____
CATERPILLAR-GEDDON
The basement garage would never be the same.
An eyeball rolled under the tool cart and stared sideways at nothing much at all.
Nearby a final death twitch from a dying human ended what had been a death struggle.
A weird creature mostly made of bug parts and human scraps stood and blinked.
Its expression appeared to all the world to resemble a large, inebriated caterpillar.
Steadying itself awkwardly, it shambled toward the basement stairs on wobbly legs.
The monster’s victory meant this weird human replacement took on the new role of Head of Family: a family of devout Jehovah’s Witnesses!
Ah, World Conquest was now assured!
This uncanny thing coughed as its voice box simulated modulated words.
It was practicing scripted dialogue of incredible importance to domination strategy:
“Wuh. Wuh. Wa. Wat. Watch. Watchtower!”
_____
Above the garage, up the stairs - on the other side of the cellar door- human sounds mixed with television commercials, clinking dishes and the distant barking of neighborhood dogs.
The pupae on human legs completed its final transformation.
With snap and crackle of joints in place--the abomination reached for a pair of overalls hanging on a nearby peg. Next to that hung a calendar with the nude pinup smiling at the monster who paused curiously— then, shrugged and trudged upstairs
A sound of muffled voices on the floor overhead:
"Get ready for the meeting, Markie, your Dad should be home any minute now and he has to have the bathroom a good thirty minutes to himself."
"Mom, can I please stay home? I've got homework or I'll flunk algebra."
"No! Education isn't important. You missed WatchTower Study Sunday. It’s the same excuse. GET READY NOW!"
______
The door to the basement swung wide with a hearty thump.
A not too human form lurched inside.
"Honey, I'm home", the familiar voice of their devoured father. Its faltering smile crawled up in a frozen grin.
"I didn't hear you drive up! How was work?"
The bug-man staggered toward the "wife" and stiffly opened uncertain arms for an embrace, mumbling:
"Watch Tower!....Watchtower."
_____
The woman's expression quickly distorted and she pulled back reflexively. A scowl distorted her features.
"You haven't been drinking, have you? You promised!"
The bug-thing awkwardly ambled over to the couch, toppling heavily onto the floor instead.
"Watch Tower!....Watchtower?"
"Frank---did you hear me? Have you been drinking again?"
Her brow furrowed as color flushed into her cheeks. She removed her apron heading for the hall closet. She stepped in where a thorough search took place. Things clattered to the floor.
Bug-man sensed trouble. "Drinking. Not again. I promise."
The tone of voice was flat.
The defeated human’s devoured brain was absorbed by now. Bug-man’s thoughts were accessing neural pathways establishing its instinctive patterns working their way into semi-clarity.
"Evelyn, the alternate explanation is now occurring to me. The carbon monoxide leak in my car made me dizzy. Confused. Not drunk.”
His eyes rolled back like cherries in a slot machine.
It’s human mouth relaxed into a natural human smile.
____
Evelyn backed out of the closet and abruptly slammed the door.
Turning toward her mock-husband she squinted, carefully appraising him with narrowed brows-- started to say something. She stopped and pursed her lips thoughtfully. Her body relaxed.
"Okay. Supper is almost ready, Frank."
Bug-man-head tilted like a dog listening to something beyond human earshot.
"What is with you, Frank?"
The woman placed her hands on her hips and stood pensively.
Anger was tightening her chest and she was barely managing to fight it.
"You say you haven't had a drink. Fine. Are you dizzy from car fumes? Then, you might need a doctor.”
"Doctor? Not needed! I'm for a bath and supper."
The hulking Frank figure waddled off toward the bedroom like a two-year-old with its diaper full.
____
Evelyn exhaled slowly and miserably, picked up the telephone and punched in familiar numbers while keeping a wary eye on the bedroom door. It closed and opened and closed again comically--as though Frank had never seen or used a door before.
Rinngggg. Ringggg. “Hello?”
"Brother Dave? It's me, Evelyn Carmichael . . . yes, thank you. Actually, no. Not doing well.
Frank and I are having a problem . . . again. Yes, that's right. Can we sit down with you and the brothers after the meeting tonight? Fine. Okay, I'll tell him. Bye."
___
Minutes later, Frank-thing opened the bedroom door. He was dressed in a non-matching suit coat and fisherman waders. A knotted necktie dangled off to the side crookedly.
"Frank--I called Brother Dave----what in the world are you doing with that on? You think you’re funny?"
"I'm funny guy. You are laughing now to see me, okay?"
Evelyn shook her head disgusted.
Her son Mark walked over. The boy stared hard at his “dad’s” behavior.
The 15-year old's thoughts clicked deep inside his mind and the "explanation" popped into view. It was not a happy answer.
The boy wiped his sleeve across his runny nose as he stared at his "father's" face puzzled.
.
Dad-thing raised eyebrows and spilled out his plan.
"Watch Tower delivery! Door to door. Caterpillar eggs! Soon, world will convert to our way of life!”
___
The bedroom door opened again and a resolute Evelyn came marching out with two suitcases fully packed.
The boy immediately nodded refusing to look in the direction of the "father" again.
"Do I need to pack my suitcase, Mom?"
Frank-bug's expression switched from alert to alarm!
Neural connections and brain patterns transmitted signals of mission-threatening distress throughout the awkward body.
"Plan B! Come, wife and son--I have great surprise for both of you in the basement garage!"
"What---Frank? What Surprise?
"My surprise solves all problems! Special Gift! Come see--come now!”
____
Warily, the mother and her boy watched as Frank-thing strutted over to the garage door and ceremoniously opened it.
"Big changes to come! Amazing transformation. Happiness for all!”
"All right, Frank. All right."
Three figures shuffled solemnly down the steps into the basement as the door closed silent as a coffin lid.
_____
An hour later the family car disgorged its three occupants in front of the Middledale Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses.
Frank-thing, Evelyn-thing, and Markie-thing waddled up the steps clutching their Bible in one hand and a small container of centipede eggs in the other.
Elder Dave leaned in toward the Evelyn creature and spoke reassuringly.
.
“Days are short. The End is near.”
The presiding Elder's eyes glimmered with alien delight.
Centipede caviar all agreed was delicious.
______
___
Meanwhile, at Watchtower headquarters, a special meeting of the Jehovah’s Witness Governing Body convened.
On the long conference table, leafy, tasty tidbits were nibbled, sampled, crunched and ingested.
Centipede caviar all agreed was delicious.
Nobody on earth would suspect how the journey from the Pleiades to world conquest had been disguised as Divine communication laid out with such precision.
Humanity on planet earth could finally experience the well-publicized end of human existence.
Caterpillar-geddon.
_______
EPILOG
______
Everything went as planned - until it didn’t.
Yes, caterpillar took over the planet. Capitalism ended along with Communism, religion,
War, and carbon dioxide pollution from human beings.
You see, where the plan failed utterly only became apparent when the CROWS arrived.
It was a feast like none other.
Things were soon back to a new Normal.
Once again planet Earth was ruled by Murder.
Only this time - it was a murder of CROWS.
