NewLight

Hello to everyone!

I’ve been visiting this site for quite a long time, although I rarely posted. I would like to thank Simon and all the participants, for the valuable information and support that is available here, for anyone searching about the JW organization.

Just a brief introduction of myself: I live in Europe (English is not my native language, so please bear with any mistakes I make). I was born in a JW family and I’m still in the organization, but I’ve been “on the fence” about leaving the organization for quite a long time. I hope that here I’ll find some help, in order to decide.

So I would first like to ask if anyone who was raised as a jw and left the organization, would like to share how easy or difficult this transition was. Having been in the organization for many years, means I have few contacts outside of it. Plus, I’ve been conditioned by the org to see with suspicion anyone who is not a jw - worldly people are malicious… So it seems somewhat scary to me. Any experiences would be appreciated! I would also like to know what helped you in this transition.

Finally, a note about my nickname, “New Light”: I chose it to mock the doctrine changes of the jw org over the years, that were presented as new light, with the result that today, the founder of the org C. T. Russell, would be considered an apostate! But “New Light” has also another (optimistic) meaning: we can shed even more light and see things as they are in reality, without the organization’s lenses…

Vanderhoven7

Hi NewLight,

I don't blame you for wanting to leave the Org.

What would you stand to lose if you do leave?

What might you gain?

Would you be jettisoning Christianity altogether or just the WTS version?

jhine

Hi New Light, your English is excellent.

I've never been a JW but have learned a lot from this site . I started researching the WT after having had some doorstep conversations during which l felt that much of what was preached was dodgy .

Do some independent research, not just read JW approved stuff . The fact that they say that the Bible can only be understood through their teachings is in itself suspicious.

Jan

punkofnice

NL - So I would first like to ask if anyone who was raised as a jw and left the organization, would like to share how easy or difficult this transition was.

Because I was an Elder(tm), the knives were out for me because I didn't do the sensible thing and fade, I announced that I thought it was all a pile of lies from a big corporation posing as a religion. The Elders(tm) instructed my wife to leave me which destroyed our family, leaving me as a single parent coping with 2 boys.

It was hell and I'm still feeling the blows.

The only way out is to fade away. A long path.

You'll never be totally free of the greedy corporation but you can at least get some wiggle room.

The Governing Body of Jehovah's witnesses(tm) are greedy, drunken, disgusting pederast lovers that thirst for power and riches. If evil exists they are wallowing in it. I loathe them with every fibre of my being but know that there will never be justice. There just isn't any power in the universe that will tip the balance in my favour. Those with money rule the day.

Rant over. As you were!

Phizzy

Hi New Light !

I was born in, in for decades, decided to fade, walked out of the K.H one day shortly after that decision, and then decided I could never go back, not even for a slow fade, so, I left "Cold Turkey" as they say when you just give up drugs.

I did not know at that point what would happen, would my wife stay "in" ? would my JW family shun me ? would I lose all my JW friends, people I had grown up with, and seen them marry and have kids etc ?

My wife agreed never to go back too ! Phew ! my JW family only shun me in the mildest way. One of the family told us a while ago : "We still love you, you know" . Sweet.

I did lose all my JW friends, they decided I was dangerous to know, that I would "ruin their faith" if they spoke to me.

I had some good friends who were never J.W's so hooked up with them more, and that has been wonderful, I am now closer to them than I ever was in reality to JW "friends", these "worldly" friends really care for us, do things for us, out of the ordinary things, they offer ! they love without conditions. Most "worldly" people are great !

All I can hope is that your exit is as easy, you must decide how to do it, fade or just stop. Do whatever is best for you. Do your homework, and get rid of all J.W false teachings, and the fear of the false idea of Armageddon etc.

Good Luck, all the best for the future !

TonusOH

Hi NewLight,

I faded over a very long time, and it wasn't deliberate. I just found it harder and harder to make the effort to go to meetings or go on field service. But I believed in what they taught and figured it was my own failings, so when elders tried to encourage me, I was earnest in my desire to 'improve.' But it simply wasn't happening.

By the time I realized I wasn't a JW, I had faded pretty completely. I had even stopped going to the memorial for a few years at that point. I think they took it easy on me because I wasn't stirring up trouble and because my mom is still a diehard JW, and I think they did not want to do anything to upset her.

I can't really say what the best option is, because we're all different. If I had not wanted so badly to remain a JW, I doubt I would have faded so gradually. I would not have been able to make even the half-hearted effort I was making until the early 2000s, when I stopped trying but kept telling myself I'd get back in. I think that, once you realize it's not for you, you need to consider all of the factors before you decide on a course of action. Good luck.

truth_b_known

So I would first like to ask if anyone who was raised as a jw and left the organization, would like to share how easy or difficult this transition was.

I did not consider leaving until I was in a situation were I was unable to regularly attend meetings for work. I stopped studying, reading Watchtower publications, and going in field service. Then I missed months worth of consecutive meetings.

Then came a move to another state. Now I was isolated from former friends and family. I had already started relying on co-workers who befriended me instead of Witnesses.

Here is how I would look at the whole situation -

Determine if you are financially independent from JW family. Can you pay for your housing, food, and monthly expenses without any problem? Do you live in your own home? If you cannot say "yes" to both questions without hesitation leaving will be near impossible.
Do you have a support structure of non-JW family and friends? Can you start making one? Having someone who you can rely on for emotional support is essential. That is why the Watchtower preaches not making friends outside the organization. It is the number one way they maintain control over you.
Can you live happily without having regular association with your JW family members? Once you can live with this and the above two point you are ready to leave.

BoogerMan

Hi NewLight, welcome to the forum.

Many of us have been through what you are feeling just now and have used different means to escape the claws of the WTBTS beast.

If you're going to disassociate, you'll know exactly what faces you. If you fade, it should be less traumatic. Here is the JW 'firewall' I have shared with other "faders" over the years, to help deal with interrogators:

"Thank you for your concerns, but I/we have PRIVATE & PERSONAL concerns which I/we can't discuss with anyone at the moment, but I/we appreciate your motives and concern. If things change, it's good to know that I/we can call you."

Conversation Stoppers - especially when elders contact you:

1) "We only want to come and give you encouragement." Simply repeat the response above!

2) "But how can we help you if you won't talk to us?"

"Everyone has PRIVATE & PERSONAL situations which they can't discuss with others, and I'm sure that includes elders - I'm no different!"

3) Are you refusing to talk with us?

"No, I just don't want to discuss things right now. I'll call you if things change." If they persist with their interrogation, just say 'thanks', and walk away - immediately!

Do not PROLONG their interrogation. They can't punish you for ending a conversation! Repeat any/all of the above to anyone who tries to extract information from you, because the elders will try and get someone you trust to get the information out of you! Elders hate having potential "loose cannons" in their domain. All the best.

peacefulpete

Seriously and slowly read works like:

Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves

Some of it naturally won't apply but soon you'll realize much does. Understanding why you have the feelings you do, and why members feel they way they do about those that leave high control groups like the JWs is of tremendous value for moving on without fear or pointless bitterness.

Help needed