Leaving JW - My own experience

by joao 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • joao

    Hello everybody!

    As some of you may know, I disassociated myself from WT$ last April. And I did it in the noisiest way I could find: I wrote my disassociation letter and made sure to send it to all elders of the two congregations in my town and to all JWs whose email address I possessed.

    I knew this would bring loads of issues because my wife was in as well as our younger daughter. I was prepared for it. I was well read and documented. And I had this secret hope that, by slamming the door, I'd force the true nature of this false religion to become more evident to them.

    I've never been the guy who chooses the rest path and my strategy paid off! By showing them my true love and concern for them and for our family, by showing them what the Bible really says about the True Christians I was able to help them see beyond the WT$ lies! And they also had lots of opportunities to see how untrue JW$ love really is!

    The result is that they are feeling betrayed by the vast majority of our "friends" who have only shown conditional love for them. Let's not even talk about me here!😜

    The bottom line is that they have made my family a great favour by helping them to fade out!!! Yes!!! I didn't even have to make a great effort!!! Eh, eh!!!

    Is there anyone who can relate?

  • Sea Breeze
    Sea Breeze

    Much appreciate your boldness! Good job.

  • enoughisenough

    I just wish I had been more patient and took time to do as you did before I wrote myself out. At least it may have drawn attention and some people may have been jolted. I did find a couple I talked to and sent emails to just dug in their heels defending the lies.

    If anyone who is pimo and decides to leave, I hope you will do it with a lot of prior letter writing to everyone you have an address for. ( hopefully all at one mailing )

  • DesirousOfChange
    The result is that they are feeling betrayed by the vast majority of our "friends" who have only shown conditional love for them.

    We can truly relate to that. We had one last JW friend that had stated in contact with reminders of the Memorial time and secret passcode to the Zoom Meeting, and CO visits, and assemblies (online recordings), but it seems they have now disappeared also. All the other "friends" have been out of touch for several years now.

    We reflected on the fact that either no one noticed we were no longer there, or no one cared. (Yeah, that stings but I guess it's better than getting constantly badgered.) Certainly no one thought of Jude 23 and attempting to "snatch us out of the fire" if they had any inkling of us having some spiritual weakness. No one left their 99 sheet to rescue the 1 who had strayed (Matt 18, Luke 15).

  • Longlivetherenegades

    The beauty of disassociation letter. I dropped mine, what followed was gossips about being a fornicator or an emblezzer of congregation funds.

    Never a clean way to leave the only religious organization on earth doing GOD'S WILL.

    I didn't bother to waste my time explaining reason why I did it. Only my Bible student called for clarification as to my sudden absence.

  • Foolednomore

    My family and I just slowly stopped every thing Jw. Then, one day, some notice we are not at the hall anymore and start to call. But we screen our calls.

  • LongHairGal

    I planned my ‘Fade’ far in advance. Even though that 1995 Generation teaching was what did it, I didn’t leave immediately but had to wind-down, etc. I made sure all my ducks were in a row. I kept my thoughts to myself.

    I re-established contact with non-JW family and friends first before it was too late. This was priceless and I remember sending out Christmas cards again after so many years!

    Being as I already was working (I held onto the full-time job the Witnesses hated me for).. I wasn’t faced with the problem most Witnesses have: a mad scramble to find work to support themselves when reality hits them. They realized they need to prepare for retirement. You could say I was already in ‘reality’ about this!

    My next problem was working out ‘when’ I would actually stop going. It just so happened somebody passed away and that was my excuse. I remember the first night I actually stayed home from the meeting. I watched CSI. After several weeks of deliberately not going, I mentally got used to it. I felt I broke a bad habit and I think I went for so long because it WAS habit and I didn’t know what to do with myself plus those very few people I was friendly with.

    Afterwards..I did get several cards of the usual ‘miss you’ variety but I could see some were from people who hardly bothered with me. So, how could they ‘miss me’?🙄 It’s absurd and I’m glad this terrible waste of time was finally over. I should have done it a decade sooner with the bad treatment I received! ..Good riddance.

  • Foolednomore

    Longhairgal- This something that a pimo relative of mine is experiencing. They need to have their ducks in a roll and things in place before they are fully out. It is a learning curve when things are not together and the trooth is been all their lifes. You don't have many choices in the trooth. When you're out of it or want out if you don't know what you're doing you're in the cold.

  • LongHairGal


    Yes, somebody’s exit must be carefully planned and I wish your relative good luck.

    It is especially necessary for JWs raised in the religion to plan carefully because they have led an unnaturally sheltered life.. And if anybody wants to believe this was a ‘protection’ for them, I disagree. I always felt it was a protection for the religion because these people were pretty much trapped there and less likely to leave . They had no options and knew almost nobody outside!

    This is why I am ever grateful that I was not raised in the religion and kept my job. So, when things started unraveling and it started to stink - I was prepared all around for my exit from the charade!

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