Approximately, 14 years ago I experienced a very violent explosion. I was air vacd to another city and died in route. I dont remember going anywhere or seeing a light, but it was AFTER the fact that got weird. I was in ICU for a few months and when released I had to do some followups with Drs. On one occasion I could not find the entrance to the facility and walked into the emergency unit... I was met by the original ambulatory crew, who I vaguely remembered, and they all turned white as ghosts and said YOU DIED. I was like what? The one guy was literally holding onto a medallion and they walked away...
I started noticing that young children and babies would stare at me incessantly, to the point it was very uncomfortable, and parents who would try to turn them away and they would move around to once again make eye contact. During one visit downtown I had a psychic, new business opened, ask for me to come in for a free reading. She did her thing and about 10 minutes later she was visibly shaken and told me to leave as I had something attached to me? I would often and sometimes even now see shadows moving... I often wonder if this world is not meant for me...
Finally, and most important, and the reason for this post, is that during this time and for the entire year, I had the same reoccuring dream night after night that would always progress from the night before, like a story. I remember it vividly, the sun, the smell, the people, everything. The people were individuals Ive never met, all about early 30s and younger, in a rural farm land type setting. The key person was this young woman whom Ive never seen before, extremely beautiful (the eyes and smile, freckles, facial structure, voice...) and I seemed to be very attached to her (we would talk, run, cry, laugh, etc), to the point that when the dream ended I felt longing, lost and depressed until the following night...
Well, 14 years later I seem to be working with this girl now. I dont know how to explain it, it is her, and I dont know what to do. I have this obsessive attachment to her. She is married and I am also... I literally obsess on her 24/7... to the point im in mental and physical anguish.... help.
My wife knows of the dreams, and I guess Ive been talking about this young woman too much that has caused my wife to be suspicious. I just dont know what she will think, or think Im nuts if I tell her its this girl... ugh
This entire experience has been a soul torturer (and I wish an NDE on no one) and continues to be... at times I wonder if Charon should have exacted his toll....
--Ill keep adding thoughts to this post as they come. Although my life from a career perspective has gone better than most, I do tend to have very bad luck. In addition, I dont feel satisfied, whole, but lost, empty, melancholy... etc. Im not nuts, I have a friend who is a psychiatrist and they indicated it could be PTSD which explains none of the other residual and immediate events surrounding this violent event...
...or even now, working with this woman who was in a dream 14 years ago. Just when I thought things were moving forward (kids have stopped staring, I still do see shadows, dreams went away...) this girl pops into my life... No idea where to go from this.
I dont really know how to proceed... thought this anguish was leaving but I guess it never will... just my luck