Breaking Heart Needs Help

by thankyou 13 Replies latest social relationships

thankyou

Was happily married many yrs unconditional love till wife went heaven yr n half ago. 3 mos ago Sun morn. at beach-park saw tall slender cute black girl whose vibes were pure n unique. She had big cloth trvl bag. Lots people around. I sat down next her on bench. Soon she lay down on bench take nap. Heard her laugh out loud to self. I thought oh maybe mental prblms, I shouldn't bother her. Went home but conscience bothered me that I was attracted but abandoned her cause she had issues, but I knew she needed help. Went back hoping she was still there. When I arrived was one person there who got up n left. I was now alone w/her. We looked at each other n smiled. I sat w/her n we talked 3 hrs. She said came Hollywood FL area is "in transition", is a JW n was a Methodist in past. (I knew nothing abt JW). I am in Treasure Coast FL area. We talked about everything except some things she didn't want talk abt, but that was cool. I love God n she was very religious, so she appealed to me. She gave me her cell# n email. She bought chips but no $ for drink. So I gave her $20. I wanted stay but didn't want overdo it. She told me she'ld b there next day to look for her. Told her call me if needed any kind help. Next morn.I went there she was waiting n we had big smile for each other. We hung out together all day:restuarants,Walmart,fast food etc. She said she had a "roof over her head", but looked me like homeless or staying shelter or some JW house. We were so compatible, what she said, the words she used, the spirit behind the words, the things she did, the way she thought--all just like me. It was wonderful! Asked her if she wanted go see my new townhouse. She said yes. So, we chilled out there for awhile. I even told her let me know if needs place stay she can stay for free n I'll help her get on her feet. She was c/o where the bus stop is etc. Then we went back beach-park. I been married years, had my share girl friends, raised daughter. I could tell we liked each other a lot. One thing she had said earlier is she had "keep moving". I didn't pry why. Anyway sun going down we been together 2 days was time figure out if "future". She told me "I can't mislead u into a relationship, courtship, marriage". I thought wow that's real fast, but was ok cause we both middle aged n really clicked. But the "feeling" I got was that she was saying what she wanted to have happen but that she couldn't help/lead/cooperate bec of her religion so if I wanted the same thing I was on my own to figure out how make it happen. Anyway I said "Oh u mean because you're married"? She said "no, cause that's my religion". I said "are you going let someone else tell u how live ur life"? She said "no, those are the rules if they find out they'll kick me out of the church". She told me to call her, as she squinted into the sun that lit up her eyes n face n she looked so beautiful I could see into her soul as we had looked deep into each others eyes so many times. I told her "no, you call me cause I don't have all those rules. Anyway, we parted nicely. 3 days went by finally I called her. She had been "at the library writing an important letter n was now at the post office to mail it n this was a big day in her life". I didn't pry. She asked how I was. Told her "lonely". She said "why"? Told her that I missed her. She got little angry said told u, JW cannot be boyfriend-girlfriend. Told her breaking my heart she sounded sincere said she was sorry . I knew she too had feelings but could suppress them. For 2 days she had been feminine, natural, nice. Once I expressed my feelings she turned tomboyish cold. Knowing that my feelings caused her conflict. I tried ease her stress. Texted her "good news 4 u, I don't love u anymore haha, so u don't have worry or think abt it." Knowing my routine early next morn she ambushed me n said "Geez in only 2 days n u have those feelings inside. I cannot associate w/you then. I told her I can't help it. She said "Ohhhh". Told her don't worry I can control it. She said "Noooo". I thought oh good she doesn't want me to control it. Anyway soon she p/up her heavy bag n walked off. Told her God sent half decent person help her how can she walk away n you may have regrets. Next time saw her she complained that "first u say like this then u say like that etc." She wasn't clear abt my feelings. So, again to ease her mind n so she wouldn't feel hounded, I told her "hey I have girlfriends". N she told me I've been very nice to her n she will pay me back everything. Told her she owes me nothing. Prbly shouldn't told her abt girlfriends. Next day I say her was her was very last time. She had shaved her head. Bizzare, but it was ok cause I care for her. She said when she comes to beach she cannot associate w/me. We sat silently for awhile then she p/u bag n walked off. We had seen ea other for abt 12 days. She was very intelligent never had $ for college. She loves God n so do I. So, we really matched. It's only her JW beliefs blocking things. I've never loved someone so deeply n it's not infatuation or limerance. I called her she didn't return my call. So I did no contact 1 month, but got worried might lose her forever so started texting. Finally called her she said I told u I'm JW so cannot n not to call her. So, didn't call her but continued texting. Told her if she really really didn't want me I'll be gone otherwise she needs ans my phone calls. So, last 2x called her she did ans n knows it's me cause still on her speed dial. But she said agn cannot b friends cause she JW n something abt her ph unable text n she hangs up soon, no two way conversation. B4 cause she told me 2x that I have a prblm n need get therapy cause I'm still pursuing her even she says cannot get together. But told her I have B.S. Physchology n she has stopped telling me that. U know I' ve dodged bullets in the army, been attorney in another state, had my share girlfriends-wife, been in spiritual battles, but this is the most difficult thing ever had to do. She has all the power. If she stops ans my calls, it's all over. It's not likely she will reach out to me, or just pop up. I need to say right thing in text n call her right frequency n hope she good mood. In person we have strong mutual attraction but when she off by herself she searches for reasons to reject me. I worry so much about her cause she was poor as can be. How is she eating, sleeping etc. I read here that JW can actually stay JW accomodations etc. But, I don't know. When I once asked her if she been abused, cause seems like it, she didn't ans just hung her head. I figure abused hurt in life a lot on top of the endless sufferings of being a minority person n turned JW who prbly helped her but who some say is an abusive organiz. She's had difficult life but didn't turn bad, she turned to God. Wow, such a noble and good character. I really want her in my life. I want to help her n make her happy. In an effort to succeed sought advice some black guys n girls-all have been so kind n understanding. One was JW gentleman. When I told him the story he said "WOW, THIS IS DEEP". He said for now just try b her friend outside the JW that she can trust n count on. We had alot laughs too. She apparently though is strict n believes she must not have any non JW friend. I'ld settle for being able call her once every week or two n say "hi" for couple minutes. Once she doesn't p/u the phone, it's all over. There's more to the story, but that's basically it. Her first name is Kristian, so if anyone knows/knew a Kristian/JW frm Hollywood FL general area let me know n I'll give you her last name. I don't even know if she's still in this city, she may have moved on to somewhere else. She was like a gypsy, in a sense, during the 12 days we related. I've texted her that I'ld like to know if she's still in this city. You know I've had never cried as an adult even when my father, mother, oldest brother, wife died. But, I've been crying about this girl. Must be something spiritual about it.
God Bless All of You -n- any advice you can give to me.
Crazyguy

Very hard to read
AudeSapere

Without paragraphs this is too tough to read.
Here is re-post of the OP with a few breaks added in:
.

Was happily married many yrs unconditional love till wife went heaven yr n half ago.
3 mos ago Sun morn. at beach-park saw tall slender cute black girl whose vibes were pure n unique. She had big cloth trvl bag. Lots people around. I sat down next her on bench. Soon she lay down on bench take nap. Heard her laugh out loud to self. I thought oh maybe mental prblms, I shouldn't bother her.
Went home but conscience bothered me that I was attracted but abandoned her cause she had issues, but I knew she needed help.
Went back hoping she was still there. When I arrived was one person there who got up n left. I was now alone w/her. We looked at each other n smiled. I sat w/her n we talked 3 hrs. She said came Hollywood FL area is "in transition", is a JW n was a Methodist in past. (I knew nothing abt JW). I am in Treasure Coast FL area.
We talked about everything except some things she didn't want talk abt, but that was cool. I love God n she was very religious, so she appealed to me. She gave me her cell# n email. She bought chips but no $ for drink. So I gave her $20. I wanted stay but didn't want overdo it. She told me she'ld b there next day to look for her. Told her call me if needed any kind help.
Next morn.I went there she was waiting n we had big smile for each other. We hung out together all day:restuarants,Walmart,fast food etc. She said she had a "roof over her head", but looked me like homeless or staying shelter or some JW house.
We were so compatible, what she said, the words she used, the spirit behind the words, the things she did, the way she thought--all just like me. It was wonderful! Asked her if she wanted go see my new townhouse. She said yes. So, we chilled out there for awhile. I even told her let me know if needs place stay she can stay for free n I'll help her get on her feet. She was c/o where the bus stop is etc. Then we went back beach-park.
I been married years, had my share girl friends, raised daughter. I could tell we liked each other a lot. One thing she had said earlier is she had "keep moving". I didn't pry why.
Anyway sun going down we been together 2 days was time figure out if "future". She told me "I can't mislead u into a relationship, courtship, marriage". I thought wow that's real fast, but was ok cause we both middle aged n really clicked. But the "feeling" I got was that she was saying what she wanted to have happen but that she couldn't help/lead/cooperate bec of her religion so if I wanted the same thing I was on my own to figure out how make it happen. Anyway I said "Oh u mean because you're married"? She said "no, cause that's my religion". I said "are you going let someone else tell u how live ur life"? She said "no, those are the rules if they find out they'll kick me out of the church".
She told me to call her, as she squinted into the sun that lit up her eyes n face n she looked so beautiful I could see into her soul as we had looked deep into each others eyes so many times. I told her "no, you call me cause I don't have all those rules. Anyway, we parted nicely.
3 days went by finally I called her. She had been "at the library writing an important letter n was now at the post office to mail it n this was a big day in her life". I didn't pry.
She asked how I was. Told her "lonely". She said "why"? Told her that I missed her. She got little angry said told u, JW cannot be boyfriend-girlfriend. Told her breaking my heart she sounded sincere said she was sorry . I knew she too had feelings but could suppress them.
For 2 days she had been feminine, natural, nice. Once I expressed my feelings she turned tomboyish cold. Knowing that my feelings caused her conflict. I tried ease her stress. Texted her "good news 4 u, I don't love u anymore haha, so u don't have worry or think abt it."
Knowing my routine early next morn she ambushed me n said "Geez in only 2 days n u have those feelings inside. I cannot associate w/you then. I told her I can't help it. She said "Ohhhh". Told her don't worry I can control it. She said "Noooo". I thought oh good she doesn't want me to control it.
Anyway soon she p/up her heavy bag n walked off. Told her God sent half decent person help her how can she walk away n you may have regrets. Next time saw her she complained that "first u say like this then u say like that etc." She wasn't clear abt my feelings. So, again to ease her mind n so she wouldn't feel hounded, I told her "hey I have girlfriends". N she told me I've been very nice to her n she will pay me back everything. Told her she owes me nothing.
Prbly shouldn't told her abt girlfriends.
Next day I say her was her was very last time. She had shaved her head. Bizzare, but it was ok cause I care for her. She said when she comes to beach she cannot associate w/me. We sat silently for awhile then she p/u bag n walked off. We had seen ea other for abt 12 days.
She was very intelligent never had $ for college. She loves God n so do I. So, we really matched. It's only her JW beliefs blocking things. I've never loved someone so deeply n it's not infatuation or limerance. I called her she didn't return my call. So I did no contact 1 month, but got worried might lose her forever so started texting. Finally called her she said I told u I'm JW so cannot n not to call her. So, didn't call her but continued texting.
Told her if she really really didn't want me I'll be gone otherwise she needs ans my phone calls. So, last 2x called her she did ans n knows it's me cause still on her speed dial. But she said agn cannot b friends cause she JW n something abt her ph unable text n she hangs up soon, no two way conversation. B4 cause she told me 2x that I have a prblm n need get therapy cause I'm still pursuing her even she says cannot get together. But told her I have B.S. Physchology n she has stopped telling me that.
U know I' ve dodged bullets in the army, been attorney in another state, had my share girlfriends-wife, been in spiritual battles, but this is the most difficult thing ever had to do. She has all the power. If she stops ans my calls, it's all over. It's not likely she will reach out to me, or just pop up. I need to say right thing in text n call her right frequency n hope she good mood. In person we have strong mutual attraction but when she off by herself she searches for reasons to reject me.
I worry so much about her cause she was poor as can be. How is she eating, sleeping etc. I read here that JW can actually stay JW accomodations etc. But, I don't know.
When I once asked her if she been abused, cause seems like it, she didn't ans just hung her head. I figure abused hurt in life a lot on top of the endless sufferings of being a minority person n turned JW who prbly helped her but who some say is an abusive organiz. She's had difficult life but didn't turn bad, she turned to God. Wow, such a noble and good character. I really want her in my life. I want to help her n make her happy.
In an effort to succeed sought advice some black guys n girls-all have been so kind n understanding. One was JW gentleman. When I told him the story he said "WOW, THIS IS DEEP". He said for now just try b her friend outside the JW that she can trust n count on.
We had alot laughs too. She apparently though is strict n believes she must not have any non JW friend. I'ld settle for being able call her once every week or two n say "hi" for couple minutes. Once she doesn't p/u the phone, it's all over.
There's more to the story, but that's basically it.
Her first name is Kristian, so if anyone knows/knew a Kristian/JW frm Hollywood FL general area let me know n I'll give you her last name. I don't even know if she's still in this city, she may have moved on to somewhere else. She was like a gypsy, in a sense, during the 12 days we related. I've texted her that I'ld like to know if she's still in this city. You know I've had never cried as an adult even when my father, mother, oldest brother, wife died. But, I've been crying about this girl. Must be something spiritual about it.
God Bless All of You -n- any advice you can give to me.
joe134cd

Sorry man but that was just all over the place. Good luck how ever.
eyeuse2badub

Make it brief. You sound like the wtbts's writing committee. 18 paragraph study that could be summed up in 2.
just saying!
eyeuse2badub
millie210

Hi new poster thankyou,
It sounds like your connection to this woman was immediate and intense.
I can see that you are very sad and confused. You have really been through a lot emotionally lately with the death of your wife and now this. It looks like your emotions have been on a roller coaster that you didnt ask for or plan on.
If what you are seeking here is information on this woman, you probably wont find it here, People here are anonymous (like your posting name "thankyou").
If what you are hoping to find here is information about Jehovahs Witnesses and what they teach people and what their rules are, then you have come to the right place.
Im sorry you are hurting and I hope you enjoy your time at this forum.
Welcome and glad to have you here.
rebel8

It is very possible for a JW to be homeless/transient. They strongly discourage careers and education, just wait for the Sky Daddy to take care of you.
The head shaving has nothing to do with JW. In fact, she will probably be counseled by the church elders for doing that because it draws attention to herself. (Sometimes homeless folks will shave their heads because of lice they got from sleeping in infested bedding.)
JW do not believe in psychiatric help or mental illness. She would be looked down upon for having a mental illness and more so for getting treatment.
jw do not date w/o chaperones. She would get in trouble for being alone with you. The fact that you are a non-jw means she would get in deeper trouble.
This woman has a lot of problems.
Finkelstein

My advise is to be a friend if she calls but don't get emotionally involved in a love truss, you could get yourself hurt in big way down the road.
The Searcher

Hi "Thankyou" - welcome.
As a fading J.W., the best advice I can give you is that you let her know that you will help her whenever she needs you. Don't get involved with her religion - just be available if she calls. You may not have to wait too long.
I wish you the happiness you seek.
Finkelstein

Getting too close to someone who is suffering from emotional or psychological troubles is like playing with fire,
therefore due caution is warranted.

Breaking Heart Needs Help

God Bless All of You -n- any advice you can give to me.

Was happily married many yrs unconditional love till wife went heaven yr n half ago.

Went home but conscience bothered me that I was attracted but abandoned her cause she had issues, but I knew she needed help.

Next morn.I went there she was waiting n we had big smile for each other. We hung out together all day:restuarants,Walmart,fast food etc. She said she had a "roof over her head", but looked me like homeless or staying shelter or some JW house.

I been married years, had my share girl friends, raised daughter. I could tell we liked each other a lot. One thing she had said earlier is she had "keep moving". I didn't pry why.

She told me to call her, as she squinted into the sun that lit up her eyes n face n she looked so beautiful I could see into her soul as we had looked deep into each others eyes so many times. I told her "no, you call me cause I don't have all those rules. Anyway, we parted nicely.

3 days went by finally I called her. She had been "at the library writing an important letter n was now at the post office to mail it n this was a big day in her life". I didn't pry.

She asked how I was. Told her "lonely". She said "why"? Told her that I missed her. She got little angry said told u, JW cannot be boyfriend-girlfriend. Told her breaking my heart she sounded sincere said she was sorry . I knew she too had feelings but could suppress them.

For 2 days she had been feminine, natural, nice. Once I expressed my feelings she turned tomboyish cold. Knowing that my feelings caused her conflict. I tried ease her stress. Texted her "good news 4 u, I don't love u anymore haha, so u don't have worry or think abt it."

Knowing my routine early next morn she ambushed me n said "Geez in only 2 days n u have those feelings inside. I cannot associate w/you then. I told her I can't help it. She said "Ohhhh". Told her don't worry I can control it. She said "Noooo". I thought oh good she doesn't want me to control it.

Prbly shouldn't told her abt girlfriends.

Next day I say her was her was very last time. She had shaved her head. Bizzare, but it was ok cause I care for her. She said when she comes to beach she cannot associate w/me. We sat silently for awhile then she p/u bag n walked off. We had seen ea other for abt 12 days.

I worry so much about her cause she was poor as can be. How is she eating, sleeping etc. I read here that JW can actually stay JW accomodations etc. But, I don't know.

In an effort to succeed sought advice some black guys n girls-all have been so kind n understanding. One was JW gentleman. When I told him the story he said "WOW, THIS IS DEEP". He said for now just try b her friend outside the JW that she can trust n count on.

We had alot laughs too. She apparently though is strict n believes she must not have any non JW friend. I'ld settle for being able call her once every week or two n say "hi" for couple minutes. Once she doesn't p/u the phone, it's all over.

There's more to the story, but that's basically it.

God Bless All of You -n- any advice you can give to me.

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