication with any of his family. Just before this happened he also started a crash body building program to also entice is wife. Personally I don't see this as a lasting fix the problem. Just before he quit talking to us he would say his family had put wedges between himself and his wife.

    Other things his wife has done is have affairs with her female first cousin, she would say they were kissing cousins. Ask my brother is she could bring in a woman and have threesomes. she has never held a job for more than a year in her life. Any money that they have came from my brothers work or inheritance. Even their home was originally built by my family for my brother before he met her. She once said because I went with them to a bar at night and would not dance that she was gong to drop a tab of ecstasy in my water. My brother told her not to do it and informed me later on.

    Opinions on this situation. My feeling is as sad as I am to say this, I think its best and for my own good that I cut ties with him.

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    Is this real life?

  • OneEyedJoe

    It sounds like he's cut ties with you, so I'm not sure what you're even asking for. It further sounds like he's in an abusive relationship, so abandoning him now is the worst thing you can possibly do for him. If you want the best for him, then helping him to build up his own self confidence and see that there's more to life than her is probably your best bet - if you're making an accurate representation of the situation, then he'll eventually realize that he would be better off without her and that she is not irreplaceable. That said you also have to look out for your own interests too, and it may not be worth it to you to have him in your life. That's for you to work out.

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    @dogon Maybe do a little reading into Borderline Personality Disorder and see if your brother's wife is matching the criteria. Might give you an upper hand in understanding WHY she is so toxic and such a loose cannon. Knowledge is power, my friend.

  • ToesUp

    Uh yeah...run like hell from that situation.

    I have a sibling that is a train wreak, she is no longer welcome in my home or life. She is a lying, manipulative and would use and steal from her own grandma. She is married to a man just like her.

    Run! Some people are way beyond help.

  • LisaRose

    I wouldn't get involved in that train wreck other than may be a yearly call to see how he is doing.

  • dogon

    I agree, I have tried over the years and given a lot of time and money. Its always been a one way street. I was never paid back until we divided up the inheritance. I demanded I get back what I had loaned out over the years. His wife tried to take control of the inheritance until I told him she needed to stay away. This further ticked her off. I also lost my temper and posted on Facebook the DNA test to show if she tried to say it was a lie here is the proof. This went over like a lead balloon.


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