Opening prayer: (Lett) Dear Heavenly Father Jehovah God please bless this meeting with your loving direction, in Jesus' name Amen.
Morris the Turd: Well brothers we have a problem - 99% of the worldwide work figures are in; and those lazy slackers in the field have come up short so what are we going to do?
Sam Turd err ... Herd: Get the Circuit Overseers off their behinds to tell the Secretaries to phone every non-reporter and inactive publisher and "remind" them that they "must have" done some preaching in the last six months and offer them the "fifteen minute" option.
David Ex-Splane: And if that doesn't work let's introduce some overlapping figures from last year; it worked on the generation chart that I explained so well! Kenneth "give us our daily bread" Flodin said so!
Whacko-Jacko: When I was in front of the ARC O'Brien and Toole really cocked it up so don't let the branch committees interfere - they're hopeless!
AM3: I don't know Geoff, why not actually threaten the branch committees that any who show a decrease will get sent to Fumbuck-in-the-Boonies and let them lean on their minions? We can do a Pontius Pilate and wash our hands of the whole thing and if Jesus shows up we can just say "It was the men you gave me Lord!"
Gerrit Losch: Ach! Zese are very gut ideas bruzzers! Let's put it to zer vote! All in favour say aye!
AM3: Motion passed! Now ... about these tight pants ...