For those who have been out of the Borg for awhile do you have a Authentic Personality? Six points to look at.
I remember when I first came on this site back in 2007 many of the threads talk about after you leave a cult you need to find your Authentic Personality. I have found this takes a lot of effort. I found this article from the Huffington Post under Healthy Living date 7-29-2014. (Six signs you're a truly genuine person). 1. You have high self-esteem. To much is not good and to little is not good. You want something solid in the middle. 2. You embrace vulnerability. The stronger your self esteem, the more able you are to admit your failing and to receive criticism. 3. You share your true thoughts, beliefs and opinions with the world. 4. You openly give and receive compliments. 5. You really listen-and prefer deep conversations. 6. You're driven by a inner voice rather than your surroundings.
Merrian-Webster defines Authentic as a quality of being genuine and worthy of belief. Hence, a person who is completely trustworthy is deemed to be Authentic. Yet to be genuine a certain transparency, whereby others can witness the unfiltered personality,.without any masking.
I find point number 4 is one I still need to work on. Being a born-in and being called "a good for nothing slave" for 54 years it is still hard to take a compliments. So I guess I am still working on my Authentic Personality. So the question is how are the rest of you doing? My wife keeps telling me it takes time. Still Totally ADD
STadd, a very sound post, I think you are trustworthy and authentic!
It is however a sad state of affairs when many of the eight million true believers among the congs today do struggle with lack of self belief and do not experience the normal confidence that adult life should bring with it.They are taught not to follow their instincts, so when they do leave the org; they have no experience in self determination and are likely to fail. The reason has to be that their upbringing as children enforced not humility but a life of subservience and subservience to an unworthy cult leadership at that.
The JW organisation has destroyed the self esteem of countless millions of followers...and to what end?....................To ruthlessly further its own financial standing and hence its status as a business corporation.
The JW org cares not a fig for its members, the only beneficiaries of this charade are the leaders, the ones who make up the stupid stories they claim to be "God's will".
May it soon be exposed and dismantled.
Nice thread STILL TADD . Very good points you bring out there. Important, thanks for posting this. After almost 14 years being out myself and having been raised earlier in my life by a strict staunch elder dad who never complimented me or ever told me he loved me - I still occasionally struggle with the lack of self esteem somewhat- but my self esteem has gotten much stronger these past several years. I've actually stood up to my older JW family when I saw certain injustices being committed towards my JW mom when she was still alive.
For anybody here who recently exited out of the Jehovah's Witness cult- don't give up. In time you will find your authentic personality again that was buried by your JW personality. Be patient with yourself- it takes time and we need to be kind to ourselves because we were never shown true objective kindness inside the WT organization- there were always " conditions " on how much kindness was shown to us. The more we as EX-JW's educate ourself and read books that restore our self esteem, like books from Steve Hassan about how mind control works, psychology books, other self help books- we will eventually win this psychological war within ourselves- but it takes time, just have to keep on keeping on. Thanks my friend for posting this thread. Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Thanks to STADD.
Thanks to Mr Flipper also. Your reminder that it takes time and to be kind and patient with yourself was a something I needed to hear right now.
Half banana you are right about 8 million people in the borg suffer with low self esteem. When I was in a week did not go by that I was reminded that I was a good for nothing slave. I agree " may it soon be exposed and dismantle.
Flipper all good books to read. If you have just left please read these books. I think as born-ins we will always be working on our authentic personality. It just nice I did not turn out to be a asshole as my anthentic personality. LOL. Good for you for standing up to your family. I hope it showed them that you are not mentally disease but instead a person who is thoughtful and good. You take care of yourself and have a great day. Still Totally ADD
Doing okay I think except for 2) showing vulnerability, still struggle with that. Got so used to being kicked in the soft underbelly in that cult I learnt to hide it. Thanks Totally ADD very interesting post.
I am working on it and think I am doing better now that I am away from being told how to think by the pages of the -Watchtower- .
Number 3 is a challenge because I have so much family still in and I constantly am trying to balance honesty with tact and patience.
Very hard to find that balance!
Thank-you sparrowdown for your comment on this subject. Glad this helped you.
Xanthippe you are welcome. Hope you will be able to overcome point number 2. Like myself it just takes time to overcome. Good luck to you.
millie210 I understand your problem. That is a very hard one when you have family and friends still in the Borg. I wish you will be able to find the right balance in your life. Take care. Still Totally ADD