I've been out since 1998 and they are trying to pull me back now.

by noni1974 2 Replies latest jw experiences

  • noni1974

    Ok so I have had a little bit of family conflict this past week due to my disfellowshiped farther will where he not just inherited someone we didn't know as a full 1/4th inheritor of his estate he also made him the executor of his estate.

    I don't actually care about that but I decided to let my fully in JW sister who I still have semi regular contact with of his decision. Apparently, he is the son of my father's former girlfriend who died in February of 2022 where he was still married to my mother until she passed away in July of 2022.

    I was texting and speaking to my sister about that situation because I didn't want her and my brother to be blindsided by this. The only info I knew was his mother's first name. My sister must have some amazing Google skills because within 15 minutes of us getting off the phone where I had only been able to provide a first name, my sister found not only her but the executor of my dad's estate she sent them to me and asked if that was her and based on my limited knowledge of that relationship I said yes.

    He's supposed to be my dad's executor for his estate. My sister raised the idea to me that may in fact be a half sibling we didn't know. I never even thought that. So my sister tasked me with trying to get ahold of him via Facebook or any other means I could.

    I was speaking with an exjw friend and explained the who do we call when dad dies issue and since I knew his name and she had even better internet skills she provided me with 2 possible phone numbers for him. I called both and within 15 minutes I had my dad on the phone screaming at me because he texted my dad and let him know he wants nothing to do with me or my siblings. He screamed at me like I was a young child and when I tried to explain and reel him down to earth again he kept getting fired up and screaming at me like I was 3 years old.

    All I was trying to do was figure out who to contact in case he died. I wasn't trying to make friends or anything because I don't and never wanted that all I wanted was a phone number and a name to contact in case my dad dies.

    I have had enough with my dad and his disfellowshiped but believer behind to last me a life time. My dad this week told me I was his emergency medical contact if something happened to him. My uncle never been a witness if his medical power of attorney and this rando according to my dad not related is his executor of his estate. I didn't even know what attorney wrote the will so if something happened to him I would be first contact but I had no other way to get in contact with the executor of the estate not even through the lawyer that wrote the will.

    All I had asked for from my dad was to give me a name and phone number to call should he pass away. I actually had a conversation with my dad asking him his end of life wishes. Blood, no blood blood fractions. What would he accept.

    I spoke to my uncle who is my dad medical power of attorney early today and he had no idea of his wishes and isn't and never was a Jehovah's Witness. He didn't know my dad doesn't want a transfusion in whole blood and he also expressed a desire for no fractions even to save his life.

    Imagine this situation coming to play. Dad has a horrible accident or illness where blood could help him but the person he appointed has never had a discussion about his wishes and didn't know he had that possible authority. We had that talk. I know his wishes. My uncle didn't until I told him.

    The end all be all is I have an ex witness friend who I spoke today and explained it to and she had a membership on a site that allows you to look up information and she gave me 2 possible phone numbers so I called them. I tried through Facebook to message him over a week ago and I got no response. So I called the numbers to see if he would answer to verify that was who he was and I got no answer. About 15 minutes later my dad calls me screaming that this executor of his estate got my phone call and never wanted me to contact him again. I got screamed at like I was a 3 year old because in my eyes I've been trying to make sure my dad's wishes were taken care of.

  • noni1974

    Ok continuation because I have been off this board so long I don't know how it works on a cellphone. I joined in around 2005 and was active for a few years and then Facebook happened and I haven't really been back since.

    I wasn't trying to interfere or anything but as his daughter and medical emergency contact I should at least have this man's phone number or email or the name of the lawyer who drew up the will to contact if something happened to my 73 recently diagnosed COPD suffering dad in case something happened to him. I've been asking for this iinformation for over a year now.

    I've been doing this while I'm in contact with my full shunning sister and her elder husband. I'm only trying to take care of my dad because he is 72 no almost 73 and was recently diagnosed with COPD. Let's be real he isn't going to live forever and we had a whole issue when my mom died that made my dad angry about that situation so I was trying to prevent that situation from happening again.

    I don't care about any possibility of money, that wasn't my priority at all.

    Because of my father's disrespect of me and after what happened with my mom I'm so done with any Jehovah's Witness in my life. I told my dad I didn't want to be his emergency medical contact anymore and I want to be removed from him will. I'm so done with this in my life and I won't tolerate anybody screaming at me like he did anymore. The only issue left is I actually adopted one of his 4 dogs in my name and if something happened to him and she is still around I would fight for her. His other 3 dogs can and will be fet alone until the executor of his estate comes up with a plan. I'm doing a hard shun from now on.

    The only thing I will do is sign the paperwork for him to be cremated.

    Anyway, I came here to post about this because I know anyone who had read this far I thank you and any suggestions are accepted.


    Executor of estate: name is know but he's being a dick.

    Sister JW: I don't have a ton of contact with.

    Brother in law: above sisters husband.

    Me: disassociated female who left in 1998. Atheist, going to hard shun my dad.

    Dad: disfellowshiped in 1999 for cheating. Never honest about it. Of the mind it's cheaper to keep her then be an honest human being. Possible father of his Executor.

    Unknown: Executor of my dad's estate: completely unknown. David.

  • TonusOH

    I have found that it is common for JWs, especially older ones, to do a poor job of planning for later life. Stuff like wills, estate planning, contact info, and so on. The medical directive cards were almost never discussed when I was in; we would only remember them when the time came to renew them. Many JWs that I knew would be caught unprepared even for this minor step, so I would imagine that many of them were not filled out with forethought.

    As for the rest... one thing I am grateful for was that my fade was long and slow. By the time I was out, I had my life set up the way I wanted and I had options. If anyone decided they had a problem with me, that was fine. I was in a good place personally, and if toxic people refused to invade that space, they did not need to know that they were doing me a favor. I'm sorry to hear of your experience with your dad and your family. It is a sadly common experience for people who wake up and realize that the WTS is not 'the truth.'

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