Governing Body Meeting today - Agenda item ... (speculation alert)

by freddo 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • freddo

    Opening prayer: (Lett) Dear Heavenly Father Jehovah God please bless this meeting with your loving direction, in Jesus' name Amen.

    Morris the Turd: Well brothers we have a problem - 99% of the worldwide work figures are in; and those lazy slackers in the field have come up short so what are we going to do?

    Sam Turd err ... Herd: Get the Circuit Overseers off their behinds to tell the Secretaries to phone every non-reporter and inactive publisher and "remind" them that they "must have" done some preaching in the last six months and offer them the "fifteen minute" option.

    David Ex-Splane: And if that doesn't work let's introduce some overlapping figures from last year; it worked on the generation chart that I explained so well! Kenneth "give us our daily bread" Flodin said so!

    Whacko-Jacko: When I was in front of the ARC O'Brien and Toole really cocked it up so don't let the branch committees interfere - they're hopeless!

    AM3: I don't know Geoff, why not actually threaten the branch committees that any who show a decrease will get sent to Fumbuck-in-the-Boonies and let them lean on their minions? We can do a Pontius Pilate and wash our hands of the whole thing and if Jesus shows up we can just say "It was the men you gave me Lord!"

    Gerrit Losch: Ach! Zese are very gut ideas bruzzers! Let's put it to zer vote! All in favour say aye!

    Everyone: Aye!

    AM3: Motion passed! Now ... about these tight pants ...

  • steve2

    Closer to what may actually happen in dem meetings.

  • scratchme1010

    Sounds accurate.

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