A Great Life After Leaving
by Lost in the fog 8 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Foolednomore
No More having to read Watchtower stuff.
No more meetings.
No more convention$.
No more field service.
No more Dealing with crazy, nosey, self righteous, gossiping witnesses.
No more worried about being on egg shells if someone sees you do something. I just don't care.
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ozziepost
Freedom !!!
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TonusOH
Under the right circumstances, getting free from the oppressive environment they create is amazing. I faded slowly and had a support system outside of it by the time I stopped going to meetings regularly. Since I have not been DF, the one or two JWs who I have friendships with are able to communicate with me without guilt. Most of my family are out, and the few who remain have cordial relationships with me, and that's fine.
So I was able to walk away and enjoy the freedom that comes from getting out, without having any of the stress and anxiety and difficult times that can come when you don't have a support system around you. And they will use your misery against you, making it seem as if leaving is the cause, instead of the way they treat you when you want to leave. And the worst part is that it is often the people you care about most who are leading the persecution against you. The emotional damage can be very bad.
But not having to rush home from work so that I can shower and change and get right back out the door to go to a meeting and then get home and scarf down a meal and go to bed... it's just amazing. To this day, I feel a bit of urgency when I am going home from work, even though there is no meeting to go to. And it has been around 15-20 years since I was going to meetings with any regularity. So it did leave some lasting marks on me.
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LongHairGal
It was wonderful to get my mind back (I wasn’t raised a JW). It was also great not to be around judgmentalism because I had a full-time job and didn’t ‘pioneer’.
Initially, it was great not having to get up early on weekends to go to the meeting/service. Sleep was so precious since I worked full-time. Also, it was a relief on weeknights not to have to rush to meetings after a long day at work. It was also great to reconnect with relatives.
In later years, in reading about all the changes in the Witness religion, I am relieved that I am many years Out.. All my predictions came true about Witnesses who preferred to be out in full-time ministry instead of at a decent job and planning for retirement.. I always said I didn’t want to be anywhere near them when reality hit.. I have No intention now of being targeted to give money to broke people who wouldn’t be caught dead in a full-time job or any JW for that matter.
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DesirousOfChange
It was wonderful to get my mind back ~ LHG
I don't think I've looked at it that way. Good summation.
Occasionally my wife & I dwell on the fact that we lost our "network of friends" when we left. And of course, one can say there were NOT really "friends" if they were "conditional" friends. True. But they seemed "real" at the time when we were still drinking the Koolaid. They were the people who visited you when you were hospitalized. They were the people you got together with for Pinochle or Hearts or went to lunch with after the meeting. That void is real.
But I noticed this week when one of our kids posted something on Facebook they had dozens of replies and comments which were mostly from people that I do not know. I realized that they had developed their "new network" which is why they say they don't miss the unconditional "friends" that have disappeared from their lives. They have new lives. Bravo!
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smiddy3
DOC , everybody who leaves the JW religion need to get off their backside and go and make new freinds in the real world .
There are so many different ways anybody can do this with the multitude of clubs and activities in the communities to get involved in.
Volunteering in so many activities ,, sporting clubs, social clubs, health clubs , aged care , and the list goes on.
My personal experience not for everybody I admit but just as an example.:
I belong to two clubs where I can have a couple if ales and socialise with other members a bowls club ,and I dont bowl and a sports club and i`m not involved in a sport.but I socialise with members like myself.
I also belong to a mens health and fitness gym and do what I can with my health issues as I`m 83 years old now.
And I`m enjoying every moment of my life while I still have it.
Honestly , I look back and I can`t believe I spent 32 years of my life in a cult and brought up two boys in it ,thankfully everybody in our family are now well and truly out and enjoying their lives.
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TonusOH
Good for you and yours, Smiddy!
I think that's one thing I recognized after a while. For all of the planning we do and for all of our expectations, we only ever live in the present. That actually makes it important to plan, of course. But I try to spend as little time as possible thinking about the time I wasted, since it's gone and done. I am happy with my life today and working to make it better, and I can do that. So while I can't get back the 40-ish years I spent in, I can live it up in the remaining 40. Or so I hope.
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Mum
TonusOH: I'm glad you had a support system in place. It helps a lot.
When I left, I went to stay with a cousin far, far away where no one had known me as a witness. Therefore, I didn't have to deal with shunning either. Whatever works!