Family events(when you actually get invited)

by Jayk 3 Replies latest social family

  • Jayk
    It's hard for me to go to any event with witness family I havent seen in a long time..I have a pretty personal story that I don't care to share but since the incident, my mom's family stopped talking to me..when I go to family events everything feels fake. I feel like I did something wrong and I'm around people who I'm not good enough to be around. I went over five years recently not talking to my family (brothers/mom)after my divorce. The first time I saw my two older brothers was at our grandparents anniversary a little over a year ago. I decided to sit across to my oldest brother and his new wife. In the 5 years of us not talking after my divorce. He got married and I got invited to the wedding but I chose not to go..we talked a little bit that night, it was cool. But you would think after 5 years you would have more to talk about.. the words of my ex wife when I ran into her at a bar after not speaking to her for 6 years (I stopped counting after 5) me:"hey what's up" her:"hey what's up?? After 6 fucking years that's all I get is a hey what's up?? I fucking loved you!!!)the divorce was her wanting. She wasn't a witness ever but that didn't me. But I told her, "I haven't talked to my family in that same amount of time" strange enough my ex wife and I can make up and legit just be friends but I can't seem to make things work with my family.. things actually have been getting better with my brothers and I in the past years. It's clear we didn't have normal childhoods. My oldest brothers who is still a witness understands that now but smart enough to know there isn't anything we can do about it now. Let's try and move on..
  • ToesUp

    Family events suck. We never felt “good enough” either. We weren’t invited to most events when we where still in. My spouse wasn’t a servant and I wasn’t a pioneer. No recognition in the cult. Much happier now! Now we truly enjoy our time and money.

  • flipper

    JAYK- I totally understand what you're going through and how you feel. I'm the youngest of my siblings and the ONLY one who got out of the Witnesses about 14 years ago. I wasn't DFed, but just stopped going due to not agreeing with the WT Society and their injustices. Any time that I've gotten together with my 3 older JW siblings- it's always been an " official " function like an occasional wedding or funeral. And although we hugged, there really isn't much conversation because most all they want to discuss is what's happening in Jehovah's Witness land - as they feel THAT is the only important thing to discuss. WT Society influences them to feel that family, personal relationships don't really matter - but only WT functions and JW issues matter.

    So like yourself, my conversations with them get very stunted with both me and them grappling for words to say or to try to have normal conversations. Since I'm probably the best conversationalist in my family ( JW or NON -JW I got that from my mom ) I can carry a conversation but I end up doing most of the talking because my JW relatives have a " goal " or an " agenda " when talking to me - which is trying to steer or control the conversation BACK to JW speak and topics. But I just steer it back to family topics and ask how their lives are going ? And I get short, clipped answers like " fine " or " we are doing fine " . I mean it's so stunted it's ridiculous. I have much better conversations with the 50 % of my family who are Ex-JW's as at least they'll talk about anything. You'll find that our JW relatives are extremely limited in what they'll talk to us about because in their brains- they are already pre-judging you and me as " heathens " or unfit disbelievers in their organization. It is what it is. Try hanging out with any ex-JW or Non-JW relatives you have. I believe it will make you happier and brighten your day - as well as lighten your load as regards to stress. Who needs stressful relations when it comes to relatives anyway ? My 2 cents. Put yourself around people who see and appreciate YOU for being YOU. Good luck, take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Jayk

    Once I had a state champinship season for a sport I went entirely undefeated. won't say the exact sport but let's just my mom didn't realise how rough it was but neither did I till I made the team. She was disfellowshiped at the time for my state champinship game. So only her and 1 of my uncles who is married to my dads sister but was still a witness showed up. But for that whole season no one showed up to any of my games. I dont think it was a blatant stance but no one really cared to go..

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