Funny stories about risque bible stories

by neat blue dog 4 Replies latest jw experiences

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    Reading the recent thread about first talks reminded me of when I was new on the school.

    I was around 8 and had to read the chapter that mentions 'sucking king's breasts'. We got there late and somebody else was giving it. Boy was I secretly relieved. My Dad looked down and with a glimmer said 'are you glad?'.

    By the time I grew up, I figured the only way to avoid embarrassment was to OWN those nasty readings. Read em like you meant em, breast squeezing, breast intoxication, bosom pressing, donkey genitals, horse emissions, and the assorted 'ass'.

    One older sister approached me after and remarked on the very 'mature' reading I was assigned. Another time I took someone's place reading the Proverbs 'marital sex' chapter. He sincerely thanked me after with a look of fear on his face.

    Anybody have anecdotes to share about shocking scriptures/etc. and situations in the ministry/at the meeting/etc.?

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon
    And Balaam ass spoke, alway got a laugh from a teen...
  • Mandrake
    That little drunk bastard, Lot, getting laid by his daughters... Mom has very hard times trying to explain what was happening there... Her explanation was something about "the need for populating"...
  • Vidiot
    Reminding my Dad that the Bible was crammed full of "hard-R" content went a long way towards defending my movie preferences as a teen. :smirk:
  • ToesUp

    I never chose to read my kids stories from the Bible Story book. They were too violent and had too many things that I had to explain to my little kids (things that should not be discussed with a 3-4 year old).

    For things that "shouldn't be mentioned", WT certainly speaks a lot about sex. Things that make ya go...hmmm!

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