Meeting JW grandparents for dinner

acadiel

Hi, everyone -

I guess this is more of a "What do I expect when" type question.

My mother left the JW's when I was a child and was subsequently disfellowshipped. I'm 28 and only remember seeing my maternal grandparents once in my life - at a cousin's graduation (who was still JW at the time.)

Anyways, since my mother's parents (and all my other relatives) are over 950 miles away, when we were there last, I stopped in at their address and visited. They were nice, cordial, and invited us over for dinner next time we go. I wanted to say my peace since they are in their late 70's/early 80's, tell them I loved them, and introduce my wife and daughters to them. (My wife and I are Lutheran-LCMS, BTW).

I found that they still had my mother's high school graduation picture up with all their other children's high school graduation pictures. They still talked about her. I did not dance on the subject of my mother with them at all, so I have no idea where to go with it.

Since I will be going to their place for dinner one night in 5-6 months when we go back to see my parents and sister's new baby, I have no clue what to expect, what topics not to discuss, etc. The JW "religion" seems very odd to me (growing up Catholic and then being Lutheran, I see no basis for "disfellowship" - only forgiveness like Christ commands us.)

Any advice would be helpful... :) Thanks!

Wolfgirl

If you want to keep things smooth between you, personally I'd avoid the subject of religion altogether.

Navigator

Wolfgirl gave you good advice. Avoid the subject of religion. This situation is but a reflection of the tragedy that disfellowshipping and shunning cause. The really sad part is that your grandparents feel justified in what they did.

mustang

Also, the mention of the "world situation" is a favorite lead-in to a sermon. The TV blaring the news is often used by JW men to strike up a conversation about the "world situation" with another man; the conversation is then "drifted" onto GOD's KINGDOM as the only hope for world peace, etc. ad nauseum and so forth.

GOD’S KINGDOM has an extremely specific and detailed meaning for them. It doesn’t really match anything you are likely to have encountered.

(WARNING: satisfy your curiosity on that with this discussion board: it’s safer for your sanity!!!) Again, avoid discussing religion sums it up.

Are these conversations accidental/coincidental? NO!!! They actually TRAIN the entire congregation to do these things, in a school scenario.

JW's are also very deft about leaving Watchtower & Awake magazines out for "conversation starters". If you are careful, you can get around these nuances with careful avoidance. Stick to the weather & sports

BTW, welcome to the board.

Mustang

Sassy

well prepare yourself for them to perhaps try to encourage you to go to meetings, or take literature. They must obviously still love your mother if her pictures are still up. They will want to "save you and your family".. the question is, if it is brought up (religion) how do you respond? If you knock the religion, you may find you alienate yourself from building a relationship with them. If they are in their 70s, chances are that you aren't going to 'break them out' .. so remember what it is worth to you to have them in your life.. they won't be around all that great many years to come.. if it was me.. I'd avoid talking religion and be as tactful as possible

DevonMcBride

JW's look at the pessimistic side of everything including world events. If they bring up how "terrible" things are in the world try to bring up the bright side of it. I would agree with the others about avoiding any religious chit chat but if you find yourself stuck in a religious discussion, ask them about the changes in their teachings particularly the "Generation of 1914"

Devon

Meeting JW grandparents for dinner - what to expect?